Posted on 11/15/2005 7:46:34 AM PST by WestTexasWend
SOUTH PADRE ISLAND (AP) - Making out with palm trees. Mistaking police cars for taxi cabs. Rolling a stolen restaurant barbecue down the road, flames shooting up from the chicken cooking on the grill.
Such spring break hijinks have earned municipal Judge David Colwell's morning-after docket the reputation as one of the best shows in town.
Colwell said friends suggested that the judge begin recording some of the more memorable anecdotes. Over nine years, he has collected these into a self-published, 98-page tome, "Spring Break: A Judge's View from the Bench" being sold at local bookstores. Although Colwell recounts some serious incidents of violence and death, the majority are humorous.
Most involve public intoxication. The students' excuses hardly seem worthy of the educations they're getting at some of the nation's most prestigious universities. After a night in jail, they stumble into Colwell's court to plea their case.
"I drank brake fluid."
Doesn't matter, Colwell said, you were still publicly intoxicated.
Any spring-breaker with that excuse gets to hear about how Colwell spent his own 21st birthday in basic training in a dry parish in Louisiana.
"My primary rule is if I have to sit up there all day, by God, they have an obligation to entertain me," Colwell said. When he hears snickers, he tells those in the courtroom to "Go ahead and laugh. I'm going to laugh with you, 'cause most of the time it's so darn stupid."
Years ago at the Jersey shore my excuse for being in a bar under age was "They had a sign saying bathers welcome and I had my suit on" got a snicker and a fine ($25) from the judge.
I bet this would be a very entertaining book. May have to check it out.
A lot of proud parents out there, doncha know!
Turn him loose, it was spring brake.
Now that is pretty damned drunk, PING!!!
Could make for a good read.
LOL...palm trees.
Lesson Learned from Spring Break in Fort Lauderdale, circa 1980:
Don't antagonize the undercover narc cops.
The second was the guy they busted for relieving himself on top of the dunes next to the road. He had his back to the beach, and the officer was walking up the hill behind him. The entire crowd was screaming at him to run, but he was so blasted that he didn't notice. The officer put the cuffs on him, didn't even let him zip up before they perp-walked him down the hill.
It was usually all good, but the one thing that went silly was the way that they would trick non-locals into getting arrested. It was, back then, legal to drive around while drinking, as long as you weren't drunk. The one catch was, there was a law that it was illegal to consume alcoholic beverages in a place that did not have consume licenses. Every convenience store had a sign in the window to the effect that "It is a crime (misdemeanor) to consume alcoholic beverages on these premises". So, whenever a car pulled into the store parking lot to re-stock, if someone had an open container in the car, which was legal on the road, they would get busted as soon as their car was on the pavement. The locals knew the score, as silly as it was, but the others did not.
I bet his folks can't leave him alone with the Christmas tree. "Junior breaks more darn ornaments, I just don't know what he's doing in there..." ;o)
LOL, now there's an image I did not need in my brain!
"But officer, the sign says Stop, not Stay!"
It does sound funny.
(and no, I have no spring break stories).
Ouch!!
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