Posted on 11/09/2005 10:57:31 AM PST by aculeus
WASHINGTON, Nov. 9 (UPI) -- The U.S. patent office has reportedly granted a patent for an anti-gravity device -- breaking its rule to reject inventions that defy the laws of physics.
The journal Nature said patent 6,960,975 was granted Nov. 1 to Boris Volfson of Huntington, Ind., for a space vehicle propelled by a superconducting shield that alters the curvature of space-time outside the craft in a way that counteracts gravity.
One of the main theoretical arguments against anti-gravity is that it implies the availability of unlimited energy.
"If you design an anti-gravity machine, you've got a perpetual-motion machine," Robert Park of the American Physical Society told Nature.
Park said the action shows patent examiners are being duped by false science.
Copyright 2005 by United Press International. All Rights Reserved.
Otherwise known as a bong?
Wait, those don't counteract gravity, do they?
Are you in a position to enlighten us?
Where are the flying cars? THEY SAID THERE WOULD BE FLYING CARS!
This sounds like it's in the same category as those X-ray glasses I used to read about in comic books...
Hardly surprising, since the USPTO is being forced to hire 900 more examiners. It's not a bad job for a recent grad with no experience, actually, and not always a bad start, since Einstien appears to have done OK.
But my recent experiences with Office Actions are making me pretty cynical about the value of dealing with the entire situation.
Imagine this:
There are not many places where an employee gets OJT while costing the client legal fees approaching $300/Hour, down a bottomless rat hole that has no end in sight, sometimes for years.
Try Unobtanium or seldomseenium.
Of course the rarest of all is solvium.
That's right. For example, a magnet can be an anti-gravity machine, and it would be perfectly ok to build a machine with magnets in it and patent it. In fact gravity is a really weak force anyway.
It's a perpetual motion machine that's off limits.
LOL.
By the time they figure out how to do it, the patent will have long since expired. But, hey the guy got is name and idea in the patent records for posterity.
Besides, there is still the issue of implementation.
Everyone knows that this produces extreme levels of tetrion particles.
What I always wanted was a gravity [glassless] lens for my camera - it would be the true and perfect apochromat, no color distortiuon or separation whatsoever.
Me too. After going through the patent office treadmill for years with a number of different applications, I've come to the conclusion that it's better to just take my chances not patenting my technology, keep it a trade secret, and crush everyone in the marketplace first before they know what hit them.
Gravity is a myth. The Earth sucks.
Patents may be granted for one or more claims even if the main claim is not granted. The patent will be found to be for the device configuration, not for its alleged anti-gravity properties.
Wait, those don't counteract gravity, do they?
I think we can all agree that they are a repelling force.
If it is novel and useful, be assured that the USPTO and your Law Firm will be happy to take your money.
After a few years of arguing with examiner-trainees, and going to DC to fight them in front of their manager, , you can proudly display the document, complete with blue ribbons and a shiny foil seal, and at the same time, be inundated with ads for Handsome Framed Patent Certificates and Lampshades of your Great Moment Of Fame.
Well, here goes. Her legs "alters the curvature of space-time" to such an extent that they become the focus of "down" or the down-slope of the space-time fabric. Hence, in their general vicinity, all objects will be attracted to, or drawn to, the more negative gravity factor. As proof, just watch as she walks into any room, and immediately all cameras (heavy metal and plastic) point to her. All attendees' eyes are drawn to her (though they must be shielded by turning one's head slightly downward), and members of the MSM fall down on their knees, obviously unable to withstand her power and glory........
see #39.....
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