Just Whom Is This Divorce 'Good' For?

What we really need is more privately-sponsored and available pre-marital education... We need...mentoring within congregations by older, successful married people to newlyweds and new parents. We need more research and development into compatibility screening methods....I am also in favor of parental licensing. Children would not be illegitimate, but their parents could be.

True. But we also need to make it more difficult to get a divorce. You shouldn't be able legally to divorce becasue you're unfulfilled....At the very least, couples should be required to go through a counseling program such as the one you described before they can divorce for anything other than abuse, addiction, or adultery.

My point is that once a bad relationship has been entered into by inexperienced, unsuitable or thoughtless mates, it is ten times harder to make anything good out of the situation. Energy should be spent on the front end, making sure people choose wisely, and that they have the proper education and values clarification to make a good choice.

Just Whom Is This Divorce 'Good' For?

The lawyers who bill the former marital estates into nothing to get fancy cars and wealthy.

50% of 100% is 50% and financially that is a failing grade to both sides of a divorce.

Being kind to a constant source of stress in your life isn't easy.

I didn't say it was easy. But you are either committed or you aren't.

emotions are tough things to control at the best of times.

True. But if one is a parent, they'd better LEARN to control their emotions. And if they can do it with the kids, then they should be able to do it with their spouse for the sake of the kids. I'm a firm believer that, if you treat someone with kindness, unless they are mentally unbalanced, they will begin to respond to you in a different (better) way.

The reality is that people say "OK I married the wrong person and now I'm stuck here for the children and I hate my life and all the people that are part of making suck".

If they can't be kind to one another, then staying in the marriage 'for the sake of the kids' may not be the best choice. And if they can't learn to control their emotions enough to treat one another kindly, then the kids have no chance whether the parents stay married or not.

Of course if people have decided they don't want to be together but will stay together "for the kids" obviously they aren't committed.

And I'm of the firm belief that treating a source of stress with kindness is harder than it sounds.

Like I said, bad marriages are bad for kids one way or the other. There's a list of damage done if you stay together for the kids and list of damage done if you divorce. Some time people gotta pick which way they themselves will do the least ammount of damage and go with that.

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