Posted on 11/07/2005 9:04:47 PM PST by Lorianne
Reading a piece about dating in The New York Times Magazine on Sunday, I felt like a Rip Van Winkle who fell into matrimonial sleep 15 years ago and awoke to find courtship had regressed back to the Victorian era.
Dowd said that she knew the coquettish rules for dating long before she had heard of ''The Rules,'' a 1995 bestseller on how to play hard to get in order to land a husband.
I... had heard of ''The Rules'' by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, but I assumed it was part of the backlash against feminism and would go the way of Marabel Morgan's ''The Total Woman.'' How many women, after all, still get naked and wrap themselves in Saran Wrap to greet their husbands at the door? (My husband might argue, not enough.)
Skimming ''The Rules,'' I learned how to play hard to get — 15 years after I'd been got. Make your date wait, always let the man do the asking, don't offer to pay, and don't set foot in public without makeup.
I laid this at the feet of Dr. Robert M. Gordon, an Allentown psychologist.
''The Rules,'' Gordon said, are right in one sense: ''If you play games, it will help you catch a man. But it won't help you keep him. It won't help you to have an enduring, satisfying relationship.''
Dowd had cited a British study that showed the chance of marriage for men increased by 35 percent with each 16-point rise in IQ. For women, there was a 40 percent drop in their marriage prospects for each 16-point increase in IQ.
So smart men don't want to marry smart women? Gordon argued that a man who comes from a family that values education and has loving relationships won't want a dim wife.
(Excerpt) Read more at mcall.com ...
im single
yes
and yes thats why im single
Depends on what she wants to talk about...
No wonder Dowd can't find a man. "The Rules" is about manipulation for selfish ends.
No, just don't expect me to listen.
I had no intention of even trying! LOL!
(kidding. :)
My wife is intelligent, well-educated and speaks her mind all the time. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sometimes, it IS nice. Depends on who the woman is too. ;o)
What? I'm sorry I didn't hear you. My girlfriend was talking.
Speaking from experience, a reputation as “good listener” ranks with the worst fates on earth.
And in daily therapy, I'm sure.
This 649-word article could've been written in < 200.
Dowd can't get a man cause she only dates libs (i.e. men with very low IQs.)
Now Dowd (being a dunce herself) would stay in any marriage she got herself into...
I'm sorry, did you say something?
; )
That's easily explained. The higher-IQ men earn more money. Women care about that. The higher-IQ men spend a lot of time at work. Women don't like that much, but can put up with it.
Higher-IQ women earn more money. Men don't care much about that. Higher-IQ women spend a lot of time at work. Men don't want to put up with that.
IOW, it isn't (as MoDo thinks) that men are louts who are only interested in stupid women, it's that female smarts correlate more with things men aren't particularly interested in, while male smarts correlate more with things women are strongly interested in.
Make your date wait, always let the man do the asking, don't offer to pay, and don't set foot in public without makeup.
My wife broke every one of those rules, repeatedly, and has been happily (I think) stuck with me since she was 21. I was particularly delighted that she broke the "don't offer to pay" rule, early and often.
And deliberately making your date wait is just rude.
"Do men really want women to shut up?" - Well that's like asking if the sun is going to rise tomorrow.
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