Marriage belongs to the straight world and gays should not change it (by a gay person)

Dallas News ^ | 06 November 2005 | Lee Harris

[Lorianne]

Gay marriage is rapidly becoming our national tar baby – something that you cannot touch without getting tar all over you. Once you touch the tar baby, you can never quite get rid of it again.

Frankly, the gay-marriage tar baby perplexes me. I do not understand it. All I know is that I want to keep my distance from it.

The source of my confusion is this. For 18 years, I have shared my life with a member of my own sex, and I have been entirely satisfied with our domestic arrangements. Never once did it occur to me that there was something missing from our lives or that we were the oppressed victims of the heterosexual majority. Never once did I think our lives would be more complete, or more honorable, or more worthy, if only we had been able to get married.

My thought was not that marriage should be only between a man and a woman but, simply and matter-of-factly, that marriage was and had always been between a man and a woman. Marriage as an institution was theirs; it wasn't ours.

[ThirstyMan]

What if society simply doesn't value the two equally?

Bingo! Ding! Ding! Ding! Well put Monti.

[Crim]

Tell them to get a tattoo...

[Publius6961]

In the end, it does always come down to this: wanting society's *approval.*

Wanting it is no big deal.
Demanding it is something else altogether.
How can the defective be so delusional?

[savagesusie]

The lesbians I know want gay marriage - want not to have to adopt each others's children...

That is so selfish --to even think to deny a child his or her father. That really warps a child's view of men and women.

[garylmoore]

Homosexualy will ALWAYS be an abnormal behavior, period.

"AMEN"

[Crim]

!?!...you want to get yelled at for not picking up your socks?

You want to be forced to be nice to your mother in law?

You want to be told you cant hang out with your friends and drink beer?

Or made to sleep on the couch when you do...because you snore too loudly?

You want to be told that you chew too frickin loud?

You want to be henpecked to cut the grass?

You want to go places you dont want to go, and hold purses you dont own, while telling your other that those jeans really dont make her butt look fat...even when they clearly do?

You want to go to the doughnut shop at 3:30am on a work day when your other has the prego-muncies?

You want to be sent for hygenic products that you dont use?

You want to be dragged to movies you'd never otherwise watch if someone payed you?

You want your other to go and what "her shows" for three hours in the other room then complain later that "you didnt spend any time with her'????

You want to listen for an hour about a problem...then offer a clear solution..only to be told that you dont understand , and that your other only wanted to "talk" about it???

You want to be "wrong" about anything and everything for the rest of your life???

And when someone asks you how long you've been married....you want look them right in the eye and say "ALL DAMN DAY"....

I dont get it...

[wouldntbprudent]

And demanding society's approval proves that the individual actually has a deep internal conflict that prevents him from sincerely reaching his own conclusion that his chosen lifestyle is okay.

[Rippin]

I want rights with my same-sex life partner equal to that of a heterosexual spouse.
___________________________________________________

"Rights", there you go. That's the whole problem. Marriage is not about rights its about raising the next generation. What a petty immature selfish movement this is.

[Sir Francis Dashwood]

I want rights with my same-sex life partner equal to that of a heterosexual spouse.

Marriage is a religious rite, not a civil right...

[T Minus Four]

The law is applied to all equally and is NOT discriminatory. A man, gay or straight, is free to marry any woman he can convince to do so.

That's exactly my point. Straight people aren't allowed to marry the same sex either.

[megatherium]

Sensible proposal, but some kind of civil union granting limited rights I think would not be unreasonable. Rights such as power of attorney and hospital visitation rights -- currently many gay couples discover that if one is hospitalized, his family can bar his partner from visiting because they disapprove of their relationship and their relationship has no legal standing.

Just don't call it marriage.

By the way, if memory serves, the leadership of the gay rights groups weren't that interested in gay marriage as an issue, five or ten years ago. They wanted to work on civil rights for gay people for employment, which they figured was do-able politically. Plus, some of the leadership of the gay groups are into the notion that marriage is contrary to the idea of sexual liberation. The gay marriage issue suddenly appeared a few years ago because individual gay couples decided to sue certain jurisdictions for the right. The leadership of the Democratic Party were not happy campers, correctly foreseeing that this would cost them close elections. Here in the Louisville area, the big local megachurch worked hard to get out the anti-gay-marriage vote, and this may have turned a very close senatorial race to Republican in Kentucky.

[megatherium]

And in their opinion, and evidently yours, the only may to make it formal is to hijack a label used for millenia to mean something totally and permanently impossible between two people of the same sex?

I do not support gay marriage as an institution to be a mirror image (in terms of legal rights) of ordinary heterosexual marriage. I support civil unions with limited rights (power of attorney or hospital visitation rights).

The reason I support this is to encourage homosexuals to be less promiscuous and to encourage them to take care of each other. There are many gay couples now who are in decades-long relationships. Many of these relationships are "open" but some of these are not. I have old friends from my graduate school days who have been together for 25 years, and they have nothing to do with the "gay culture", correctly viewing it as dangerous and vile.

I worry that same-sex unions of any kind will serve as advertising for the gay culture, that it will put a stamp of normality on behavior that is dangerous and unhealthy. But I think the undeniable fact is that that culture will be there regardless, and same-sex unions will serve as healthier alternative to the gay culture. The over-riding fact is this: A recent study indicated that 25% of the sexually-active urban gay population has HIV. Anything that encourages gay men to be non-promiscuous is a good thing.

[BizzeeMom]

"Only now we are no longer trying to shove them out of our communities; we are trying to shove our way into theirs."

From the article. Sums up how I feel about it, too.

[CatQuilt]

The lesbians I know want gay marriage

and people in hell want ice water

[MadManDan]

Yeah, you're right; but don't forget power usually brings money, and money is usually what one is after in the search for power. It doesn't matter either way though.

[MadManDan]

I agree that the two specific rights you mentioned should be allowed, but once any right is allowed it will be easier for them to get more. The floodgates will be opened as it were. I think a person can have anyone be their power of attorney already anyway. I don't care if they call it marriage either, it's just a word, they could call it anything for all I care. It's just the "rights" I think that will explode the issue.

[Clemenza]

Picture of authour:

[Syberyenta]

!?!...you want to get yelled at for not picking up your socks?
-- I do
You want to be forced to be nice to your mother in law?
-- I was !! And she came around, in her way....
You want to be told you cant hang out with your friends and drink beer?
-- actually, it's permitted.. with limits.
Or made to sleep on the couch when you do...because you snore too loudly?
-- I sleep on the couch in that case!
You want to be told that you chew too frickin loud?
-- I tell him so over and over
You want to be henpecked to cut the grass?
-- high-floor apartment, no grass
You want to go places you dont want to go, and hold purses you dont own, while telling your other that those jeans really dont make her butt look fat...even when they clearly do?
-- umm not a problem here
You want to go to the doughnut shop at 3:30am on a work day when your other has the prego-muncies?
-- haha in my case, I hear "I want something, but I don't know what" [and it's food, and I fix it]
You want to be sent for hygenic products that you dont use?
-- OTC medicine, usually
You want to be dragged to movies you'd never otherwise watch if someone payed you?
-- we go to those by ourselves
You want your other to go and what "her shows" for three hours in the other room then complain later that "you didnt spend any time with her'????
-- he doesn't mind as long as he gets to watch 'his shows', but the cat complains a lot about having to go back and forth.
You want to listen for an hour about a problem...then offer a clear solution..only to be told that you dont understand , and that your other only wanted to "talk" about it???
-- I have learned not to offer my clear solution-- and it's only rarely needed.
You want to be "wrong" about anything and everything for the rest of your life???
-- I always know I did one thing right

And when someone asks you how long you've been married....you want look them right in the eye and say "ALL DAMN DAY"....
-- it'll be twenty-five years next Feb.

I dont get it...

-- thanks for asking.

[Crim]

Well...all joking aside....good for you...I have a close family member who has been in a monogomus gay relationship for ...uh...*thinks*...almost 30 years...

Some things I support...

The right to share property with anyone of your choosing...

The right to visit your loved one in a hospitol...

The right to bequeth property to anyone of your choosing...

I'm not even bent about "civil" unions per se..

But I draw the line at "marraige"....because plain and simple....what you want isnt marraige...and it can never be in reality...it will be that in name only....

You could have everything you want....but acceptance....and you'll never be able to legislate acceptance...

I agree with the article author...

But I give you props for sticking your neck out...this isnt exactly a gay friendly forum...*grin*