Thank you. (shhhh....don't tell anyone.....but the time machine has been programmed to move ahead some and find some comedies)
On This Day In History
Birthdates which occurred on October 28:
1017 Henry III Holy Roman emperor (1046-56)
1585 Cornelius Otto Jansen France, Roman Catholic reform leader
1793 Eliphalet Remington US gun maker
1810 Brig Gen Adley H Gladden La, killed at Shiloh
1818 Ivan Turgenev Russia, novelist/poet/playwright (Fathers & Sons)
1834 Dudley McIver DuBose Brig General (Confederate Army), died in 1883
1842 Anna Elizabeth Dickinson orator (Joan of Arc of the Civil War)
1846 Auguste Escoffier king of chefs & chef of kings
1902 Elsa Lanchester Lewisham London, actress (Bride of Frankenstien)
1903 Evelyn Waugh London, author (Brideshead Revisited)
1907 Edith Head fashion designer (MGM)
1910 Marie Dollinger Germany, dropped baton in 1936 Olympic sprint
1914 Dr Jonas Salk NYC, medical researcher, made polio a fear of the past (It's baaaack!)
Amish Community Dealing With Polio Virus
http://wcco.com/health/local_story_294100014.html
1926 Bowie Kuhn baseball commissioner (1969-1984)
1927 Cleo Laine Middlesex England, singer (Flesh to a Tiger)
1929 Dody Goodman Columbus Ohio, actress (Mary Hartman!, Max Duggan)
1934 Jim Beatty track runner (1st sub 4 minute indoor mile)
1936 Charlie Daniels country music star (Devil Went Down to Georgia)
1940 Gennadi M Strekalov cosmonaut (Soyuz T-3, T-8, T-11)
1944 Dennis Franz Maywood Ill, actor (Norman Buntz-Hill Street Blues)
1945 Wayne Fontana Manchester England, rocker (Groovy Kind of Love)
1948 Telma Hopkins Louisville, singer (Tony Orlando, Family Matters)
1949 Bruce Jenner US, decathalete (Olympic-gold-1976)
1952 Annie Potts Nashville TN, actress (Mary Jo-Designing Women)
1955 William Gates billionaire CEO (Microsoft)/secret ruler of the world
1962 Daphne Zuniga actress (Gross Anatomy, Fly II, Spaceballs)
4285 NRA1995 time traveler born in M51 galaxy
(http://www.skyimagelab.com/hubble-new-m51.html)
That's right! And you all thought those bagels were just bagels. Well they are more than that, Oh so much more! In an exclusive FreeRepublic report it can be reported that NRA1995 while looking like a mild mannered human female freely spreading coffee and bagels wherever she goes is in fact a time traveling SPACE ALIEN sent here to conquer us by addicting us to bagels. (DON'T EAT THE RAISON BAGELS) That's right, it all part of a giant plot...no make that a giant nefarious plot! (and you know how bad they can be)
Remember: Too much of a good thing. . . can be wonderful.
Hope the next year proves this true.
Deaths which occurred on October 28:
0900 Alfred the Great English monarch, dies
1704 John Locke, English philosopher (2 treatises on govt), dies at 72
1740 Anna Ivanova Romanova empress of Russia (1730-40), dies at 47
1875 William Howard Glover composer, dies at 56
1957 Anthony J Morabito co-owner of SF '49ers, dies while watching a game
1987 Andr‚ Masson France, surrealist artist (Labyrinth), dies at 91
1987 Woody Herman, US jazz clarinetist/composer, dies at 74
1991 John Korbal film historian (Marlene Dietrich), dies at 51
Take A Moment To Remember
GWOT Casualties
Iraq
28-Oct-2003 3 | US: 3 | UK: 0 | Other: 0
US Specialist Isaac Campoy Balad (near) - Salah ad Din Hostile - hostile fire - IED attack
US Sergeant Michael Paul Barrera Balad (near) - Salah ad Din Hostile - hostile fire - IED attack
US Private Algernon Adams Fallujah - Anbar Non-hostile - weapon discharge
28-Oct-2004 3 | US: 3 | UK: 0 | Other: 0
US Private 1st Class Stephen P. Downing II Ramadi - Anbar Hostile - hostile fire
US Specialist Segun Frederick Akintade Balad (S of) - Salah ad Din Hostile - hostile fire - RPG attack
US Sergeant 1st Class Michael Battles Sr. Baghdad (southern part) Hostile - hostile fire - IED attack
Afghanistan
A GOOD DAY
http://icasualties.org/oif/ Data research by Pat Kneisler
Designed and maintained by Michael White
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Go here and I'll stop nagging.
HeroBracelets.org
On this day...
0306 Marcus Aurelius Valerius Maxentius proclaimed emperor of Rome
0312 Constantine the Great defeats Marcus Aurelius Valerius Maxentius at the Mulvian Bridge
0969 Byzantines troops occupy Antioch Syria
1216 Henry III (9) was crowned king of England . Regents led him to agree to the demands made by the barons at Runnymede. Prince Louis, repudiated by the barons, returned to France.
1492 Christopher Columbus discovers Cuba
1595 Battle at Giurgevo: Zsigmond Bathory of Transylvania defeats Turkish army
1636 Harvard University (Boston) established
1776 Battle of White Plains; Washington retreats to NJ
1790 New York gives up claims to Vermont for $30,000
1793 Eli Whitney applies for a patent on the cotton gin
1863 Battle at Wauhatchie Georgia: 865 killed or injured
1864 Battle at Fair Oaks, Virginia, ends after 1554 casualties
1886 Statue of Liberty dedicated by Pres Grover Cleveland, it is celebrated by the 1st confetti (ticker tape) parade in NYC
1890 Last NL-AA World Series game Brooklyn ties Louisville 3 games & 1 tie
1891 Quake strikes Mino-Owari, Japan kills 7,300
(George Bush strikes again!)
1901 Race riots, sparked by Booker T. Washington's visit to the White House, killed 34.
1904 St Louis police try a new investigation method-fingerprints
1914 George Eastman announces the invention of the color photographic process.
1914 Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, founded at Howard University, incorporates
1918 Czechoslovakia gains independence as Austria-Hungary breaks up
1919 Volstead Act passed by Congress, start prohibition over Wilson's veto
(Well that worked out real good)
1922 1st coast-to-coast radio broadcast of a football game
1922 Benito Mussolini takes control of Italy's government
1924 White Sox beat NY Giants 8-4 in Dublin, less than 20 fans attend
1929 1st child born in aircraft, Miami, Fl
1934 Brooklyn & Pittsburgh play a penalty free NFL game
1936 FDR rededicates Statue of Liberty on its 50th anniversary
1940 Greece successfully resists Italy's attack
1946 German rocket engineers begin work in USSR
1948 Flag of Israel is adopted
1953 Bud Grant of Winnipeg Blue Bombers intercepts 5 passes (record)
1958 Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli, elected Pope, taking the name John XXIII
1959 Buffalo Bills enter the AFL
1961 Ground broken for Municipal (Shea) Stadium for NY Mets
1962 Khrushchev orders withdrawal of missiles from Cuba, ending crisis
1962 NY Giant YA Tittle passes for 7 touchdowns vs Wash Redskins (49-34)
1965 Gateway Arch (630' (190m) high) completed in St Louis, Missouri
1965 Pope Paul VI proclaims Jews not collectively guilty for crucifixion
1966 Belgium's Gaston Roelants runs 12-4/5 miles in 1 hour
1970 US/USSR sign an agreement to discuss joint space efforts
1971 England becomes 6th nation to have a satellite (Prospero) in orbit
1975 Calvin Murphy (Houston) begins NBA free throw streak of 58 games
1976 Billy Martin named AL Manager of the Year (NY Yankees)
1977 TV's Rhoda gets married
1978 Donald Ritchie ran the fastest 100 Km ever, doing it in 7.2722
1979 Dick Howser (best Yank mngr win-lost pct .636) replaces Billy Martin
1982 NASA launches RCA-E
1985 The leader of the "Walker family spy ring," John Walker, pleaded guilty to giving U-S Navy secrets to the Soviet Union
1988 Microsoft cofounder Paul Allen gives $10 million to U Wash library
1989 Oakland A's sweep SF Giants in earthquake/BART series
2001 U.S. led forces resumed air strikes against targets in Afghanistan, bombing the Taliban's southern stronghold of Kandahar
2002 In Jordan an assassin pumped eight shots into Laurence Foley (62), an employee of the U.S. Agency for International Development, outside his home in the first known killing of a Western envoy in Amman. 2 suspects were arrested Dec 14. Abu Musab Zarqawi was suspected in the murder.
2004 Amar Saifi, one of North Africa's most wanted Islamic terrorist leaders, is taken into custody in Algeria. The No. 2 leader of the Salafists is accused in the kidnapping of 32 European tourists last year.
Holidays
Note: Some Holidays are only applicable on a given "day of the week"
Cuba : Loss of Major Camila Cienfuegas
Czechoslovakia : Foundation of the Republic Day (1918)
Greece, Cyprus : Ochi Day (1940)
US : National Pie Day.
Disarmament Week (Day 6)
National Magic Week (Day 4)
Plush Animal Lover's Day
National Folly Day.
National Communicate with Your Kid Month
Religious Observances
RC, Ang, Luth : Feast of St. Simon
RC, Saint Jude's Day. saint of hopeless causes
Religious History
0312 Roman emperor Constantine, 32, defeated the army of Maxentius, a contender to the throne, at Milvian Bridge, after trusting in a vision he had seen of the cross, inscribed with the words, "In this sign conquer." Constantine was converted soon after and became the first Roman emperor to embrace the Christian faith.
1646 At Nonantum, Mass., colonial missionary John Eliot ("Apostle to the New England Indians"), 42, conducted the first Protestant worship service for the Indians of North America. He also delivered the first sermon preached to the Indians in their native tongue.
1777 Anglican clergyman and hymnwriter John Newton wrote in a letter; 'The Lord usually reserves dying strength for a dying hour.'
1820 Birth of John H. Hopkins, a leader in the development of Episcopal church hymnody during the mid-19th century. Today, he is better remembered as the author and composer of the Christmas hymn, "We Three Kings of Orient Are."
1949 American missionary martyr Jim Elliot, 22, inscribed in his journal perhaps the most oft-quoted of all his sayings: 'He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.'
Source: William D. Blake. ALMANAC OF THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH. Minneapolis: Bethany House, 1987.
BILL GATES TO BUY MARS!
. . . He'll use his new version of Windows 'Microsoft Wormhole' to get him there fast!
By JOHN CARTEROF
Financial Reporter
Redmond, Wash.
BILL GATES is the wealthiest man in the history of planet Earth -- if we discount the massive collection of beads recently found in the cave of Kromaguez, a prehistoric man who lived in the North of Spain, and also had a summer cave in the South of France. One would think the founder of Microsoft has no more mountains to climb. That's far from true, and those mountains are not on this planet.
And now a company insider is telling Weekly World News that Gates, the man who revolutionized the world of computing with Windows, plans to move from cyberspace to outer space. His target? Not Earth but Mars, the fourth planet from the sun. The reason? "Because it's there," our source laughs. "He thinks it's the next logical step. The age of computers was launched by the machines we created to explore space. To come up with the next generation of computers, Gates believes we need to go back into space.
"He also mentioned he wanted a new vacation home, something with a whole lot of privacy." Mars would certainly give him that. The latest data from the Red Planet shows it to be cold and lifeless.
"It's like Finnadigbodagattir on a Thursday night," laughed Einar Fredrikktsen, who is arranging the sale. He is the Greenland ambassador at the United Nations.
Not that the real estate purchase process came easily. As an uninhabited world, Mars fell under the jurisdiction of the United Nations Institute of Technology (UNIT). When the UN first decided to sell the Red Planet as a fund-raiser for peacekeeping efforts -- ironic since Mars was the Roman god of war -- Helki Santgar also made a bid to buy it. Though the international home-furnishing store mogul had the cash, his computer mysteriously malfunctioned when he was submitting his final bid. He also didn't have a way of actually getting to Mars. Neither did an anonymous third bidder who lives in Springfield, Ohio.
"We are at least fairly assured that Gates would have no difficulty commuting," said UNIT chairman Fredrikktsen. "The people at Microsoft are apparently developing a new version of Windows to make the trip -- something like 'Microsoft Wormhole.' "
Microsoft Wormhole will essentially be a matter-transporter, our source tells WWN. There are rumors the traveler would be digitally disassembled by a computer or cell-phone attachment, sent through Windows software and reconstituted at his destination.
"Developers will allegedly debug the program by going through the wormhole themselves," our insider explained. "So far, the worst that's happened is that an engineer somehow acquired another ear."
One feature in particular which our source thinks could be "the next big thing" is the compression utility which provides an instant five-pound weight loss per transport.
"We call it a super-'fast' program since it keeps you from eating," he chuckled. "It's better than exercise. Thanks to the passive nature of the Internet, we have a huge and 'spreading' community of potential users, if you get my drift."
"I hope Wormhole works as well as the Windows Millennium Edition," whined W. Smithers, who represented the bidder from Springfield. "If not, we have hounds that we'll send to pull him out."
The purchase also has political ramifications. Reporters who attended a recent press conference with President Bush asked him if he would ever consider visiting Mr. Gates in his new home. According to them, he said, "You bet. I've always dreamed of vacationing closer to the sun. And -- it's a red state, right?"
"Yes, sir," they replied patiently.
"Sure. It's the moon that's blue," they say the President went on. "Well, the democrats can have the moon," he said, gesturing toward his seat.
People who have bought homes know how exhausting the process can be. We asked our Microsoft source what Bill Gates thinks it would be like to buy an entire world.
"It would be rough, I can tell you that, though not quite as difficult as drawing up his prenup," the source explained. "Plus there's two moons which would have to be bought separately. If you stacked them up, the documents alone would reach his new planet from here.
"It's not simply a matter of buying land," he continued. "As Weekly World News has reported on numerous occasions, alien law is a real growth market. If microbes or amoeba are discovered on Mars their rights have to be preserved without reservations. Or rather, with reservations," he said with a wink, alluding to accommodations made for Native Americans.
Microsoft has also allegedly hired legal experts to draw up proprietary software licenses for the Red Planet. According to our man, "It will work like region codes on DVD players. If Wormhole users pick up any viruses on Mars they won't infect Earth hardware and vice versa."
When asked whether Gates plans to pick up a few more astral bodies when he's firmly entrenched on Mars, our wellinformed source stated, "The sky's the limit. He's got his eye on Pluto. Naturally, I guess he wants to build a dog house there."
Thought for the day :
"News is what a chap who doesn't care much about anything wants to read. And it's only news until he's read it. After that it's dead."
Evelyn Waugh
See you soon! Don't work to hard.
