Posted on 10/14/2005 10:20:29 AM PDT by add925
The good wife's guide
1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal(especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.
3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces(if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
8. Be happy to see him.
9. Greet him with a warm smile and shoe sincerity in your desire to please him.
10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first- remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
12. Your goal: Try to make sure your homeis a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
13. Dont greet him with complaints and problems.
14. Dont complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
17. Dont ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will alwaysexercise his will with fairness and truthfullness. You have no right to question him.
18. A good wife always knows her place.
I knew women were never ever supposed to see it, but I couldn't help myself (said with my best Clinton impersonation).
Sergeant Hulka: Soldier, I've noticed that you're always last.
John Winger: I'm pacing myself, Sergeant.
Indeed.
Not to mention the illegitimate birth rate, the abortion rate, the crime rate, the single parent rate, the adolescent suicide rate, the unemployment rate (fathers not having competing with women for jobs to sustain their families), the high school drop out rate, the rate of single income families who could affort a home, the rate of single income families who could survive on one income, etc, etc, etc.
ALL of which have some connection to the so called Femanist movement.
Ahhhhhh, but, you can't frame without studs. A play on words concerning 'studs' got it.
You got guts, I'll give you that. Better check with Salman Rushdie about how to lay low.
But how many of them can change the oil in their car or tune it up? lolol
bump for the houseslave
No, got it via email and other FReepers found it on the web at places like Indiana University's website (talk about irony in the land of Kinsey!).
A great old Tom T. Hall song - haven't heard it in years. Well, I know the "article" in question is just a clever parody, but back in the day when men worked in the office and women at home, many housewives really did try to help their husbands relax when they got home. When I get home, there's nothing better I like my wife to give me than cold Scotch and hot s..upper.
Just like your pop culture reference to "Culture Club" on one of your previous threads? I'm not sure if you are just having a bad day today, or are always so literal and have no sense of humor. Your previous posts (not on this thread) are relatively funny, so I am hoping just a bad day. BTW, who's "deadeye?"
My mom always said that when she was picking cotton alongside my dad as a newlywed, she WISHED someone would've "discriminated" against her and said "Women can't pick cotton. All women out of the field."
Good rehash! I like your version a lot better!
"A woman's place is in the House...and the Senate!"
Most of us probably wouldn't make very good housewives. The soap operas these days really suck!
My husband says this to me all the time, and it makes my toes curl, let me tell you. :~D
This isn't the 'last word.' I'll save another 'pop culture reference' from a twenty four year old movie for that honor.
Explained.
Yes, and I should add a 15.
15. If Ex-hubby has no money, sue any other guy you had relations with for child support for the children you had with Ex-hubby (on the sneaky grounds that anybody you had relations with is equally responsible for any babies you might have had along with way, no matter whether he is the father or not - after all, there is no such thing as a free lunch, so guys shouldn't be able to get away with getting any free tail from us girls!).
DA740
Oh yeah - he is a great guy... and meeting here does help to ensure that, even if one has to watch out for the cave-men still residing here ;~D.
"Tell your family that you and your husband are married to each other and not them, and to get off your @$$ about houses, IRAs, etc."
Nice try ;)
What? Wheres the part about the negligee and popping out of the cake?
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