LONG LIVE THE STEPFORD WIVES!!!!!!
Posted on 10/14/2005 10:20:29 AM PDT by add925
The good wife's guide
1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal(especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.
3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces(if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
8. Be happy to see him.
9. Greet him with a warm smile and shoe sincerity in your desire to please him.
10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first- remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
12. Your goal: Try to make sure your homeis a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
13. Dont greet him with complaints and problems.
14. Dont complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
17. Dont ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will alwaysexercise his will with fairness and truthfullness. You have no right to question him.
18. A good wife always knows her place.
"Nothing says I love you better than an unsolicited Lewinsky."
LOL ping.
LONG LIVE THE STEPFORD WIVES!!!!!!
I'll take issue with that statement. My daughter is a carpenter...and framer, roofer, electrician, tile layer, car mechanic, and anything else she puts her mind too. BTW she's getting married tomorrow...to a great 'man'. She's in college studying nursing. She'll be a pediatric surgical nurse when she's done. She's a fantastic cook to boot. To spend more time with her dad, she started going to work with him when she was 12 years old. She's always been a daddy's girl. Painting with a wide brush can prove you wrong.
Nope, didn't meet here on FR. But he introducted to to it.... Congrats on meeting your husband here! At least you have no doubt re: his political affiliation! (Not to mention, he MUST be a great guy!)
Well, yeah!
It is authentic. Every real man on this thread had a copy given to them in 8th grade Health Class.
Try not to confuse the women.
Watch out...I've always been a fan of the "Mustard Man".
Warren Oates was great in "Stripes", but he was even better in "The Wild Bunch" as one of the Tector (sp?) brothers.
Wow! Times have changed. I feel like I am going to get hit with a frying pan, listen to a lecture on the evils of degrading and objectifying women, sleep on the couch for a month and then be told how pathetic men just for reading this. LOL.
If you really want a woman like that I think you had better go to the Philippines, Indonesia, Russia etc. and be willing to live there. ;-)
And yes, I could always use a lesson in time management, but it would take away from my Freepin' time.
Wow, maybe I should stay home like T.Smith says I should... Apparently, not only could I could use some brushing up on my wifely-duty skills, but also my spelling and typing skills....
I'm not sure that's something I ever want to hear her say.
Unless we're talking about fetching the paper and cold beer.
You got this from Dr. Walter E. Williams's website, didn't you.
Let me guess -- you don't have a pearl necklace?
LOL. ;-)
I'll take issue with that statement.
It's a joke. Lesbians don't work well with studs. Ha ha. Get it?
SD
Good one, Gunny
go back and read his post more carefully. You apparently completely missed the joke.
· Have dinner ready. Be sure he has good, easy to follow directions to the quality restaurants that deliver curbside. This way when he arrives home he'll have exactly what he wants for dinner and it will be ready when he arrives and you get fed too. You can be a dear and call in the order. We know how he doesn't like to do that.
· Prepare yourself…a good cocktail will work.
· Be a little gay (we now know this means happy) The cocktail will relax you and you'll appear to be happy when he arrives
· Clear away clutter today this means turn the computer off and the tv on and kick stuff out of the way to make a straight path to the tv. That's all he'll notice.
· Gather up schoolbooks…dust over the tables. Clearing the table off is a nice touch for that special meal he's bringing home. Put everything on the chair you don't use or in the clothes dryer (be sure to empty onto the top of the dryer when you decide to use it).
· Over the cooler months…. turn the heat up a little and give him brandy in his coffee…after you've made yours. It's nice to share.
· Prepare the children. At least try to know where they are. Someone has to take out tonight's dinner containers. Minimise all noise…let them eat in their rooms.
· Be happy to see him.. This may take several cocktails.
· Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him….more cocktails.
· Listen to him. This should be getting easy now after several cocktails.
· Make the evening his. …never complain if he comes home late…try to understand his world of strain..blah blah blah It's already his; he's coming home with a great dinner and if he's late make sure he knows how to use the microwave to reheat; if he really comes home late and without dinner have your dinner delivered and eat without him (just be sure he pays for your dinner when he does get home). No need to try to understand his world of strain, you were out there all day too.
· Your goal: peace, order and tranquility…. Wouldn't we all like that? Keep the kids in their rooms, hire a cleaning service and those cocktails are making everything tranquil. If you meet these for yourself then he will be able to renew himself in body and soul too. If it works for you, it'll work for him.
· Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Now that you have eliminated your need to talk to him then peace and tranquility are still working. Just email him your complaints and problems and he can deal with them at work tomorrow.
· Don't complain if he's late for dinner (we've already gone over this) or even stays out all night. Hell, no, this is not "minor". If you come home then he'd better come home. If you have to deal with the kids and everything at home then he does too. If he continues staying out all night then just smile (keep him off guard) and let your lawyer take care of him! (This is 2005 ladies)
· Make him comfortable. Be sure to let him know where the remotes are. It may not work but you can tell the kids, dogs and cats that they are in his favorite chair (you tried) as you settle into your chair.
· Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. As the cocktails really kick in; toss his pillow to him, tell him to be sure he takes his shoes off at the door and your voice is already low, soothing and pleasant (alcohol can do that).
· Don't ask him questions about his actions…blah, blah, blah. Remember he is the master of the house ….You have no right to question him..more blah, blah. Welcome to the Millennium. You do not need to ask anything; that's what GPS, micro transmitters and hidden cams are for away from home. As for master of the house; how can you forget as he reminds you constantly. Smile sweetly and say "Yes dear" then go about your business.
· A good wife always knows her place. And, she will be the one to decide where that is. This is no missionary position society we are in anymore.
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