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Semi-News: Nagin Defends Use of 'Phantom Police'
AZCONSERVATIVE ^ | 30 Sep 2005 | John Semmens

Posted on 09/30/2005 8:35:12 PM PDT by John Semmens

Ray Nagin, mayor of New Orleans, lashed back at critics after the FBI discovered that up to 700 so-called members of the city police force simply did not exist. Funding for many of these officers was provided by the federal government.

"During the storm and aftermath we'd heard reports that hundreds of New Orleans police officers had deserted their post," said an FBI spokesman. "Further investigation indicates that these posts had never been manned and the funds supposedly paid in wages has disappeared."

"Sure we overstated the number of officers on the force," said Nagin. "We did this to deter crime."

As Nagin explained it, the phantom officers were used as a decoy to frighten would-be offenders. "Just as George Washington lit fake campfires to lull the British troops before his surprise attack at Princeton, we in New Orleans have employed a similar strategy."

The effectiveness of Nagin's alleged strategy is in doubt, though. New Orleans has one of the highest crime rates per capita in the nation.

As for what happened to the funds that were supposed to have paid police salaries, Nagin asserted that they were used to hire consultants and purchase computer software needed to sustain New Orleans' "virtual police force."

"The software had to be custom made," said Nagin. "It's not something you can buy at CompUSA. Software designers don't come cheap. Neither do the public relations experts who developed our media campaign."

The media campaign featured TV spots of various street people implying that they could be undercover cops. In one ad, an apparently toothless derelict looks into the camera and says "I be watchin' you. So, don't you go misbehavin'."

Unimpressed by Nagin's explanation, the FBI asserted it will continue its investigation.

(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: fabrication; itsajokefolks; nagin; neworleans; nopd; police; satire
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To: John Semmens

Idiot mayor elected by idiots.


61 posted on 09/30/2005 9:08:03 PM PDT by Enterprise (The modern Democrat Party - a toxic stew of mental illness, cultism, and organized crime.)
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To: John Semmens

This is appalling. Nagin and co. ought to go to jail.

I was relating this story to someone and was asked for a source.

Does anyone have a link to a mainstream/lamestream source?

Thanks.


62 posted on 09/30/2005 9:09:21 PM PDT by Looper
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To: John Semmens

This sounds as hollow as Marion Barry's "defense." The sheer hubris of these buffoons: even when they're caught red-handed, the response is "Never admit ANYthing!"


63 posted on 09/30/2005 9:09:34 PM PDT by IronJack
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To: VirginiaMom
I'm not sure the man would even know who George Washington was!

Apparently Nagin used to be an executive at a telecommunications company. He's probably not a complete idiot.

64 posted on 09/30/2005 9:10:29 PM PDT by wideminded
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To: SauronOfMordor
O.K....I "think" you're correct. But even though I might be wrong, Nagin is still an idiot.

My attitude is the same one that the left took not long ago with some documents involving date styles and fonts that just didn't jive for the time they were supposed to have been produced, with the equipment that supposively produced them.

Even so, thanks for pointing out that this is satire. :-)
65 posted on 09/30/2005 9:11:13 PM PDT by hiredhand (My kitty disappeared. NOT the rifle!)
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To: John Semmens

You just can't make this stuff up! LOL

VIRTUAL POLICE FORCE -- that's just great for the VIRTUAL CRIMINALS!


66 posted on 09/30/2005 9:11:55 PM PDT by NavySEAL F-16 (Proud to be a Reagan Republican)
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To: John Semmens

lmbo! Nicely done.

On a serious note, the GOP better note let this whole thing drop.


67 posted on 09/30/2005 9:12:15 PM PDT by FreedomPoster (Guns themselves are fairly robust; their chief enemies are rust and politicians) (NRA)
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To: John Semmens
Just as George Washington lit fake campfires to lull the British troops before his surprise attack at Princeton

They were not fake campfires, they were REAL campfires that were DECOYS.

These 700 cops were not decoys, they did not exist!!

So, the questions arises: Where is the money that funded these 700 ghost cops??

DeathoCrats: Stuck on Stupid!!

68 posted on 09/30/2005 9:14:03 PM PDT by technomage
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To: VirginiaMom; All
"Call me silly, but I cannot imagine Nagin coming up with this line. The man can barely put an intelligent sentence together, much less give this particular explanation. I'm not sure the man would even know who George Washington was!

At a news briefing today, I heard Nagin putting sentences together. It was something like :

Nagin:"We don't need a hand out, we need a hand in,..no wait, ..we need a hand up, not a hand down,..no wait...just a second...hand in, hand out..oh yeah !! You do the Hocus Pocus when gubmit cash comes round, THAT'S WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT !!"....

...or something VERY close ......

69 posted on 09/30/2005 9:15:02 PM PDT by musicman
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To: xrp
What's really funny is that this is a joke story. Amazing that some people fell for it.

It's amazing how believable it is! I'm sure this storm has opened a lot of eyes to what government dependency is like, and how bad the democrat agenda really is for people.

70 posted on 09/30/2005 9:15:55 PM PDT by concerned about politics ("Get thee behind me, Liberal.")
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To: John Semmens
New Orleans has one of the highest crime rates among the police department per capita in the nation.
71 posted on 09/30/2005 9:17:35 PM PDT by oyez
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To: John Semmens
This tidbit was erased from the NO police website but it still exists in Google's cache

Who got the $5,000. signing bonus per phantom cop?

72 posted on 09/30/2005 9:18:21 PM PDT by RGSpincich
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To: John Semmens

Where did the graft go? Have a hunch Hizonner knows.


73 posted on 09/30/2005 9:18:57 PM PDT by luvbach1 (Near the belly of the beast in San Diego)
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To: John Semmens; jan in Colorado; Dark Skies; Former Dodger; ariamne; AmericanArchConservative

Three-quarters true and a hundred percent funny, don't miss out on your LOL today.


74 posted on 09/30/2005 9:18:58 PM PDT by Fred Nerks (Understand islam understand evil - read THE LIFE OF MUHAMMAD free pdf see link My Page)
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To: hiredhand
As for what happened to the funds that were supposed to have paid police salaries, Nagin asserted that they were used to hire consultants and purchase computer software needed to sustain New Orleans' "virtual police force."

I thought the city of New Orleans was broke. If it wasn't befor it is now.

75 posted on 09/30/2005 9:19:26 PM PDT by oyez
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To: John Semmens

You know...i thought this man was
just merely incompetant, and that
most of the blame belonged on Blancos
and Landriiu's sholders anf they
corrupt families...But it sure looks
now like Nagin is up to his nose in
guilt as well.

If there is any justice to be had out of
ths travesty..Nagin will be spending many
many many years in jail.


76 posted on 09/30/2005 9:19:59 PM PDT by NickatNite2003
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To: Recovering Ex-hippie

"Sure we overstated the number of officers on the force," said Nagin."

Shop owner: Hey! I saw you take that! Arrest him officer!
(Thief looks around, sees nothing.)
Thief: What the "f" you talkin' about? Get down on the ground before I cap you!
Shop owner: Officer! Arrest him!
Thief: Who you talkin too?
Shop owner: That guy right there! (Points at an empty street corner)
Thief: (gets annoyed look in the face) Man, I'm eighty-sixing your a$$! (BOOOM!)
Shop owner: What..are we paying those guys....for...
Thief: Shut the "f" up. (grabs the cash and a pack of huggies.)


77 posted on 09/30/2005 9:21:32 PM PDT by Tulsa Ramjet (If not now, when?)
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To: Recovering Ex-hippie
WHAT THE F.....? When does this circus story end????

LOLOLOL!
78 posted on 09/30/2005 9:21:50 PM PDT by uncitizen
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To: Zeroisanumber
Man, this guy's going to jail.

Wanna bet? Saddly, I doubt it.

79 posted on 09/30/2005 9:22:48 PM PDT by Cobra64
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To: RGSpincich

Brilliant find! If it's ok to do so, (Mods?) I would like to post that here, it would be a shame to lose it forever.


Signing Bonus For Experienced Police Officers



Not Everyone Can Wear the Badge, Can YOU?

Salary and Benefits

The New Orleans Police Department is now accepting applications for employment!





$5,000 Signing Bonus For Experienced Police Officers
Mayor C. Ray Nagin, the Director of the Office of Homeland Security Terry Ebbert, the Superintendent of Police Edwin P. Compass III and the Executive Director of the New Orleans Police Foundation Robert Stellingworth announce a new initiative to recruit experienced police officers to join the New Orleans Police Department.

Effective immediately the New Orleans Police Department will offer a $5,000 signing bonus to the first fifty (50) P.O.S.T. Certified Patrol Officers who meet the required qualifications and are employed by the New Orleans Police Department.

Applicants must agree to employment with the N.O.P.D. for not less than three years. Applicants need not live in the City or State to apply, but must be domiciled within the City of New Orleans when employed.

For further details, interested individuals should contact:

New Orleans Police Department
Recruitment & Applicant Division
715 South Broad Street
Room 116
New Orleans, La. 70119
504-826-1575

or

New Orleans Police Foundation
Elodia Blanco, Recruiting Coordinator
400 Poydras St. Suite 1940
New Orleans, La. 70130
1-877-JOIN-NOPD (toll free) or
504-566-7404


80 posted on 09/30/2005 9:23:05 PM PDT by Fred Nerks (Understand islam understand evil - read THE LIFE OF MUHAMMAD free pdf see link My Page)
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