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Semi-News: Nagin Defends Use of 'Phantom Police'
AZCONSERVATIVE ^ | 30 Sep 2005 | John Semmens

Posted on 09/30/2005 8:35:12 PM PDT by John Semmens

Ray Nagin, mayor of New Orleans, lashed back at critics after the FBI discovered that up to 700 so-called members of the city police force simply did not exist. Funding for many of these officers was provided by the federal government.

"During the storm and aftermath we'd heard reports that hundreds of New Orleans police officers had deserted their post," said an FBI spokesman. "Further investigation indicates that these posts had never been manned and the funds supposedly paid in wages has disappeared."

"Sure we overstated the number of officers on the force," said Nagin. "We did this to deter crime."

As Nagin explained it, the phantom officers were used as a decoy to frighten would-be offenders. "Just as George Washington lit fake campfires to lull the British troops before his surprise attack at Princeton, we in New Orleans have employed a similar strategy."

The effectiveness of Nagin's alleged strategy is in doubt, though. New Orleans has one of the highest crime rates per capita in the nation.

As for what happened to the funds that were supposed to have paid police salaries, Nagin asserted that they were used to hire consultants and purchase computer software needed to sustain New Orleans' "virtual police force."

"The software had to be custom made," said Nagin. "It's not something you can buy at CompUSA. Software designers don't come cheap. Neither do the public relations experts who developed our media campaign."

The media campaign featured TV spots of various street people implying that they could be undercover cops. In one ad, an apparently toothless derelict looks into the camera and says "I be watchin' you. So, don't you go misbehavin'."

Unimpressed by Nagin's explanation, the FBI asserted it will continue its investigation.

(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: fabrication; itsajokefolks; nagin; neworleans; nopd; police; satire
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Comment #21 Removed by Moderator

To: John Semmens

At the VERY least, this is fraud.

If I take $x and say I'm going to spend it in some manner; then spend it in a different manner, I have defrauded the gov't. If I'm not mistaken, this is a felony any way you look at it.


22 posted on 09/30/2005 8:45:17 PM PDT by Hodar (With Rights, come Responsibilities. Don't assume one, without assuming the other.)
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To: John Semmens

Sorry to pop your bubble, Mayor Nagin, but we didn't just fall off a turnip truck this morning.

We are beginning to suspect that Katrina, washed your arrogant ass out of the NO sewers, though.


23 posted on 09/30/2005 8:45:30 PM PDT by F.J. Mitchell (Show me a liberal and I'll show you a head and a heart, designed for nothing but cracking walnuts.)
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To: John Semmens
As for what happened to the funds that were supposed to have paid police salaries, Nagin asserted that they were used to hire consultants and purchase computer software needed to sustain New Orleans' "virtual police force."...just a thought, Mr. Nagin, it would have been better to spend the money on hiring actual policemen, you imbecile.......
24 posted on 09/30/2005 8:45:48 PM PDT by Intolerant in NJ
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To: Deb
"Is this from the Onion?"

That was my first thought.

25 posted on 09/30/2005 8:45:49 PM PDT by Rokke
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To: Recovering Ex-hippie

A little over $24M a year is missing (700 * $35K). Expensive software.


26 posted on 09/30/2005 8:46:07 PM PDT by Ben Mugged
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To: John Semmens

You really need to tell people this is SATIRE.


27 posted on 09/30/2005 8:46:10 PM PDT by faq (Click on "faq" page to read "Things you may have forgotten about Iraq.")
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To: John Semmens

The dream police, they live inside of my head.
The dream police, they come to me in my bed.
The dream police, they’re coming to arrest me, oh no.

You know that talk is cheap, and those rumors ain’t nice.
And when I fall asleep I don’t think I’ll survive the night, the night.

’cause they’re waiting for me.
They’re looking for me.
Ev’ry single night they’re driving me insane.
Those men inside my brain.

The dream police, they live inside of my head.
(live inside of my head.)
The dream police, they come to me in my bed.
(come to me in my bed.)
The dream police, they’re coming to arrest me, oh no.


28 posted on 09/30/2005 8:46:39 PM PDT by TheForceOfOne (It was a village of idiots that raised Hillary to Senator status.)
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To: Recovering Ex-hippie

Alert, this is an "Onion" type piece. Settle down folks


29 posted on 09/30/2005 8:47:34 PM PDT by TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig (It's easier to save others than it is to save yourself.)
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To: John Semmens

"Sure we overstated the number of officers on the force," said Nagin. "We did this to deter crime."

As Nagin explained it, the phantom officers were used as a decoy to frighten would-be offenders. "Just as George Washington lit fake campfires to lull the British troops before his surprise attack at Princeton, we in New Orleans have employed a similar strategy."




SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS SATIRE!


30 posted on 09/30/2005 8:47:55 PM PDT by WOSG (http://freedomstruth.blogspot.com/)
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To: John Semmens
"Sure we overstated the number of officers on the force," said Nagin. "We did this to deter crime."

Well, time to move on to plan B... So Clinton's 100,000 (imaginary) cops on the street was a big scare tactic?

31 posted on 09/30/2005 8:48:15 PM PDT by operation clinton cleanup
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To: John Semmens
Can you spell F-R-A-U-D

Misappropriation of Federal funds

I see jail in quite a few N.O. people's furture

32 posted on 09/30/2005 8:48:32 PM PDT by Rocketman
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To: Rokke
Rokke wrote: "Is this from the Onion?" That was my first thought.

I don't think this is legitimate, I can't find any corroboration anywhere else.

There are rumors of ghost payrollers on the NOLA police dept., but so fay nothing concrete.

33 posted on 09/30/2005 8:49:23 PM PDT by quidnunc (Omnis Gaul delenda est)
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To: John Semmens

Oh, brother!


34 posted on 09/30/2005 8:49:43 PM PDT by RobbyS ( CHIRHO)
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To: faq
no joke....

(Okay, I mean "no kidding" but I hope the satire in MY statement is obvious)
35 posted on 09/30/2005 8:49:52 PM PDT by tongue-tied
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To: John Semmens

What's really funny is that this is a joke story. Amazing that some people fell for it.


36 posted on 09/30/2005 8:50:00 PM PDT by xrp (The Republican Party appeal to conservatives: "We suck less than Democrats!")
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To: faq

How do we differentiate between satire and reality in this melodrama??


37 posted on 09/30/2005 8:50:44 PM PDT by F.J. Mitchell (Show me a liberal and I'll show you a head and a heart, designed for nothing but cracking walnuts.)
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To: John Semmens

As Nagin explained it, the phantom officers were used as a decoy to frighten would-be offenders. "Just as George Washington lit fake campfires to lull the British troops before his surprise attack at Princeton, we in New Orleans have employed a similar strategy."


Call me silly, but I cannot imagine Nagin coming up with this line. The man can barely put an intelligent sentence together, much less give this particular explanation. I'm not sure the man would even know who George Washington was!


38 posted on 09/30/2005 8:50:44 PM PDT by VirginiaMom (abortion is NEVER an option!)
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To: John Semmens
And this Nagin idiot is going to be in charge of dispersing how many billions funded by us hard working tax payers............I don't think so!
39 posted on 09/30/2005 8:50:56 PM PDT by Bush gal in LA
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To: EagleUSA

It's Bush's fault. < /sarcasm >


40 posted on 09/30/2005 8:51:08 PM PDT by weegee (The lesson from New Orleans? Smart Growth kills. You can't evacuate dense populations easily.)
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