Dispelling a myth of dangerous Navy dolphins

MSNBC ^ | Sept. 27, 2005 | Keith Olbermann

[avg_freeper]

On Monday, the British newspaper "The Observer" quoted an accident investigator who claimed that three dozen U.S. military dolphins, supposedly trained in secret near Lake Pontchartrain, had been washed away by Hurricane Katrina.

...

OLBERMANN: Make sure I'm right on this one point here, that dolphins could not actually fire poison dart guns, even if they are wearing them, even if they are loose, because they don't have hands. Am I right about this so far?

SOLANGI: No, I think that's science fiction. And these animals are trained. It's common knowledge, to look for underwater mines and divers. But I think darts and all that is a little bit too far.

...

[avg_freeper]

Just thought I'd post this update to the wild dolphin stories we read earlier. Hurricanes make people silly.

[Frank_Discussion]

I heard they had Frikken Lazer Beams (tm) on their heads...

[avg_freeper]

"I heard they had Frikken Lazer Beams (tm) on their heads... "

That's spoken to in the excerpted article.

[coconutt2000]

Somehow I think these people were like this before the hurricane. ;-)

[Frank_Discussion]

lol... I'll have to read it all then!

[Wiseghy]

Perfect story for Olberman. I expect he'll spend the next 3 weeks on it, and have Flipper on as a special consultant.

[cripplecreek]

I had a lot of trouble believing that the dolphins would be left wearing the alleged harnesses with a hurricane bearing down on the place.

[Andonius_99]

apparently, they left a note before taking off that said:

"So long, and thanks for all the fish."

[Safetgiver]

Suuure, dolphins. I have it on good source it is a bunch of Lassies in a Charley the Tuna suit.

[SittinYonder]

Olberman is jumping the gun again, so to speak. This morning, on my way to work, I was attacked by hurricane ravaged dolphins with dart guns. They were shooting at everybody on the road. One of them was wearing a turban and the other had a long beard.

I think these dolphins might have been jihadists who infiltrated the US Navy

[cripplecreek]

I for one welcome our new aquatic overlords.

[Redcitizen]

Brought to you by the committee to save the humans

[avg_freeper]

"I think these dolphins might have been jihadists who infiltrated the US Navy "

Jihadists on rye bread with some mayonnaise.

[Hatteras]

Did this guy actually take that story seriesly enough to investigate it?!

[csvset]

Exclusive picture of an insurgent dolphin relaying a demand of a ransom one million fish be paid or the dolphins threaten to attack the poor and minorities in New Orleans.

Presidential advisor Karl Rove* considers the dolphin's demand as a legitimate threat.

* Editor's note: Vice President Dick Cheney owns a considerable interest in the fishing fleet that would be used to collect and distribute the ransom.

[Energizer45678]

Sounds like a cousin of "LAND-SHARK" to me.

[ravingnutter]

Has Louis Fara-con accused them of blowing up the levees yet?

[munin]

You are likely right, I used to watch Olberman, it amused me, but I got tired of stupid smarta$$

[munin]

You are likely right, I used to watch Olberman, it amused me, but I got tired of stupid smarta$$

[brownsfan]

"I heard they had Frikken Lazer Beams (tm) on their heads."

Fire balls from their eyes and bolts of lightening from their arse.