Ohhhh, wait . . . . . 
Posted on 09/28/2005 10:34:26 AM PDT by Millee
For Ben Affleck, the closest role he's had to senator so far was his part as CIA agent Jack Ryan in Tom Clancy's spy thriller "The Sum of all Fears."
But the Washington Post reports some want Affleck to say goodbye to the Hollywood Hills and hello to Capital Hill as the Democratic senator from Virginia.
Post columnist Amy Argetsinger says Virginia Democrats are desperately seeking a big name to take on rising Republican star Sen. George Allen next year.
"They need someone who is smart and photogenic and has a lot of his own money to subsidize a campaign. It just so happens that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have been looking for real estate in Charlottesville," Argetsinger tells CBS affiliate WUSA.
University of Virginia professor Larry Sabato tells the Post the Affleck speculation is "spread pretty widely, at least in the political underground."
Democratic Gov. Mark Warner, who at one point had been mentioned as a potential Senate candidate but is now seen as a possible 2008 presidential contender, says he welcomes the Afflecks as new residents, but won't say much more.
"If he moves to Virginia and wants to get involved politically, he has a major name but that's not somebody I think there's an active recruitment going on with," says Warner.
Affleck has never held public office but was prominent at last year's Democratic National Convention. And he certainly wouldn't be the first actor to turn to politics. President Reagan and Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger have both made that same career move.
Affleck's spokesman Ken Sunshine says there's no truth to the rumors, but says Affleck "would be a superb candidate for public office in the future. Right now, he's very busy directing his first feature movie for Disney, 'Gone, Baby, Gone.'"
THE WRECK OF BEN AFFLECK AND J. LO
Parody of Gordon Lightfoot's "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion
Performed by Robert Lund
Download MP3 (5.8 MB)
The legend lives on from Ulysses on down
Of the queen who launched ships with her beauty
Fair Helen has gone; modern Trojans now long
For Ms. Jennifer Lopez’s booty
‘Cause baby got bling, acts and dances and sings
She’s a street-fashion overachievah
She claims to our shock she’s still Jen from the block
But any putz knows she’s a diva
Along come two pals from obscurity’s bowels
(Near Boston.) They’re young and they’re Catholic
One’s cute and tough, one can act and write stuff
And the other one’s name is Ben Affleck
Well, B & J meet when they buy the same street
And Ben says “Me leave Matt. You pretty.”
So Jen says “Smart choice, but I’m true to my boys
Like ol’ Whatsisname Judd and P. Diddy.”
But B-Aff, it seems, ghetto-punks Cris Judd’s dreams
By stealing the girl of his fancy
Her name was Magill and she called herself Lil
But everyone knew her as Nancy
(Oops – Accidentally detoured into the wrong song. Where were we?)
Their agents smell gold and the twosome gets sold
As “news” for the tabloids to feed on
They say “It’s great press if you’ve met on the set
So let’s find you a set you can meet on
“The film we suggest is directed by Brest
(I swear there is no pun intended)
He’s nearly bounced back from the failed Meet Joe Black
And with Gigli his cred will be mended.”
The couple signs on but things start to go wrong
When they bitch, The Brest says “Beg your pardon -
Your fans blow their bucks even when the film sucks
(Which describes every movie you’ve starred in).”
Production’s complete though the buzz can’t compete
With Extra's First Couple in action
It’s finally released - yes they unleash the beast
And then brace for the public’s reaction…
Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When a film turns the minutes to hours?
The critics agreed they’d prefer just to bleed
Or to get two thumbs WAY up their bowels
Meanwhile, Ben’s proposed, but they’re overexposed
Say their agents, “It’s best if you lay low.”
When they forge right ahead, there’s no wedding, instead
Comes the wreck of Ben Affleck and J. Lo
Some blame the mess on the strip clubs or press
Or the betting or booze or Ben’s mother
But most are so sick of the pair that they stick
To the hope the pair’s poisoned each other
Oh somewhere below Lake Ontario
Are the cities and homes where they grew up
And Matt Damon’s still where Ben hunts for goodwill
(But admits he left Gigli and threw up)
So Bennifer’s gone but they each will move on
To a new-improved trophy fiancé
But Ben won’t rank near People's Man of the Year
And for babes, the press flocks to Beyonce
Oh the legend lives on from the Trojans on down
Of the queen with the bod and the halo
And they’d all shed a tear (and yell PLEASE END THIS HERE)
For the wreck
Of Ben Affleck
And J. Lo
© Spaff.com 2003+
Like it? Hate it? Say so.
Ohhhh, wait . . . . .
Assflick as a Senator... right. I get sick of these Hollywood types playing politics. He needs focus on making B movies and worry about running for office when he's 50.
Too funny! Thanks for the cackle....
Oh Ben, you are so perfect, so spectacularrr in every way
You bring light into my life, Ben. You almost make me forget all about...
Tacos! Oh, tacos, so good in my tummy yummy yummy give me more.
I love you, Ben. You almost make me forget about...
Tacos......
How's "SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS"?
Hee hee!
Maybe we can look forward to the Edwards/Affleck ticket in 08.
Has he voted in an election yet?
The base are enervated!!!!
John Warner was once married to Elizabeth Taylor.
I hear (heard) that Ben is a whore and a drunk, should be easy to get DIRT on this guy....
I have never heard the words 'smart' and 'Ben Affleck' used in the same sentence before. I can picture Allen using the scenes from "Team America' in his ads. This is the funniest thing I have read so far this week.
Couldn't happen to a more worthy %#^$%@@.
" ......it just so happens that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have been looking for real estate in Charlottesville......"
This is so..like.. PERFECT! Like it was meant to be, you know?
Right on target!
This seems like a pretty pathetic way for the Dems to highlight the fact that they have NO ONE to run against George Allen.
The Afflecks? Does he mean Ben Affleck and Matt Damon?
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