Posted on 09/27/2005 6:28:45 AM PDT by ElCapusto
We hear a lot of talk these days about the need to protect and strengthen the traditional American family. Certainly, it is true that the institution of marriage is under attack from every side. But the real threat comes from the multitudes of couples that fail to honor their marriage vows. Adultery is one of the most terrible “facts of life” in contemporary America. If you watch the daily soap operas on TV – many of which are just soft-core pornography – you might get the impression that there are more people cheating on their spouses than remaining faithful. And you might be right.
How many people have affairs? That’s hard to say because not everybody will answer honestly. But sex therapist Peggy Vaughan, author of “The Monogamy Myth,” conservatively estimates that about 60 percent of married men and 40 percent of married women will have an affair at some time during their marriage. Maggie Scarf, author of “Intimate Partners,” basically agrees.
Since these books were written more than a decade ago, and since more women are leaving the home and entering the workforce, the number of wives having affairs may also have reached the 60 percent range.
Americans have a schizophrenic attitude toward adultery. While 90 percent admit that adultery is morally wrong, according to a Time-CNN poll, 50 percent say that President Bill Clinton’s morals are “about the same as the average married man.” While 35 percent think that adultery should be a crime, 61 percent think it shouldn’t.
Having an affair simply doesn’t carry the social stigma that it once did. According to “Playboy” magazine, 2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men have sexual thoughts about their coworkers, and about the same number follow through on those libidinous impulses.
Why do husbands and wives cheat on their spouses? Psychologists cite subjective issues like loss of love and feelings of alienation. Certainly the media pressure of our sex-saturated society is a significant influence. But a major factor is the easy availability of cheap and plentiful Internet pornography.
Statistics show that 25 percent of all Internet search engine requests are related to pornography. According to the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, “approximately 40 million people in the United States are sexually involved with the Internet.” And while 76 percent of women feel that phone sex or cyber-sex is the equivalent of committing adultery, only 41 percent of men do.
Dr. Alvin Cooper and MSNBC.com conducted an online poll of 38,000 people, and 10 percent admitted that they were addicted to Internet pornography. What’s more, a lot of those Internet sex addicts eventually progress from cyber-sex to real-time sexual affairs.
Some legal professionals estimate that as many as one-third of all divorces may have their roots in Internet porn or online affairs. “If there’s dissatisfaction in the existing relationship, the Internet is an easy way for people to scratch the itch,” explains J. Lindsey Short, Jr., president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.
The pain and suffering caused by adultery is immense, especially for children. They are more likely never to marry, or to later divorce, if they had divorced or cheating parents. After a divorce, many children are unable ever to develop strong, trusting relationships.
There is a direct correlation between the steady decline of morals and values in America and this more accepting contemporary attitude toward adultery. Part of the reason is because most people have forgotten what a marriage really is.
Marriage is more than just a legal status recognized by the state, or even a temporary social contract between two people. True marriage is a solemn covenant relationship between a man, a woman and God. It is a hallowed institution that should be revered, cherished, and preserved.
The act of adultery is childish and selfish, and it hurts everyone involved. It violates at least two of the Ten Commandments: the clear prohibitions against committing adultery and coveting your neighbor’s spouse.
If we care about the future of our great nation, we as a people must relearn the virtue and necessity of staying committed to the spouses to whom we are married.
I believe in choice...Hubby can stay in the 40% faithful category, or he can become a death statistic, it's all up to him.
later maybe ping...
Care to hazard a guess as to why this is the case? Could it be because a person cannot be compelled to testify against his/her lawfully wedded spouse in court?
Could it be that,for at least one of them,the "marriage" hadn't yet outlived its "usefulness" to him/her? Can you say "New Hampshire,January 2008"?
Ronald Reagan was already divorced from Jane Wyman when he met Nancy. He did not have an affair with her. Word is, Jane Wyman had fallen in love with another man, although Ronald Reagan was always too much a gentleman to blame the divorce on her.
Get your facts straight!
If we want adultery to stop, married couples need to have ample sex with each other. If sex is not happening in the marriage then the other goes out and looks for satisfaction. It is a basic need of a human to have sex. I know many women who stop having sex with their husbands as soom as they have the number of children they wanted and then want to know why the husband cheats.
I missed it a week ago.
The emphasis placed on getting one's frequent orgasm separates the horny ones from the parents who keep their childrens' best interests at heart. Once the children are brought into the world these "adults" have to realize that a debt has to be paid to those offspring that overcomes multiple and frequent orgasms.
The KGB knew that once these (Red) star-crossed lovers were united (irrespective of the fact that one was a practicing lesbian)they would work in concert to gain control of the United States of America.
People died, were raped and blackmailed into giving these marxists what they needed to succeed in their mission.
Ronald Reagan outspent the USSR and caused the (temporary) dissolution of their evil empire, but the Clinton contract was picked up by the Chinese Communists and the rest....is history.
Thanks to the simpletons from Arkansas and to the imbeciles who vote for socialists in the national elections....and thanks to the New Yarkansans for redirecting the Dragon Lady back towards the White House and may God help the USA!
The natural consequences of such behaviour ought to be enough for most folks.
You must be one of those who believe sex stops after children and the parents relationship withers on the vine huh?
What other level can you have? Adultery is adultery. Trying to get publicity for one's actions isn't new either.
A testable hypothesis. If this is the case, there should be a very strong correlation between the rate of adultery and the rate of internet use for every segment of the population.
Does anyone out there really expect that to be the case?
Hmmm...many good Christians would disagree with you...depending on your meaning of the word "debt" used in your response.
Although the article isn't exactly about TV or intenet and its affect on humans, both your posts were really inciteful.
May I add to the debate by arguing that mass literacy and newspapers had a similar affect in the previous century.
The results were then always superceded by a different medium. First in the 16th century books. In he 19th century newspapers, in the early 20th century radio, in the mid-20th TV in the late 20th internet.
Each medium opened up new world's and fostered in (violent) revolutions. With the Islamist movement, we have our violence sparked by the internet.
What is even more interesting is that the internet is evolving from a newspaper like medium into a TV-like medium as connections get faster. Should be interesting to see how this affects things as almost everyone has broadband and telephony becomes free.
Next, it will be psychic/telepathic communications....
Proper rearing of one's children is something that God would naturallly expect.
I would question how good those Christians are that would disagree with me.
Nothing new here.
These are essentially the same percentages in every survey since the '50s at least.
So9
The spouses actually also have a 'debt' and a 'contract' in the marriage agreement to provide for each others needs, one of which is sexual (at least for me it is).
Also see.. 1 Cor 7:4-5 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
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