America is a big blue bucket of meat

The Star ^ | 9/25/5 | Michael Bowers

[SmithL]

I like Portillo's as much as the next guy. An Italian beef sandwich, dipped in juice until it has drowned, is a great way to break up the work day.

But it also can be a costly habit. If you order out four days a week, that's $150 a month, easy. Enough to pay ComEd and Comcast both.

Therefore, I've been fine-tuning my bachelor's guide to feeding yourself. I call it the Big Blue Bucket of Meat Method. It cuts my lunch cost to about $2 a day, instead of $6.

Of course, to save money, you have to spend it. My initial capital investment was $400 or more. First, you need a small freezer. I got one at Sam's Club for less than $175.

Then you have to lay in a large supply of Rubbermaid Servin' Saver Plus microwave bowls. I prefer the 1.1-quart size, shallow and round. The Servin' Saver is key. You can't have the Big Blue Bucket of Meat without the Servin' Saver.

Meatbucket Day starts with a drive to Sam's Club on Harlem Avenue in Tinley Park. You need to bring along the $400 that you have been saving up for the past few months by not eating out. Then you head to the meat department. What a joy. Great big roasts; thick, garlicky tenderloins; family packs of hamburgers; mega-packs of chicken breasts … you just can't go wrong.

Now haul your meat home and start cooking. I divide my roasts into two 20-quart stock pots. Cover them with soup and put them on low. Come back six or eight hours later. There ya go! The meat is so tender that it crumbles in your hands.

Other cuts must be baked. Here, cooking is a more exact science. This where the meat thermometer comes in. Buy a basic cookbook and find the temperature that indicates the meat is done. This requires a little more skill than the stovetop meat. But, fellow guys, I figured it out, so you can too.

Now, with your meat all cooked, the Big Blue Bucket enters the picture. Last time I had so much meat that I had to wash out one of my Rubbermaid laundry baskets for temporary storage. I nearly filled it to the brim. I was mightily proud. A Big Blue Bucket of Meat — this is exactly what I had been working all day to create. I weighed it for the record (94 pounds) and photographed it for posterity.

But soon enough, the afterglow fades, and you must get back to work. You must divide your meat into the Servin' Savers. Then you place each Servin' Saver in a plastic bag in order to save your meat from freezer burn.

Finally, of course, everything is stacked into the freezer. There ya go — again! You've got a great big pile of meat, and nobody can take that away from you. You might be broke for the next three months, or your car might break down or your cat might die. But as long as the power stays on, at least you know you won't go hungry.

Family and friends are usually both amused and distressed when I show them my meat photo. "Gross!" they say. "Are those body parts in there?" Well of course they are — chicken body parts, pig body parts and cow body parts.

I don't understand why they should be taken aback. For instance, when Mom cooks up a 9-pound roast for the whole family, everyone goes "yum" and reaches for the fork. So if 9 pounds of meat is mouth-watering, why is 90 pounds disturbing?

Secretly, I know they're jealous. One of my colleagues in particular razzed me all morning about my meat bucket. But at the end of a long day, she sighed deeply and said: "God, I'm tired. And now I have to go home and feed three children. I wish I had a Big Blue Bucket of Meat."

I hope she makes one. I'll be happy to share my recipe. That's a key difference between Republicans and Democrats, you see. Fifteen months ago, Hillary Clinton told rich San Franciscans:

"Many of you are well enough off that ... the tax cuts may have helped you. We're saying that for America to get back on track, we're probably going to cut that short and not give it to you. We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."

In other words, if you're a Republican, you want everyone to have a Big Blue Bucket of Meat. You encourage self-reliance and a strong economy. You know the way to help Americans is to cut taxes, not increase them.

Democrats simply cannot grasp this. They just want to hunt down the people who already have a bucket of meat and take it away from them. They think this is the way to make America prosperous. It's not. It's the way to make America weak.

Michael Bowers is a copy editor and page designer for The Star. Send e-mail to mbowers@starnewspapers.com.

[Beagle8U]

Whats wrong with saving the $400 and just going deer hunting?

Where I live(southern Michigan) you can shoot all the deer you want for $10 each.( unlimited antler-less tags for private land).
Except for the low fat content, you can't tell it from beef in this area, where they eat mostly farm crops.

The average deer will yield 50#, or more, of boneless meat. Any country boy can kill,cut,wrap, and freeze 5 in a day for less than $100.

I'll take the red(state)bucket of meat any day.

[toddlintown]

"$150 a month, easy. Enough to pay ComEd and Comcast both."

...if you're living a single room apartment with one 60 watt bulb hanging from the ceiling, no broadband access and the basic cable package.

I've had my air on the entire summer and ComEd hits me up for $195 a month. My Comcast (please, no "get Dish" comments) total bill for the superduper digital cable package and broadband cost $150 a month.

Can't see how you can live southwest of Chicago (where the Star is), and pay $150 a month for Comcast and ComEd.

[freedumb2003]

"America is a big blue bucket of meat

hey! I resemble that remark.

It's a Cookbook!!

[DugwayDuke]

"Just about every Sunday (except in summer when we grill outdoors),..."

You can still do this in the summer. Go to Sam's, buy a bunch of brats, ribs, steaks, hamburger, etc., Load up the grill with charcoal and spend a couple hours grilling everything. Put it into freezer bags. Mix it up a bit, a meal of ribs, a steak or two, some brats, and a few hamburgers in a gallon bag. Put a couple in the fridge and the rest in the freezer. When you empty one of the fridge bags, take one out of the freezer. Works fine for us. I even grill a couple of weekends a month during the winter.

[Nathan Zachary]

Turkey is cheap and practical. We used to do the same thing, at least every second week.

As far as this article goes, We just buy bulk meats like chicken breats, the whole pork loin (cut), 40 lbs of hamburgers, and whatever is on sale bulk, and freeze it.

There are different ways of cooking things so I couldn't imagine cooking it all at once and having the same thing over and over again.

Then of course there is our hunting efforts which get cut up and frozen, so with ducks, geese, deer, elk and moose there is no shortage of meat around here, just a shortage of freezer space. Three freezers are just not enough sometimes.

[Nathan Zachary]

".if you're living a single room apartment with one 60 watt bulb hanging from the ceiling, no broadband access and the basic cable package."

LoL! You're right of course. Save money, use those 12 watt florescent bulbs.

[shezza]

...if you're a Republican, you want everyone to have a Big Blue Bucket of Meat...
Democrats simply cannot grasp this. They just want to hunt down the people who already have a bucket of meat and take it away from them.

Mmmmmm, meat. (BBBOM=Good analogy.)

[MarkL]

Meat - its what real carnivores and omnivores eat.

Salad - It's what food eats!

Mark

[Nathan Zachary]

That should work in a slow cooker too, no? That's usually my favorite countertop device for when I want a meal ready when I get home. Just set it on low, set the timer and go to work.

[expatguy]

mmmmmmm meat

An American Expat in Southeast Asia

[PGalt]

I stand corrected. Thanks for the clarification. :)

[ChildOfThe60s]

When I was [young &] single, I cooked nearly everything with leftovers in mind.

I never ate lunch out (except on the infrequent day I was to hung over too make my lunch in the morning, which was rare because I was so cheap). Some of my coworkers spent more on lunch each week than my entire weekly food budget. Of course, when I got out of college I was somewhat tired of tuna salad and egg salad and iced tea.

Every night now, I make dinner for 3 people, and the third plate my wife takes to work for her lunch the next day. Her coworkers are envious of her lunches.

The point of this whole thread is to illustrate that a lot of "food" money can be saved by using some planning and not succumbing to eating out when you're tired.

[Atlas Sneezed]

From a mom's point of view . .where is the big blue bucket of vegetables?

---

Where I live, we can buy the vegetables already frozen. For the blue bucket effect, just toss the bags of frozen veggies into a blue bucket.

[Venerable Bede]

Same thing... the 'Low' setting on a slow cooker is about 200 degrees. The 'High' setting is about 300.

[Cyber Liberty]

But as long as the power stays on, at least you know you won't go hungry.

I have one word for you: Canning.

[Nathan Zachary]

It depends on where you live. Canning makes more sense if you are living in the city in a apartment complex where things like generators can't be run, and might not be allowed. (storing gas would be an issue) A freezer would stay frozen for a couple days without power, and if the climate is cold enough you can put in on the balcony in the winter.

Plus, canned meat just isn't that great. I don't think this article was about how to survive a disaster, but more about how to save money on your food bill assuming everything else is normal.

[CARDINALRULES]

Sounds good.

Yesterday I spent the morning using my food sealer to bag up about 6 lbs of pork steaks, about 12-14 lbs of pork loin that I cut up, and about 10 lbs of hamburger.

Most went into the freezer, except the 2 lbs of hamburger I sealed in a container and put in the fridge.

I cooked one of the ends of the loin yesterday in the small crockpot with some dried minced garlic, some onion powder and a small onion. Very good, don't know if it will last until tomorrow for dinner. ;-`)

[Cyber Liberty]

The article was more an ant/grasshopper story vs. Repulican/Democrat comparison, but OK.

[PeteB570]

Oh man, one of the best things I ever had was pickled Dove breasts. A friend of mine bagged his limit and gave them to his wife. She cleaned them and pickled them in small jars.

One night after a few beers we raided her pantry. We knocked off about half her stash along with a bag of pretzels. She pretended to be mad but we all ended up laughing about it because she caught us red handed and with chins dripping.

[etcetera]

Been there, done that. What you can't overcome is boredom. What's for dinner? More meat stuff from the freezer. But tonight I feel like Chinese...