Posted on 09/22/2005 5:48:16 PM PDT by wagglebee
We hear a lot of talk these days about the need to protect and strengthen the traditional American family. Certainly, it is true that the institution of marriage is under attack from every side. But the real threat comes from the multitudes of couples that fail to honor their marriage vows.
Adultery is one of the most terrible "facts of life" in contemporary America. If you watch the daily soap operas on TV many of which are just soft-core pornography you might get the impression that there are more people cheating on their spouses than remaining faithful. And you might be right.
How many people have affairs? That's hard to say because not everybody will answer honestly. But sex therapist Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth conservatively estimates that about 60 percent of married men and 40 percent of married women will have an affair at some time during their marriage. Maggie Scarf, author of Intimate Partners basically agrees.
Since these books were written more than a decade ago, and since more women are leaving the home and entering the workforce, the number of wives having affairs may also have reached the 60 percent range.
Americans have a schizophrenic attitude toward adultery.
While 90 percent admit that adultery is morally wrong, according to a Time-CNN poll, 50 percent say that President Bill Clinton's morals are "about the same as the average married man." While 35 percent think that adultery should be a crime, 61 percent think it shouldn't.
Having an affair simply doesn't carry the social stigma that it once did.
According to Playboy magazine, 2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men have sexual thoughts about their coworkers, and about the same number follow through on those libidinous impulses.
Why do husbands and wives cheat on their spouses? Psychologists cite subjective issues like loss of love and feelings of alienation. Certainly the media pressure of our sex-saturated society is a significant influence.
But a major factor is the easy availability of cheap and plentiful Internet pornography.
Statistics show that 25 percent of all Internet search engine requests are related to pornography.
According to the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, "approximately 40 million people in the United States are sexually involved with the Internet." And while 76 percent of women feel that phone sex or cyber-sex is the equivalent of committing adultery, only 41 percent of men do.
Dr. Alvin Cooper and MSNBC.com conducted an online poll of 38,000 people, and 10 percent admitted that they were addicted to Internet pornography.
What's more, a lot of those Internet sex addicts eventually progress from cyber-sex to real-time sexual affairs.
Some legal professionals estimate that as many as one-third of all divorces may have their roots in Internet porn or online affairs. "If there's dissatisfaction in the existing relationship, the Internet is an easy way for people to scratch the itch," explains J. Lindsey Short, Jr., president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.
The pain and suffering caused by adultery is immense, especially for children. They are more likely never to marry, or to later divorce, if they had divorced or cheating parents. After a divorce, many children are unable ever to develop strong, trusting relationships.
There is a direct correlation between the steady decline of morals and values in America and this more accepting contemporary attitude toward adultery. Part of the reason is because most people have forgotten what a marriage really is.
Marriage is more than just a legal status recognized by the state, or even a temporary social contract between two people.
True marriage is a solemn covenant relationship between a man, a woman and God. It is a hallowed institution that should be revered, cherished, and preserved.
The act of adultery is childish and selfish, and it hurts everyone involved.
It violates at least two of the Ten Commandments: the clear prohibitions against committing adultery and coveting your neighbor's spouse.
If we care about the future of our great nation, we as a people must relearn the virtue and necessity of staying committed to the spouses to whom we are married.
Speak for yourself :~D
I'm not sad :~D
In your head, you aren't.
Excuse me?
bump
There is not a biblical reason to go against one's own vow and marry another while our spouse is alive.
You vow "Until death do us part" not "Until divorce do us part".
I'm sorry, but you are still married in the eyes of God until your spouse dies.
And if I were the adulterer? What then? I am now forgiven...but life is often more complicated than can be easily explained.
With tv shows like Desperate Housewives and the influence of pop culture on our lives, people go with pop culture instead of adhering to sound values. Big mistake.
I disagree. God doesn't punish the faithful partner in a marriage just because sins. There is biblical cause for divorce and its adultry.
There's repentance and forgiveness and acceptance. I say marry again.
You, sir, are hanging around the wrong men.
I had (note the past tense) a friend who cheated on his wife. The urge to leap across the table and throttle him as he (tried to) justify cheating on his wife was nearly overwhelming. He proved himself untrustworthy in his marriage, and (what a coincidence) went on to commit fraud in his business and (other) personal dealings, too. He lost his marriage, his business, and his friends, because he believed his cheating ways were all justified. He's defaulted on loans, forged signatures, and occasionally "appropriated" unattended money. He's fathered an illegitimate child. He pawned his wedding ring (how symbolic is that?). And he has told me that he doesn't need to repent of anything. No one will loan money to my friend to bail him out of his troubles (and those that have were never repaid). Everyone has seen, first-hand, that he's untrustworthy, in every meaning of that word. He has no friends, except those who see him as a charity case.
Conversely, I know a man who talked a married friend out of "having a fling" with a willing old flame. The friend now credits this man with saving his marriage, and the two have maintained strong friendships and marriages in the years that followed (and their credit scores are sky-high). Bottom line is that they trust each other, and they are trustworthy.
There's a reason married men (ought to) wear wedding rings. They serve as reminders of a solemn vow we took facing a beautiful woman, that we would always honor that woman by being faithful to her. Men who break their vows are more than adulterers - they are liars and thieves as well.
Mathew 5:27-28
27
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.'
28
But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
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Perhaps it's better to lose a glossy paged photo album than our families and Eternal Life.
Time for us to stop reading soft porn magazines (Maxim, FHM, Stuff for Men, Esquire, GQ...anything that brings on lust).
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29
If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one of your members than to have your whole body thrown into Gehenna.
30
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one of your members than to have your whole body go into Gehenna.
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Yep, I'll have to agree with Jesus...It's much better to trash the trashy mags than fry in Hell.
Clinton's adultery is the least of what bothered me. Hell, I practically understood that, given what he was (is) married to. It was his treason, hypocracy, and treachery that was particularly objectionable and impeachable.
You don't understand. I am not against divorce nor do I believe there is a complete prohibition against it in the Bible.
However, without a doubt, there is no excuse for your adultery when you have sex with someone else while your vowed spouse is still alive, even if he or she left you in a divorce.
Your spouse cannot make you break your vow to God. But you can do that when you have sex with another.
The vow was already broken.
I think that is the source of the disagreement. If your vowed spouse divorces you, they are not a vowed spouse any more, even if they live another 100 years. Your new spouse is your vowed spouse, and having sex with them is not adultery.
I don't disagree with a word you wrote. Yet men will be men just as much as boys will be boys. It has nothing to do with the people I know. If an attractive woman turns on to a guy, his buddies will root him on. Maybe it's just a little ribbing and it's probably not entirely serious, but it does happen.
I think it is very self-reflexive: people will be a bit easier on their own sex when it comes to these matters. That's not to say they will endorse the bad behavior. It is to say that in many cases, the dynamic is as I described it.
That is impossible.
Your own vow to God is only broken when you go against your vow. However, your spouse's vow to you and to God is broken when he or she has sex with another.
Again, you vowed "Until death". That means "Until death". So you are still right before God if you stay single or reconcile without having had sex with another after your spouse cheated on you.
I disagree. The vow was broken.
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