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To: HairOfTheDog
When two people get married, the Number One reason should be the other person. With a 23 year old single mother, the Number One reason could be easily be and very often is: ***"Now I have financial security for my child." ***"Now I can quit my job to stay home with my child." ***"I can't do this by myself any longer. I need help." ***"My child needs a father." The man is no longer a person but a child-raising tool..........Polybius

Those factors don't enter into any relationship as soon as children are born? Your simple and unencumbered young couple will soon also find that they are together because they both love and need each other. ..............HairOfTheDog

Exactly. The "young unencumbered couple" came together because they "LOVED EACH OTHER". "Each other" and "love" is what brought them together.........

.........Not the desire to have the financial ability to quit a job to stay home with an already existing child....Not a desire for the future financial security for an already existing child....Not a desire for help raising an already existing child.........

They came together because of "EACH OTHER".

Congratulations to the woman from your office. You never know, could be her husband is happy too.

Congratulations for declaring outright that she was bound and determined to marry a man ( who she had not even met yet!) within one year before she turned 30 and get pregnant a few months after that?

Congratulations for forcing the issue to fit her arbitrary timetable with a man she had just met over the Internet, who lived 100 miles away and who could only see her two days on weekends for a few months before she pressured him into giving her an engagement ring?

Congratulations for getting her stay-at-home Mom role within the totally arbitrary and rushed deadlines she set for herself and then not even bothering to mention her husband in phone conversation with her former co-workers?

Imagine how that courtship went:

Charlie: " I think I love you, Jane. But we have known each other only four months and it's too soon to get engaged. I think we should know each other better before we make a lifelong commitment."

Jane: "Sorry, Charlie. I have a one year self-imposed deadline to meet and that won't cut it. You just made me waste 4 months out of that year and now I only have 8 months left. You're outta here! Excuse, me, I have to call someone. Hello, Joe, this is Jane the one you asked out 3 months ago....Yeah, well guess what? My boyfriend and I just split up and I would love to go out with you to that place you told me about. Excuse me, for a moment.......So, Charlie? Why are you still here? I'm talking to my hopefully future husband here. Hit the road! "

That sure sounds like a "young couple that are together because they both love and need each other".

Oh, yeah. That sure sounds like True Love.

157 posted on 09/18/2005 11:45:44 AM PDT by Polybius
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To: Polybius
Any man who believes that once a woman has a child she can no longer honestly love a man, or be loved by one, because there is a child, should never get married. Whether the encumberance comes at the beginning, or interrupts them a few months later, is not the point.

RE your coworker: Imagine how that courtship went:

I imagine it was quite different than you assume.... Unless you think the man who fell in love with her was just a stupid victim, like you have assumed all men who suffer women. Don't make so many assumptions about the hearts of others. So she talked about the baby to former coworkers.... would you rather she talked about the great sex that made it happen?

I met my husband 'over the internet', right her on FReeRepublic as a sheer coincidence.

He lived 1400 miles away, and we only got to date in person a week before he decided to go home and pack. Of course, we knew each other quite well before we ever met. I assume this coworker of yours knows all about that. But you don't. ;~D

158 posted on 09/18/2005 11:57:53 AM PDT by HairOfTheDog (Join the Hobbit Hole Troop Support - http://freeper.the-hobbit-hole.net/)
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To: MrNatural
This thread is going downhill too fast for me; think I'll go reread the " Woman in power is powerless when it comes to meeting men" thread. Much more interesting; full of posts by men and women really trying to understand the "other side's" reality. And make some sense out of what's happened to us all.
160 posted on 09/18/2005 12:03:29 PM PDT by MrNatural ("...You want the truth!?...")
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