Woman in power is powerless when it comes to meeting men

http://www.mcall.com/ ^ | September 17, 2005 | Amy Alkon

[teldon30]

Dear Amy: I'd like to be in a relationship again, but I never even get asked out (unless you count frisky 85-year-olds and drunks at the corner bar). I'm a 32-year-old woman who's happy, sociable, and attractive. (I paid for college by modeling and continue to take care of myself.) I'm second-in-command at a big company, financially secure, and own a beautiful home. How can I meet men in general, and more specifically, men I'd actually want to date?

Deluxe Chopped Liver

Dear Deluxe: To scare away vampires, it takes garlic and crosses, which make ugly bulges in sleek, satin evening bags. Luckily, all you have to do to scare away men is pull out a business card that says ''senior vice president.''

''Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac,'' said Henry Kissinger. Sure it is — unless you're a woman. Research by Stephanie L. Brown and Brian P. Lewis, published in Evolution and Human Behavior (Nov. '04), seems to confirm what many lonely women at the top already know: When guys go for the woman in the boardroom, it isn't the woman running the meeting but the secretary who wheeled in the coffee and croissants before it started.

Sure, plenty of men will scamper up the corporate ladder for a one-night stand. But, according to Brown and Lewis' study, men looking for dates or relationships tend to prefer their subordinates to their colleagues or bosses. The researchers hypothesize that men evolved to want women they can control as a means of guarding against ''parental uncertainty'' — unwittingly raising kids fathered by the Neanderthal next door as their own. Brown and Lewis think this may also explain why men are suckers for ''behavioral expressions of vulnerability'' — women who act like they might not be able to make it across the street

[Schwaeky]

you can say that again.. My 83 Cutlass has to have the windows rolled down to open the doors from the outside, need a paintjob and new interior.. but there are very Cutlasses built from 81-87 that can touch it. Got about $2000 in the engine alone (73 455 Rocket), built up an overdrive transmission with a shift kit, and got heavy duty handling modifications. In all I probably got about $5000 in it and it still needs painting, but I guarantee that nothing out there short of a ZO6 Vette or any bona fide sports car (read not a ricer) with NOS can touch it..

[Utilizer]

Thank YOU. You have My undying respect and gratitude for your (totally uncommon) perception.

[Utilizer]

No, sometimes we are attracted to more mature women because the ones our age are so, well, 'immature'. In other words, looking to be the School Queen by dating the Head Quarterback and of course being the Prom Queen as well. Us 'normal' mates were not even on the playing field as far as they were concerned. I fancied the one I did because she was so levelheaded and played NO games at all -unlike the mob of teenyboppers that I was forced to interact with on a daily basis...

[Utilizer]

How true. As one who has lost His beloved many years past, I can only affirm that there are indeed only moments when you just have to step back and understand that it is finally time...

[Utilizer]

LOL!!! EXACTLY!!! You understand totally, mate! Remember: "Chrome won't get ya Home!" Thanks for the validation, bro!

[ArmyTeach]

OM'G_D

[HitmanLV]

I see what you are saying, but you have to realize that you are very uncommon. our thumnail sketch of the prom queen etc isn't very meaningful, nor is it very accurate, for women much older than 22 or 23. That's not exactly the dynamic going on with them: I think you are being too tough on them, or maybe unsure how to handle them. In fact, once you know how to handle them, they are perfectly fine and wonderful companions, clearly beating out older models with more years under their belts to build storehouses of baggage.

I wouldn't suggest that most (or even many) older women are that much more "mature" and play "NO games at all," as you say. I can't see how anyone can live in the USA in 2005 and have any legitimate basis for saying that.

I know many women in their 30s. 40s, and older who are unmarried (either always single or divorced). They aren't notably more mature when it comes to relationships than women in their late 20s. It's all comparable, though that's not to say it's all the same.

The fact is, the games the 24 year old might be playing is probably a bit different tnan the games a 44 year old might be playing, but that's not to say they aren't both playing games.

In my experience, anyone who says that a single woman (either never married or divorced) in her 40s is notably mature and uniquely not into playing games hasn't actually met many real women in their 40s. The same is true for women in their mid 30s or so. While some exist, the trend of single, manless, and aggressively looking women is not becoming notably more 'mature' as they grow older. Not at all.

[Utilizer]

Actively avoiding professional/accomplished women is working for me.

You and Me both, mate. Those career-at-all-costs b@11-breakers are just too unconcerned, combative, and uncaring of anything other than their position over others for My taste.

[HitmanLV]

Only barely related, this reminds me of a very funny episode in my past that even women within earshot laughed at heartily. I know a very sexually inexperienced mid 20s male who is a nice guy, but no game at all and no stones to speak of.

His plan was to find a mature women in her 40s - fit, attractive, vivacious, and single. His hope was that her patient, loving, and tender hand would introduce him to the world of carnal pleasures with a woman. He reasoned that such a woman would be of unique maturity, wholly comfortable with her sexuality enough to lovingly, patiently, and generously teach him the art of lovemaking.

All I could say, after listening for a couple of minutes, was "Hey, you've never actually met a woman in her 40s, have you?" EVERYONE (man, woman, young, old) in earshot busted a gut laughing.

To this day, he has gone nowhere towards making his initiation into manhood a reality. It's a dumb plan, in any event. :-)

[Utilizer]

I hear you, mate, but you misunderstand Me. My experiences with 'older women' are from almost three decades ago. The quality of the pool has indeed declined significantly since then, but I will always cherish in My heart what gifts I received when I was in My uncertain formative years.

Just had to add that sometimes experience is the greatest aphrodisiac of all... and bubble-brained bimbo is not the be-all and end-all that many appear to think.

[Utilizer]

Lol. But that is only an observation that the more experienced of us are truly understanding of. I am not surprised that He tended to have a glorified perception of a particular type of woman. *grin* On the other hand, I can think of one or two women that would have just wrung 'is washer from the getgo if he had met them, lol...

[HitmanLV]

LV really does have the hottest chicks around. LA is a close second. The entire states of Texas & Florida tie for third! :-)

LV-LA-TX-FL women also are friendlier than their NE counterparts that I grew up with.

PS - I have a theory regarding good genetics and women in Las Vegas. When LV was making its reputation with casinos and resorts, many of the better looking women from around the USA (with no starlet ambitions) came over, reasoning that they were wasting their times in small towns waiting tables, etc, where they could instead come to LV, be their hot natural selves, and benefit more from bigger tippers and in general more cash floating around than back home.

The difference was between being tipped a quarter back home, and being tipped $5 by a tipsy conventioneer who likes her legs a lot.

Secondarily, they figured when it came time to settle down, they could find a relatively decent (emphasis on relatively guy with some good money from the casino/hotel business to build a nest with.

So they all became Las Vegans: there was a migration of good looking women bringing their stellar DNA to the valley. They had children and their children naturally benefited from their Mom's good looks. Some of their daughters left, while others stayed in town and followed their mom's example: why spend $100k on college, lots of studying and work, plus dealing with the crap that comes from working in a fancy career, when they could just slap on a toga at the tender age of 20, serve drinks, smile, and get tipped big bucks? After 8-10 years, settle down and have kids - check out of the workworld, which is what most want anyway.

We are now a good 5 decades into the process, and any causal walk in any part of town reveals that good, healthy, sexy DNA has become dominant in the women of Sin City.

Works for me. :-)

[HitmanLV]

Hey friend, I lost the nuance that your experiences were from several decades ago. I am sorry. That does change everything and your thoughts are much more meaningful to me.

I see where you are coming now more clearly. And no, I'm not an apologist for bubble-brained bimbos. Well, actuially I am! Haha! But seriously, the overall pool of quality in women has dropped dramatically. I can only speculate that women feel the same way about men.

If you are ever in my hometown of Sin City, drop me a Freepmail! Tghe ginger ale is on me! :-)

[HitmanLV]

Yea, he really set me up with his buildup. Truly, there was no other punchline I could think of that captured the moment as well, I think! ;-)

[Utilizer]

!!! ...Got MY attention, lol!

[Utilizer]

How about; if you smile at him and he seems genuinely pleased and smiles in return (especially if he looks down bashfully and does not meet your gaze) he is interested -but if he gives you a wicked 'grin' from the get-go with a direct gaze and looks like he might want to chew upon your pinky a bit you have a right to be nervous...

Just My two cents...

[Utilizer]

That gives Me hope for the future, lol...

[Utilizer]

I envy you totally. The vast majority of women I have met in My four decades of life have with depressingly few exeptions proven to be nothing more than Revenue Addicts.

May you two have a long and happy partnership...

[Utilizer]

You are the wind beneath My wings...

[GiovannaNicoletta]

I meant marriage when I said commitment, but I should have been more specific. After all, "commitment" can mean all sorts of things to different people.

I aggree 100% with the rest of your post. So many things our great-grandparents knew, that we have rejected or forgotten, that made a society civilized and ordered.

It's a terrible shame, the state we're in.