Posted on 09/17/2005 6:59:48 AM PDT by teldon30
Dear Amy: I'd like to be in a relationship again, but I never even get asked out (unless you count frisky 85-year-olds and drunks at the corner bar). I'm a 32-year-old woman who's happy, sociable, and attractive. (I paid for college by modeling and continue to take care of myself.) I'm second-in-command at a big company, financially secure, and own a beautiful home. How can I meet men in general, and more specifically, men I'd actually want to date?
Deluxe Chopped Liver
Dear Deluxe: To scare away vampires, it takes garlic and crosses, which make ugly bulges in sleek, satin evening bags. Luckily, all you have to do to scare away men is pull out a business card that says ''senior vice president.''
''Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac,'' said Henry Kissinger. Sure it is unless you're a woman. Research by Stephanie L. Brown and Brian P. Lewis, published in Evolution and Human Behavior (Nov. '04), seems to confirm what many lonely women at the top already know: When guys go for the woman in the boardroom, it isn't the woman running the meeting but the secretary who wheeled in the coffee and croissants before it started.
Sure, plenty of men will scamper up the corporate ladder for a one-night stand. But, according to Brown and Lewis' study, men looking for dates or relationships tend to prefer their subordinates to their colleagues or bosses. The researchers hypothesize that men evolved to want women they can control as a means of guarding against ''parental uncertainty'' unwittingly raising kids fathered by the Neanderthal next door as their own. Brown and Lewis think this may also explain why men are suckers for ''behavioral expressions of vulnerability'' women who act like they might not be able to make it across the street
(Excerpt) Read more at mcall.com ...
If women have the "right to choose", men should also. Upon formal notification that he's about to become a father, an unmarried man should be able to make a decision as to whether he will support the child, having at least a few weeks to think about it. The woman can make her own decision from there. (Marriage would be considered an explicit "yes" decision)
And no man would be forced to pay support for a child not biologically his, except if he formally accepts the child in full knowledge he's not the biological father
Thanks for your understanding.
Well, I appreciate the reference; however I am no longer tied up in the workplace where My previous experiences have occurred. I am now working on My own potential startup (to be sold at the earliest opportunity) and trying out My meagre skills as a Writer as well.
grand solution for any guy: keep your zipper up until you are married.
Men of real quality don't want weak or overly dependent women. However, they don't want to feel inferior, either.
This probably excludes within-the-office romance between
a high-ranking woman and a lower-ranking man. But the high-ranking woman need not act high-ranking outside of work and those she works with.
The article is basically correct, in other words, but the solution isn't hard to figure out.
All good points, but there is no incentive for women to support them, as we males are guaranteed cash cows for them with the current status quo. And that is AFTER they take a look at your paycheck!
Been there and done it. That's how it has to work.
"I am recently released from the hospital as well where they inform Me they almost lost Me on the table."
Glad you made it through. Probably gave you a greater appreciation of each day.
again, there would be no problem if the guy exercised self-control. He made the choice to have sex with a woman to whom he wasn't married, knowing the risks. If he kept his zipper up until he was married, there would be no problem.
Agreed.
Qualifying a prospective mate by looks, for example, is evolutionary shorthand for genetic quality and health.
What appears beautiful to us is that which reflects performance, so it is not superficial.
Humans are bidpedal: hence buttock muscles and structure are very important.
And hence the sexual interest of both sexes in buttocks.
Broad shoulders in a man help him to wield weapons, hence a woman's attraction for broad shoulders.
Long legs in a woman help her to flee danger.
Hence the attraction for long legs.
However our inborn conceptions of beauty can be modified by other inborn tendencies and by experience.
One such inborn tendency is to want what others want, as such a mate would likely generate offspring that would be wanted in turn, thereby helping to pass your genes along.
An example of choice modified by experience would be the association of a certain physical appearance with a painful memory.
Despite what subversives tell us, men and women are different, and so men and women place different emphasis on looks and other things.
For example, a woman's interest in a man may not have to do with his genetic contribution, as she may be interested in him primarily as a protector and provider for her existing offspring or of those she hopes to have by the handsome milkman or married millionaire boyfriend--
And so she will be less interested in her husband's looks and more interested in his wallet and/or social standing.
This all gets complex, and so I'll leave futher discussion for another day.
Sounds like hard times, partner; glad you made it ..
Still pretty weak and in a lot of pain. My girlfriend helps a lot but really all she can do is support Me as much as she can. What with her studio taking up a lot of time I am spending a lot of time in turn in front of the computer, but she should be home soon and hopefully not too tired to make dinner. We can always order a pizza, of course, but she says she likes to cook for Me and I can not stand up for very long. I did not choose to place this burden upon her but I am thankful that she is so uncomplaining and supportive. Can't wait until I can get back to cooking for HER, however. Lol. Not all the time, in fact we both tend to prefer premade meals or easily conconcted ones, but I would like to thank her for everything and there are a couple of specialized dishes that she says she loves. Both of our families are from out of the area so it is nice to have someone there that can be relied upon.
Thank you.
Sounds like hard times, partner; glad you made it ..
by the way, if you can get your doctor to prescribe oxycontin / oxycodone for the pain, do so, it is a super pain-killer. I used it for about half a year.
Your girlfriend sounds like a keeper--a real angel.
Yes, she is quite a sweetheart. She does pretty good for herself with her photo and graphic design studio and designing some websites for some fairly well-known rock bands. Seems to have her head on her shoulders. Kids are grown up now so there is time for both of us, but we are not making any definite plans yet until we have spent more time getting to know each other, and this sudden illness has not helped there. We can survive on what I bring in, but she really seems to like the business she is in now and seems contented with the direction it is going. Plus, we never got into financial discussions from the outset. She is much more intuitive than I am although she does admit that I still surprise her from time to time, but she tells Me always that My mind is what most fascinates her, lol. I am merely taking things one day at a time for now, as I tire quite easily and the doctors insist that I do not exert Myself for some time yet.
No worries, mate.
Exactly what I was thinking the other afternoon in the subway. "Boy, if me and her are ever walking in the woods and a bear pops out from behind a tree, that girl is going to run FAST. Smack my broad weapon-bearing shoulders if I don't get her number...."
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