Posted on 09/16/2005 5:14:37 PM PDT by Crackingham
Women should have a family first - before they are 35 - and leave their career until later, a group of leading doctors said yesterday. The obstetricians and gynaecologists said the increasing number of women delaying having children were defying nature and risking heartbreak. Writing in the British Medical Journal, they recommended that if women wanted families and a career, they should have children earlier, and called for more support for younger mothers. Women's groups voiced caution over putting a deadline on childbirth but agreed on the need for more support.
Susan Bewley, consultant obstetrician at St Thomas' Hospital in London, said the doctors were motivated by the number of older women they saw experiencing problems in childbirth. She said: "It is us in the clinic who see the heartbreak, and we cannot help these people when they are running out of time. That is what motivated me to write [the report] and ask the authorities what can be done to help women to do it at a time that suits them."
In Scotland the most common age for giving birth is now 30 to 34. There has also been a steady rise in the proportion of mothers aged 35-plus, from 6 per cent in 1976 to 18.8 per cent last year.
But Dr Bewley said the optimum age to have a child remained between the ages of 20 and 35. She said: "Each woman finds her own solution but we cannot kid ourselves having children at 35 is easy. It is not. It goes wrong for lots of people."
The strongly worded editorial, co-authored by Melanie Davies, a consultant obstetrician from University College hospital, and Peter Braude, head of the department of women's health at St Thomas', pointed out age-related fertility problems increased after the age of 35, and dramatically so after 40.
The editorial claimed employers and health planners were to blame for encouraging women to delay motherhood to focus on careers and financial stability. It called for government and companies to make it easier for women to choose to have children at a younger age, and said: "Free choices cannot be made with partial knowledge, economic disadvantage for mothers, and unsupportive workplaces.
"Doctors and healthcare planners need to grasp this threat to public health and support women to achieve biologically optimal childbearing."
The experts listed a number of complications linked to later motherhood, including pre-eclampsia and increased risk of miscarriage and ectopic pregnancies.
They also said that older fathers had decreased fertility, while children of older men had an increased risk of schizophrenia and several genetic disorders.
They wrote: "Women want to 'have it all' but biology is unchanged, deferring defies nature and risks heartbreak. If women want room for manoeuvre they are unwise to wait till their thirties."
Dr Bewley added: "You cannot suddenly emerge at 45 and say, 'Now I want children'. I appreciate we want it all and some will get it. But there is a window for reproduction where there isn't for work."
Perhaps your friend, her parents, and her husband, the pervert, didn't think that she was a victim, but she was. Any girl, married at 14, today, is a victim; whose life went from childhood, to quasi adulthood in a blink. No matter how "mature" that girl was at 14, by marrying that young, she lost years of maturing without the burdens of responsibility, that she'll never be able to regain. And no, at 14, she was not making an "informed" choice.
Actually, I've only seen a tiny bit of one Jerry Springer show, because after years of it being talked about, I wanted to see, for myself, what it was like. But I'm NOT surprised that it is your favorite show. :-)
DO YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO MARRY AT 15 ? IF NOT, WHY NOT? ARE YOUR CHILDREN BETTER THAN OTHER PEOPLE'S; OR ARE YOU JUST A HYPOCRITE?
Um...I suspect he himself would like to marry a 15 yr. old. That's what this is really about, IMO.
Something's definitely wrong with the two who have promoted early teen marriages on this thread, but I'm staying mum, on what I think that is. :-)
Congratulations! There's a family in my parish like yours and when they came to church a couple of weeks ago, I heard somebody behind me say that she wished she had had her kids like that. Aside from that, they're very cute because they are so close in age and they look like kind of a little school of quail when they come in. The other good thing is that brothers and sisters who are close in age will often stay close throughout their lives. I have friends whose (2) kids are 7 or 8 years apart, and it's like two different families.
Yup, pet-o-feelya by any other name, still stinks.
Well many grandparents are raising there children's kids today and doing a far better job than the parents.
My sister is a teacher and she sees how selfish younger parents are rather than older parents. Older parents now a days make much better parents and role models.
Beaver Cleaver's mothers is long gone...
Personally seeing many young women entering prestige universities, developing there careers are refreshing. Now a days people are living much longer they take care of themselves eat right, excercise and have options in marrying the *right* man who will be good and decent husbands and fathers.
I know many women over 35 who have had healthy children, stable relationships and careers.
So true -- they're there for the children, instead of expecting the kids to gratify them.
Exactly!
Women and Men both need college educations and to mature seek employment and develop a stable relationship with each other before they bring kids into the equation.
The most well balanced, intelligent kids I ever met throughout my life came from mature, grounded parents, not necessarily young at all.
Welcome to FR. So glad for your posts on this thread.
Why 25? many people of that age are still in college, living with there parents because they do not have a decent paying job where they can live on there own, many are starting careers, paying off student loans, since people are living well into there eighties and nineties what is the rush?
Thanks! :)
Yes I was reading many of these posts and was suprised to read so many encouraging such young people having kids...
I also know some well adjusted decent adults raised by older parents...
No dis-respect intended but how can you not have any energy in you're 30's or 40's? I have more energy in my late 40's than I had in my 20's my mother is 73 with the energy level of a 30 year old. I can see if you are out of shape and you do not eat right or have a medical condition, otherwise energy can last well into you're golden years.
This has worked for you and that is wonderful, but as a person who has worked with battered women who have no careers no families the help with there small children we have given them options by helping them realize they can stand on there own 2 feet have a career and be responsible mothers.
Many of thede women had wished they had waited to have children because that is the only reason they stayed in bad and abusive marraiges.
Children do well when they are in stable households and women need to have a career because if the day comes where there husbands leave or become physically or emotionally abusive carry on with other women or loose there job or die, the mother needs to know how to stand on her own 2 feet without government assistance.
Women loose there looks at 30???????????
What era do you live in? Women now a days look better than ever and are in better shape physically and mentally than they have ever been....
deep down, that a family is just a better value than a career.
It is if you have the right spouse on you're side, that is the tricky part now a days for people.
Well there's your problem right there - what on earth is a 25 year old still doing living with his/her parents? Did the parents not raise the kid up to be responsible and independent such that he/she could live on their own? Go back a few generations - how many kids at age 25 were still living with their parents? My father and mother had 11 siblings between them - and everyone of them was out of the house and on their own by age 16 for the boys and until they were married for the girls (and all were married by 20). In my family, every single one of us were out of the house and on our own as soon as high school was over - and 6 out of 9 of us have university degrees (with no financial contributions from the parents either I might add). It seems that every year, the age by which we expect 'children' to attain the mantel of adulthood is getting bigger - sheesh, I know a couple in their 70s who have all three of their 30 something kids with them. What can one say except that the parents did a crappy job of bringing their kids up? And if the kids don't ever learn to be independent, what does that do to the generation after that? It's just more of the case where children are raising children - except in this case the children are in their 30s. And don't the parents deserve a break away from the kids that they raised up so that they can go on with their lives and do lots of things together while they are still young and full of energy?
Well let's see, you're right out of college, you have student loans an apartment is well over a 1000.00 a month, food, gas utilities, clothing, how much do you think this 25 year old is going to make? even if he starts out as a fresh faced lawyer, it is not like it was 20 or 30 years ago it is expensive and the chances of people at that age buying a home is Zero.
BTW: Living in Califronia I can tell you that unless you have a great paying job 2 person income you will never own a home in this state unless you're folks help you out.
Granted, the world is mostly populated by 'mistakes'....but there are many of us who sincerely wanted kids.....
Every generation a little smarter, healthier, better off. We were very fortunate in that respect. Of course we gave them all the head start we could afford, which was not much monetarily, but educated them as much as they wanted. First born, quit college, became aircraft mechanic..LOVED his job. Daughter hated school, crammed 4 yrs into 3 for college. The last one, PhD in math and makes more than Mom n Dad ever did during their working lives..NOW, bout the disapointments.....still waiting on grandkids...maybe my kids have your attitude?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.