"COME AND GET ME, EXXON !!"
Posted on 09/15/2005 2:35:09 PM PDT by Redcitizen
BERLIN (Reuters) - A German inventor said he has developed a method to produce crude oil products from waste that he believes can be an answer to the soaring costs of fuel, but denied a German newspaper story implying he also used dead cats.
Christian Koch, an inventor and patent holder of the "KDV 500" that he said produces high quality fuel, said he can transform waste products such as paper, rubbish and plastic materials into fuel.
But Koch, 55, said there was no truth to stories published in Bild newspaper Tuesday and Wednesday that suggested he used dead cats as part of the mix for his organic diesel fuel.
"I use paper, plastics, textiles and rubbish," Koch told Reuters.
"It's an alternative fuel that is friendly for the environment. But it's complete nonsense to suggest dead cats. I've never used cats and would never think of that. At most the odd toad may have jumped in."
Bild Tuesday wrote a headline: "German inventor can turn cats into fuel -- for a tank he needs 20 cats." The paper on Wednesday followed up with a story entitled: "Can you really make fuel out of cats?"
A spokesman for Bild told Reuters the story was meant to show that cat remains could "in theory" be used to make fuel with Koch's patented method.
The author of the story said Koch had never told him directly that he had used dead cats as the story implied.
The website of Koch's firm, "Alphakat GmbH," says his patented "KDV 500" machine can produce what he calls the "bio-diesel" fuel at about 23 euro cents (30 cents) a liter, which is about one-fifth the price at petrol stations now.
"I drive my normal diesel-powered car with this mixture," Koch is quoted saying in Bild, next to a large picture of a kitten. "I have gone 170,000 km (106,000 miles) without a problem."
"My car gets around 20 MPC."
Is this highway cattage, or city cattage?
On a good day, I get one CPM--two if I swerve onto the sidewalk.
"On a good day, I get one CPM--two if I swerve onto the sidewalk."
Cat guzzler.
The mileage is worse in the city since the owners are required to keep pets on a leash or indoors.
Nam Vet
...thought you might enjoy this one...
I really do like cats, but these are very funny
City cattage. While it's true there is more "stop and go" in the city, the city cats are much fatter.
They changed from Esso to Exxon so they could get the double cross even into their name!
And I always thought cats were'nt good for ANYTHING.
"the city cats are much fatter."
Premium cat.
Well he must be racist, because Ophelia didn't hit the WHITE people nearly as bad as Katrina hit the black people.
I gave up on cats for fuel. My fuel injectors keep clogging with hair balls.
Mixing in some toy poodles gives more bounce to the ounce.
"I gave up on cats for fuel. My fuel injectors keep clogging with hair balls."
Decimon suggests you try toy poodles instead. MPTP will be greatly improved as compared to MPC. And, they don't shed, so your fuel injectors stay clean.
"COME AND GET ME, EXXON !!"
How hard is it and do you have to wear heavy gloves to get the live ones into the tank?
These are questions that must be asked.
Yes, you get better traction because of the four paws.
Cats are high mileage b/c of the 9 lives
It doesn't waste cats beacuse they are really good at scratching.
No you do not have to wear heavy gloves because there is more than one way to skin a cat.
If you take his original (non-working) URL and take off the front part, so that it starts at "www.ooze.com/..." it will work. HOWEVER be aware that that page is NSFW (Not Safe For Work) and has links to what appears to be porn.
That said, it's pretty funny.
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