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Screwtape Returns: Taking Jesus Back From the Republicans
Renew America ^ | 08/21/2005 | Adam Graham

Posted on 08/22/2005 11:32:16 AM PDT by Keyes2000mt

Author's Note: The following is a continuation of a series I wrote from May, 2003-November, 2004. More information is available at http://www.adamsweb.us/screwtape.html. The first 22 Screwtape Reports, along with 10 never before published reports will be released in book form shortly.

From: Dave Screwtape

To: Democratic Members of Congress, Liberal Clergy, Opinion Leaders, and Activists

Subject: The Right Picture of Jesus

As I returned from an extended vacation, I was deluged with letters asking how we mitigate the Republican advantage with Christian voters. I think the solution is simple. As other Democrats have said, "We must take God back from the Republicans." There is only one way to do that, and it is through Jesus Christ.

Christian Conservatives rarely talk about Christ in their public speeches, they talk about "God" or providence or "The Lord." The reason for that they wish to be inclusive of all Americans who have any belief in God. That, and the fact that if they even end a prayer "in the name of Jesus" our allies in the press will go ballistic.

What we must do is borrow that phrase from the tacky bracelet, "What Would Jesus Do?" and use it to death. By saying, Jesus would do something often enough, you'll convince enough Christians of the fact. Here are some examples.

"Jesus wouldn't launch a war for oil against the Iraqi people. Jesus wouldn't have appointed Alberto Gonzalez Attorney General. Jesus would spend more government money on the poor. Jesus would want everyone to have free health care. Jesus wouldn't back a Constitutional Amendment banning Flag Burning."

Now, we can do this with a variety of issues, but we all have to paint a good picture of Jesus. Jesus was a tolerant, loving, nice guy who cared about poor people. With that understanding, we can make any arguments we want that fits that picture and Christians will listen.

Thus, we can shift Christian concern away from issues like abortion and gay marriage to issues such as reducing poverty through government programs and more money for schools, because that is what Jesus would want.

There are several things must be avoided, particularly by the clergy. The most important thing is to not actually paint a full picture of the life of Jesus in your sermons and liturgies. Use scriptures that emphasize those statements most favorable to our vision of Christ or avoid using scripture altogether. Study books about the historical Jesus written by liberal scholars, not the Bible itself.

The Bible paints a very different picture of Jesus. The Jesus of the Bible is complex, unpredictable, and surprising. In dealing with the issues of his day, he was not a liberal or a conservative, nor did he just try and straddle the fence. He said what he believed and inflamed both the right wing Pharisees and the left wing Sadducees. He talked of forgiveness and mercy, but his first word as a preacher was "Repent."

In a beautiful scene he saved the woman caught in the act of adultery and then made a very harsh intolerant demand on her by saying, "Go and sin no more." The Bible also has Christ saying He is the only way to Heaven, which would put New Jerusalem in violation of Federal Civil Rights laws for religious discrimination in a public accommodation. For these reasons, keep as far from the Biblical account of Christ's life as possible. Remember two quotes of Christ from scripture and that will suffice. "Judge Not" and "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone." Be certain not to quote these in context.

The other thing to be careful of is that you properly assign the commands of scripture. Moral commandments against no-fault divorce, or the ten commandments are strictly for Christian religious people who believe in them. Commands to take care of the poor are not for the church, but rather for Federal Welfare agencies and their bureaucrats. The original biblical context of the command doesn't matter, whether it was spoke to Christians or to civil society, they must be assigned in such an order as to suit our agenda.

If we can convince the great mass of Christians to adopt our vision of Christ as a first century touchy feely hippy who came to be tolerant and create welfare programs than I think we'll have this culture war won. The Evangelism and the teaching of the exclusivity of Christ will decline. In many mainline churches where this vision has been adopted, people have become increasingly tolerant of other views and lifestyles, and less attached to their own Christianity and even some of its major tenets like the resurrection.

Christ as a historical figure becomes less believable when stripped of all complexity and depth. The crucifixion becomes hard to swallow as we try and imagine a sugary nice guy being dragged to the cross. After that, Christ becomes just another moral philosopher along with Confucius, Buddha, and others. What Christians have traditionally considered "the Good News" becomes meaningless and empty.

The good news for such disoriented souls is that there is hope! There's something that can bringing meaning to their lives and change to society. Chairman Dean and I would be more than happy to welcome you as committed volunteers for the Democratic Party.

Regards,

Dave Screwtape


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: 109th; dncstrategy; religiousleft; valuesvote
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To: Bob

"If we can convince the great mass of Christians to adopt our vision of Christ as a first century touchy feely hippy who came to be tolerant and create welfare programs than I think we'll have this culture war won".

This a**hole will be surprised when JESUS casts him into the "Pit of Fire"!

"Burn baby burn,
The temperatures rising,
Burn baby burn"!

LLS


21 posted on 08/22/2005 12:08:18 PM PDT by LibLieSlayer (Preserve America... kill terrorists... destroy dims!)
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To: Keyes2000mt

Actually, this is not screwtape, it is screwball. This author has no clue what he is talking about.


22 posted on 08/22/2005 12:08:34 PM PDT by RobRoy (Child support and maintenance (alimony) are what we used to call indentured slavery)
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To: Brilliant

>>Maybe it was supposed to be sarcastic, but it's actually what they believe. The author is in a Twilight Zone where it's impossible to tell sarcasm from reality.<<

You and I are having the same problem here.


23 posted on 08/22/2005 12:10:10 PM PDT by RobRoy (Child support and maintenance (alimony) are what we used to call indentured slavery)
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To: Protagoras
Thus, we can shift Christian concern away from issues like abortion and gay marriage...

He nails it with this one. Those Christians are stupid, poorly-educated, and easily led. So if we dangle this Jesus thing in front of them, we can distract them from abortion and gay marriage and can get them to focus on these more practical things.

In fact, if we do it often enough we can get them to focus their attention away from some idiotic notion of utopia in heaven and GET THEM TO HELP US BUILD UTOPIA HERE ON EARTH!! TO EACH, ACCORDING TO HIS NEEDS, FROM EACH ACCORDING TO HIS ABILITIES!!

24 posted on 08/22/2005 12:10:19 PM PDT by 17th Miss Regt
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To: Keyes2000mt

I take it that this is a parody. But it's true to life in that it argues that you can win elections by changing the way you talk instead of the way you act. Just change the language. Don't say "pro-abortion," say "pro-choice." Don't say "Increase taxes," say "Jesus says to help the poor." But just keep on doing what you were doing before.


25 posted on 08/22/2005 12:10:25 PM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: concerned about politics

"They want to be known as the "Moral Party."

And I want to be able to walk on water, the better to sneak up on snook to feed 'em one of my flies.

Both have the same likelihood of happeninf.


26 posted on 08/22/2005 12:12:39 PM PDT by GladesGuru ("In a society predicated upon liberty, it is essential to examine principles)
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To: Keyes2000mt

Jesus never taught the concept of individual compassion with other people's money. That came from Marx.


27 posted on 08/22/2005 12:18:52 PM PDT by aimhigh
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To: Keyes2000mt

I loved the original CS Lewis Screwtape letters. This is pretty funny too, particularly considering it's way too close to reality for comfort - which is why folks are reacting.

Good post.

Thanks.


28 posted on 08/22/2005 12:21:38 PM PDT by Wicket (God bless and protect our troops and God bless America)
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To: mozrock

Read the Screwtape Letters. It is eerily realistic too, but this is so up-to-date that it is chilling. The Communist Manifesto is another fun one to read... I think it's that one that has all the techniques for bringing down bourgeois society and you realize they've accomplished almost all of them here.


29 posted on 08/22/2005 12:23:16 PM PDT by johnb838 (Pray for the Peace of Jerusalem.)
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To: 17th Miss Regt

You forgot the sarcasm tags.


30 posted on 08/22/2005 12:23:32 PM PDT by Protagoras (Fascist thugs are as likely to be your American neighbors as Islamic terrorists.)
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To: Keyes2000mt
I can't believe anyone would "deluge" this idiot's box for advice on ANYTHING.

If this dope is representative of the brain trust available to Democrats, Republicans have NOTHING to worry about. No wonder they have a nut job representing them in Chairman HowlingHowie Dean.

31 posted on 08/22/2005 12:25:47 PM PDT by TheClintons-STILLAnti-American
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To: 17th Miss Regt

JESUS SAID TO LOVE YOUR BROTHER!!!!!


32 posted on 08/22/2005 12:26:25 PM PDT by johnb838 (Pray for the Peace of Jerusalem.)
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To: Keyes2000mt

CHRIST IS NOT REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT, HE IS THE CHRIST AND WE FOLLOW WHAT HE SAYS.

(do not worry, i am well averse with the screwtape letters, and C.S. Lewis)


33 posted on 08/22/2005 12:28:50 PM PDT by TheLastRepublicanTeen (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me - Philipians 4:13)
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To: Keyes2000mt

And the Episcopal Church USA is now preaching that, "God is doing a new thing."


34 posted on 08/22/2005 12:28:58 PM PDT by N. Theknow (Be a glowworm. A glowworm's never glum. How can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?)
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To: concerned about politics

Give a democrat a Welfare check, and she'll be back for another one every month. Tell a democrat to get a job, and you'll be accused of being racist, sexist, homophobic, and / or some other liberal type of mortal sinner..

You have to GIVE them a job and it has to be "empowering," "good for their self-esteem," and pay a "living wage."


35 posted on 08/22/2005 12:31:42 PM PDT by Little Ray (I'm a reactionary, hirsute, gun-owning, knuckle dragging, Christian Neanderthal and proud of it!)
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To: Cicero
I take it this is just a parody.

Take a look at this website. http://adamsweb.us/ This a parody, but there is so much truth to it that it doesn't work as such.

36 posted on 08/22/2005 12:32:18 PM PDT by RobinOfKingston (Mein Koran-the Islamic manifesto)
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To: N. Theknow

Lol, a new thing and God in the same sentence? God never does anything new cuz it's already been done. God always sticks to the plan because He is God. God IS NOT doing anything new, rather, He is doing what He has planned.


37 posted on 08/22/2005 12:32:53 PM PDT by TheLastRepublicanTeen (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me - Philipians 4:13)
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To: Keyes2000mt
Jesus wouldn't launch a war for oil against the Iraqi people.

Excuse me? God "launched" a war against the Canaanites because they occupied territory they had no business occupying. What Did Jesus Do? John 1:1 says He was right there, and that He and the Father CANNOT disagree!!!!!!!!! These people must not even own Bibles.

38 posted on 08/22/2005 12:33:21 PM PDT by LS (CNN is the Amtrak of news)
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To: Bob

I agree! When an idiot is in the midst of cutting his own throat .. please don't stop him.


39 posted on 08/22/2005 12:34:35 PM PDT by CyberAnt (America has the greatest military on the face of the earth.)
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To: LS

wow, very good, LS :-D


40 posted on 08/22/2005 12:34:50 PM PDT by TheLastRepublicanTeen (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me - Philipians 4:13)
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