What If There Are No Adults?

The transition to adulthood used to be one of the main goals of the young. Adulthood was seen to be a status worth achieving and was understood to be a set of responsibilities worth fulfilling. At least, that's the way it used to be. Now, an entire generation seems to be finding itself locked in the grip of eternal youth, unwilling or unable to grow up.

Concern about this phenomenon has been building for some time. Baby-boomer parents are perplexed when their adult-age children move back home, fail to find a job, and appear to be in no hurry to marry. Though the current generation of young adults includes some spectacular exceptions who have quickly moved into the fullness of adult responsibility, the generation as a whole seems to be waiting for something--but who knows what?--to happen.

Frederica Mathewes-Green sees the same phenomenon. In her brilliant essay published in the August/September 2005 edition of First Things, Mathewes-Green describes this new reality with striking clarity.

She begins with the movies. Describing herself as a fan of the old black-and-white classics from the 1930s and 1940s, Mathewes-Green remembers how young actors customarily played the part of mature adults. Actresses like Claudette Colbert and Jean Harlowe were "poised and elegant" onscreen. She notes, "Today even people much older don't have that kind of presence." She then compares Cary Grant with Hugh Grant. The first Grant was "poised and debonair" while the more recent Grant "portrayed a boyish, floppy-haired ditherer till he was forty." She cites reviewer Michael Atkinson, who dubbed today's immature male actors as "toddler-men." As Atkinson describes the distinction, "The conscious contrast between baby-faced, teen-voiced toddler-men movie actors and the Golden Age's grownups is unavoidable."

As Mathewes-Green explains, "Characters in these older movies appear to be an age nobody ever gets to be today. This isn't an observation about the actors themselves (who may have behaved in very juvenile ways privately); rather, it is about the way audiences expected grownups to act." Fast-forwarding to today's Hollywood culture, she observes: "Nobody has that old-style confident authority anymore. We've forgotten how to act like grownups."

Frederica Mathewes-Green is surely correct in seeing this contrast. Gladly, she not only depicts the reality as we now face it--she goes on to explain how we have arrived at such a state of institutionalized immaturity.

As she sees it, "The Baby Boomers fought adulthood every step of the way." In other words, Mathewes-Green points to the parents of this current generation of young adults as the locus of the problem. Speaking of her own generation, she remembers: "We turned blue jeans and T-shirts into the generational uniform. We stopped remembering the names of world political leaders and started remembering the names of movie stars' ex-boyfriends. We stopped participating in fraternal service organizations and started playing video games. We Boomers identified so strongly with being 'the younger generation' that now, paunchy and gray, we're bewildered. We have no idea how to be the older generation. We'll just have to go on being a cranky, creaky appendix to the younger one."

Mathewes-Green's analysis pushes back even further than the baby boomers. She blames the parents of the baby boomers for trying to protect that generation from the realities of a cruel world and a hard life. Having fought and survived the great trial of World War II, they wanted to protect their own young children. "They wanted their little ones never to experience the things they had," Mathewes-Green explains, "never to see such awful sights. Above all, they wanted to protect their children's innocence."

Mathewes-Green is a writer of great ability. Her picturesque imagery makes her point with poetic force. She describes the days "when large families lived together in very small houses" and when "paralyzed or senile family members were cared for at home." When the realities of life were not hidden away, institutionalized, and sanitized, children grew up understanding that life itself is a trial and that adulthood requires a willingness to grow up, take responsibility, fend for oneself, and fight for one's own.

In summary, Mathewes-Green believes that the parents of the 1950s "confused vulnerability with moral innocence. They failed to understand that children who were always encouraged to be childish would jump at the chance and turn childishness into a lifelong project. These parents were unprepared to respond when their children acquired the bodies of young adults and behaved with selfishness, defiance, and hedonism."

In her historical analysis, the parents of the baby boomers attempted to separate childhood and adulthood into two completely separate compartments of life. Childhood would be marked by innocence and adulthood by responsibility. As Mathewes-Green warns: "Be careful what you wish for." Missing from this picture is a period of urgent transition that would turn the child into an adult. What we face now is a generation of children in the bodies of adults.

Understanding the reality of the problem is a first step towards recovery. Nevertheless, mere description is insufficient as an answer to this crisis.

In days gone by, children learned how to be adults by living, working, and playing at the parents' side. The onset of age twelve or thirteen meant that time was running out on childhood. Traditional ceremonies like the Jewish Bar Mitzvah announced that adulthood was dawning. This point would be clearly understood by the young boy undergoing the Bar Mitzvah. "By the time his body was fully formed, he would be expected to do a full day's work. He could expect to enter the ranks of full-fledged grownups soon after and marry in his late teens. Childhood was a swift passageway to adulthood, and adulthood was a much-desired state of authority and respect."

Today's patterns of schooling do not, in the main, appear to produce a similar result. Instead, the educational process continues to coddle, reassure, and affirm young people without regard to their assumption of adult responsibilities. This approach, Mathewes-Green explains, prepares children "for a life that doesn't exist."

When a generation is continuously told that its options are limitless, its abilities are boundless, and its happiness is central, why should we be surprised that reality comes as such a difficult concept?

Mathewes-Green points to the delay of marriage as the most interesting indicator of what is happening. As she notes, the average first marriage now unites a bride age 25 with a groom age 27. "I'm intrigued by how patently unnatural that is," Mathewes-Green observes. "God designed our bodies to desire to mate much earlier, and through most of history cultures have accommodated that desire by enabling people to wed by their late teens or early twenties. People would postpone marriage until their late twenties only in cases of economic disaster or famine--times when people had to save up in order to marry."

Is the current generation of young adults too immature to marry? Mathewes-Green insists that if this is the case, it is only because the older generation has been telling them they are too immature to marry. Does early marriage lead to disaster? Mathewes-Green is ready to prescribe a dose of reality. "Fifty years ago, when the average bride was twenty, the divorce rate was half what it is now, because the culture encouraged and sustained marriage."

Look carefully at how she describes the personal impact produced by this pattern of delayed marriage: "During those lingering years of unmarried adulthood, young people may not be getting married, but they're still falling in love. They fall in love, and break up, and undergo terrible pain, but find that with time they get over it. This is true even if they remain chaste. By the time these young people marry, they may have had many opportunities to learn how to walk away from a promise. They've been training for divorce."

Rarely does one article contain so much common sense, moral wisdom, and promise. The way to recovery surely must start with a rediscovery of what adulthood means and a reaffirmation of why it is so important--both for the society and for individuals. Adulthood must be tied to actual, meaningful, and mature responsibilities--most importantly, marriage.

There is reason for hope. Many in this new generation demonstrate a willingness to buck the trend. They are the new pioneers of adulthood, and they will be uniquely qualified to influence their own peers and to reshape our own culture. Taking marriage seriously as a life-long commitment, they will be more inclined to raise children who will understand what it will take to live as adults in our time of confusion. They will understand that eternal youth is not a blessing, but a curse.

For further reading, see Dr. Mohler's commentaries, "The Generation That Won't Grow Up," and "Looking Back at 'The Mystery of Marriage,'" Parts One and Two. Audio of "The Mystery of Marriage" address is available here.

I started working fairly regularly when I was 12 and opened my first checking account then. By 14 I was working nearly 20 hours a week for the local hospital with regular minimum wage pay, etc.

I'm 40 and most of the stuff I did as a kid is now illegal in my state. Ironically, it was the good stuff that helped me become an adult. Go figure.

When I worked in restaurants and stores in college the manager that I dealt with refused to hire anyone who could not count change. Now, I guess they have no choice.

I avoid self checkouts like the plague. I see them as another attempt by big business to get rid of employees. Just think about it. One of those self checkouts runs three shifts a day 7 days a week and you don't have to provide them with benefits or salary. I figure that one of those self checkouts at Walmart can replace 4 to 5 full time cashiers. That's why our local Walmart has shut down most of its checkout lanes and started trying to forcibly funnel people into the self checkout lanes. If they can ever make people get used to the darn things they get rid of a ton cashiers.

The interesting thing about watching the Original Star Trek series is that even though Roddenberry was a left-wing loon, it reflected the prevailing culture. "Miri" shows the negatives of eternal childhood (as did a campier episode of Lost in Space). "And the Children Shall Lead" is another episode that shows the problem with empowering children, as does "Charly X". "The Way to Eden" shows the downside of hippy idealism. "A Private Little War" is pro-Vietnam. "Bread and Circuses" is pro-Christian. "The Conscious of the King" as Kodos asks (like a good more relativist) "Who are you to say what harm was done?" and Kirk responds, "Who do I have to be?" "The Cloud Minders", while showing sympathy for the underclass, does not excuse their terrorism. "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield" isn't a story about an oppresor and a victim but a story of the destructive nature of mutual racism. "The Omega Glory" is pro-American. "Errand of Mercy" depicts the Klingons as willing to murder hostages. "Friday's Child" has McCoy convincing a woman not only not to kill herself but to want her child. And so on.

It's not just Americans who have this problem.

IMHO, many (if not all) of the homicide bombers are stunted individuals. Angry at the world, feeling "entitled" to honor & glory, and simply bored with mundane, secular reponsibility, they choose what they perceive as a glamorous exit strategy with which they can express themselves.

Arabs don't have a monopoly on these kind of people. Think of Columbine. Those kids wanted to die famous. I see suicide chic in a lot of people's futures.

Everything about this article makes me think of the DUmmies and their constant whining. Maybe this article explains the "Root Cause^TM" of DUmmie-ism.

I forget where I read it but an article I read explained that academic liberals are conditioned by teachers who approve of their papers to think that their opinons and thoughts are valuable and can't understand or feel betrayed whent he real world expects them to do something that's actually valuable to others in order to get paid well.

I figure that one of those self checkouts at Walmart can replace 4 to 5 full time cashiers.

I figure 1 Walmart self checkout lane device has more intelligence, common sense and logical thinking skills than 4 to 5 full time Walmart cashiers, not to mention the self check lane device is more courteous and dilligent in completing your sales transaction.

Hmmm. You could be right. I find them to be a great convenience and time saver. But it does allow business to hire fewer people. Our Wal-Mart hasn't gone that far yet; there are still plenty of cashier lanes open, but I guess I like the self-checkout lanes because I usually only buy a few items, not a cart-load.

"I think you'll find the average home price/income ratio took a huge jump in the 1970s and another one in the past decade."

It would be a big project to do quality research on this, but here’s what I can find in 15 minutes:

The average household income was about $3k in 1940

The average household income is about 60k today. and the median home price is about 200k. (I had the link but lost it.)

So assuming everything’s equal, which it’s not but there are inequalities favoring both sides, the median home in 1940 would need to cost about $10k to compare to the cost today.

I also stubbed across this good indicator that there is no problem in home ownership as a quality of life: Home ownership rates have increased from 64% of the nation to 68% in the last 9 years. In 1940, the rate was less than 43.6%. We were a nation of renters at the beginning of this century. Freddie Mac tells us that will grow to 68.5% by 2010.

I've thought for a long time that both the extension of childhood and the marginalization of women's roles that occurred after WWII related to the huge shift away from a rural/agricultural/family enterprise society to a much more urban/commercial/employee one. In how many families was the generation that came of age after the war the first one to leave the farm or ranch or small-town family business? Lots. And, the paradigm shifted from a family enterprise, where everyone had important and responsible economic roles to one in which only Dad was economically productive working in the city, while Mom and the kids had to keep themselves occupied in the suburbs.

I think this caused the infantilization of both women and children. Of course, the second generation dealt with women's problem through greater education and more paid work outside the home, but having two employees in the family still isn't the same as the shared enterprise of the family farm/ranch or small business. And, it leaves the children under the supervision of others, or unsupervised, much of the time. I think it creates enormous strain on families.

I think the solution will eventually be small family businesses or independent contractor status for the adults. The independent contractor usually has much more flexibility in when and where to work (can often work from home a good bit, or work reduced hours), and of course, the small business can involve all family members.

I show that I was watching talked about how food preparation time for women dropped form about 7.5 hours a day down to something like 2 after frozen and prepared food became available in the 1950s. Schools and fewer children also meant that childbearing took up less of their time. Basically, modern suburban life left traditional women relatively isolated and efficiency left them with a lot less to do so they got bored and wanted to work. That's understandable. But unfortunately, housing prices are now pegged to what a two-income family can earn and a single income is no longer a viable choice in parts of the US.

But overall, I think history shows that affluence is a curse because as soon as people stop worrying about their mistakes endangering their survival, they stop worrying so much about making mistakes and become willing to embrace and try all sorts of nutty ideas.

I may get flamed for this...but...the whole womens-lib-career woman having to go to work and be like a man mindset,(instead of being a mother to her children) along with little-boy, wanna-be men who can't handle marriage, commitment and responsibility has ruined this countrys standard of living more than anything.

No flames from here! Spot on!

If a woman wants to work fine, but she should not give up her womanhood (or femininity) for feminism!

Very very true...but if we get rid of all the cashiers they are just going to end up on welfare and food stamps, which means that we will be paying for their lives of leisure just as we are the rest of the dead beats in America.

I'd rather put up with stupid cashiers on the job than be paying extra tax dollars to have them added to the growing list of welfare queens in this country.

Well, for one thing Hollywood is reflective of its underlying society, and not the other way around, and it's getting increasingly divorced from the society it's supposed to be reflecting. The reason there isn't a Bogart or a Wayne out there right now isn't because there are no men in America. That is a thesis so silly that it scarcely bears comment.

The reason for it, as several posters have commented, is economic surplus, and this cycle of it began during the Great Depression. There are, in fact, no real sharp lines of demarcation between generations (you don't find years when nobody had any children) but there are between social attitudes.

The parental drive for a better life for their children is as old as humanity, and is one principal reason why anyone bothered to come to America in the first place. It is an extremely positive social attitude. When that encounters a time of real stress such as the Great Depression (or the Civil War, or the Black Death) it becomes unrestrained by the idea that perhaps one might be making things unhealthily good for one's children - that would be impossible. But in a multigenerational period of plenty it isn't impossible at all.

There's nothing wrong with such things as excessive behaviors, loud music, or radical politics, but it is immature to submerge oneself in them, just as there's nothing wrong with tapioca pudding but if you swim in it you're likely to get fat.

Hahaha...LOL! I remember a friend and I joking about a decade ago, when all of the convenience devices appeared, about how society had now reached the point of "No Human Interaction Required!". But we're both engineers, so go figure. You're right, we're losing bits of our humanity in our world.

I'd rather put up with stupid cashiers on the job than be paying extra tax dollars to have them added to the growing list of welfare queens in this country.

Not trying to do point-counter point here...but...

I'd rather think that people could shoot a little higher than being a cashier at WalMart. If ones only career choices are being a cashier at Walmart or a welfare king/queen than this country is more screwed than I thought it was.

Charles County, we cut the whole plant, speared them on sticks and hung (hanged?) them in the barn to dry. Cutters and hangers were the best paid. After a few months, they were taken down, plants pulled from the stick and leaves stripped out by grade. We young 'uns go the tips as a bonus if we worked hard, but we had to strip them.

Plants were started about the same time.

Funny thing about ND, I should have started my plants in Feb, but didn't until March (indoors--waaay to cold outside), planted the second week of June, (after the chance of a late frost), and with the longer days at this latitude (5AM to 11:30 PM) almost got them to maturity. Only had aphids to contend with, no tobacco worms here.

I think I'll try again next year.

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