Fortress Burger King

Waterbury Republican-American ^ | August 16, 2005 | Editorial

[green pastures]

But isn't Burger King's motto "Have it your way"?


Hold the plate glass,
Hold the fortress,
Special lawuits--
liberal largess
All we ask is that you
let us
be sued your way...



/ducking

[bill1952]

"Who was negligent in this freak accident? The driver? Or the deep-pockets restaurant, for improperly designing and constructing its building and sidewalk and for not installing protective barriers around the building?"

Whomever has the deepest pockets and can cover the most monthly payments on the all those Mercedes in the parking lot of every law firm.

Lawyers are a bane on rationality.

"First thing we do is we kill all of the lawyers."

[devane617]

>>...I have a friend in Rockford. She's a horrible driver who often eats fast food...<<

Oh My God! That is the woman of my dreams!

[bill1952]

The problem is that the lawmakers are mostly lawyers.

They write bills to become laws that are drafted by lawyers, then reviewed by lawyers, then amended by lawyers.

When it passes it becomes a law that will be fought by lawyers, defended by lawyers, and then interpreted by a judge, who is - a lawyer.

It will then be appealed to another panel of Judges, who are all lawyers, who will issue another ruling that will be appealed by more lawyers all the way up the chain to the supreme court and heard by the final Judges. Who are all lawyers.

Personally, I feel that if you took all the lawyers in this country and put them on an old aircraft carrier and sank it in the middle of the ocean, and follow that with another one crammed to the gills with their butt buddies in the insurance racket, we would be doing fine on tort reform.

[softwarecreator]

We oughta be personal injury lawyers. We could sue Burger King, the makers of the lamppost and the auto maker - not to mention the entire city of Detroit for letting the auto industry make it's home there.

And who incorporated Detroit as a city?  The State of Michigan.  Who allowed Michigan to become a state?  The US government!  Who runs the US Government?  George Bush!!  I knew it!  It's all Bush's fault!  I hereby demand his immediate resignation!!

[softwarecreator]

"First thing we do is we kill all of the lawyers."

I'll be sure to tell my wife, who works for a large law firm here in Michigan, that you send her, and her colleagues, your regards, bill.

[SaveTheChief]

I keep thinking that someday I would like to move back home to Illinois to be closer to my family.

Reading stories like this makes me reconsider that desire. It appears that common sense left the Illinois government a long time ago.

[bert]

Building in accordance with the building code should be reasonable care.

Burger King should hire a hit man and get the lawyer.

[bill1952]

Please. It was obvious hyperbole.

And my ex was an attorney in Philadelphia for brief while.
A good old Philadelphia lawyer. Met her in undergraduate.

Dead though she may be, I'll forward her your post.

[AFreeBird]

Man, trying to read that drivel gives me a headache. I should sue the lawyers for that.

Just out of curiosity; what did it say?

[softwarecreator]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  I was just messing with you.

Of course I knew it was a joke ... we do it all the time, too.  Attorneys know the rep the have and it doesn't faze them at all.  Some probably embrace it.

Lawyers are strange, some are the nicest people outside of work but become sharks the minute they enter the office.

Sorry to hear about your ex, though.

[softwarecreator]

Burger King should hire a hit man and get the lawyer

While we're at it, can we "hit" that gay Burger King too?  Those commercials creep me out.  I ever see that weirdo smiling at me from my bedroom window, he'll be wearing that crown somewhere else.

[bill1952]

You got me there, guy. ;^)

I was all set to reply that I was single handedly responsible for the bad rap that America has given the legal profession, and now I have to agree with you.

We split up a long time ago, but thanks for the thought.

I still remember her telling me the first thing that she learned in law school was:

"If you have the law, beat on the law."
"If you have the facts, beat on the facts."
"If you have nothing, beat on the table."

When I asked her where did "truth," or "honesty" play into any of that, she just gave me a dirty look.

Yeah, we lasted long. ;^)

[softwarecreator]

"If you have the law, beat on the law."
"If you have the facts, beat on the facts."
"If you have nothing, beat on the table."

That's about the size of it isn't it?

[trubluolyguy]

Whoever's at fault is whoever has the deepest pockets.

[George W. Bush]

Maybe it should have restaurants that can withstand nuclear blasts, which of course would leave it liable for the wrongful death of the drivers of runaway cars who are killed crashing into the restaurants.

They need to be nuke-resistant but padded with giant air bags to protect the helpless and innocent cars.

The padded air-bags also need to be nuke-resistant.

We really do need to child-proof the entire country.

[ClearBlueSky]

NO mention of age- I'll bet its a senior citizen who was LONG past the time when someone should have taken her keys away.
This happens more and more- they get 'confused'. They're confused when they get behind the wheel, or they're practically blind, or deaf, have motor skills problems and need walkers just to stay upright. But GolDarnit!, they can still control a couple of tons of machinery at 55mph- NOT!
Evidently this woman died, which is a shame. But too many do this and retain their licenses. If you can maintain a car and pay insurance on it, you can afford to call a cab once a week to go shopping. Their PRIDE is costing lives.

This is one of my pet peeves. Barely alive geezers who refuse to stop driving and families who let them. Agin is a fact of life. If you can be too young to drive, for reasoning and reflex reasons, then you certainly can be too old.
During the evac for Hurricane Ivan last year we watched in horror as a woman in the car next to us( traffic was creeping, thank God) drove with her eyes CLOSED and some kind of tremors-one handed. Tourettes, some kind of palsy- I don't know, but she never stopped jerking and shaking. I wouldn't have wanted to be near her when she was doing the speed limit.

[tet68]

This is what happens when you don't have BERM!!

[GBA]

It's so obvious. Just close all restaurants until there are no more stupid people or there are no more lawyers.

[George W. Bush]

This is one of my pet peeves. Barely alive geezers who refuse to stop driving and families who let them.

Hey, you try to get the state to even give them a driving exam at age eighty. Even after getting tickets for driving way over the limit and all kinds of moving violations. They just mail them another license automatically.

They're no help. They can't 'discriminate', after all.