'Three Stooges' Action Lands Boy in Court

Yahoo News & Mail Tribune ^ | August 8, 2005

[so_real]

"They're not friends," she said. "If he was my son's friend, it would be a different thing," said Bobby Cox.

Yet another case of moral relativism. It becomes less amusing every time it rears its ugly head.

[McBuff]

The judge's ruling is indicative of the heinous nature of the titty-twister. Unlike the double-finger eye poke, which can be neutralized by the counter-move of placing the hand vertically flush with the nose and perpendicular with the face, the titty-twister has no known countermove. Thus, a more stiffer sentence for its use is warranted.

[McBuff]

The judge's ruling is indicative of the heinous nature of the titty-twister. Unlike the double-finger eye poke, which can be neutralized by the counter-move of placing the hand vertically flush with the nose and perpendicular with the face, the titty-twister has no known countermove. Thus, a more stiffer sentence for its use is warranted.

[Charles Henrickson]

I hope the estate sues the author for slander.

It could happen, since they're represented by the firm of . . .

[IncPen]

placing the hand vertically flush with the nose and perpendicular with the face

This maneuver is known as 'Curly Protection' and was widely practiced by pre-teens and psychologically arrested pre-adults until the late 1980s when Ted Turner took the fun out of everything.

[spinestein]

[What (at most) should have been a conversation between parents and children has become a nanny-state circus, complete with the entire entourage. How can children learn to sort their differences out like adults when the adults go running to the authorities over stuff this dumb?]


Unfortunately, this has now become necessary in many cases.

It used to be when one kid crossed the line in his behavior against other kids, a phone call to the offending kid's parents "fixed" the situation.

Now, there are many parents who refuse to believe ill of their priceless children and don't administer discipline on them as needed.

The result is either the victim's parents engaging in vigilantism against the offending minor because his own parents aren't taking care of the problem, or bringing the incident into the venue of law enforcement.

[Crim]

The father is a prime example of feminized male....he felt so strongly about it he called the cops...but couldnt be bothered to call the kids parents...or heaven forbid actually have the balls to drive over and knock on the door...

The kid is going to grow up just like his wussie dad....

I'd had died of embarrasment if I spilled even half of what was normal taunting of other kids...One gets even...even if you get yer ass kicked...

Wonder how bad the kid will be taunted now?...his mommy and daddy had to call the cops over a titty twister?

Liberalism IS a mental disorder...and it's spreading...

[ApplegateRanch]

Cox said she was surprised to hear that her husbands' call to Gold Hill police resulted in court time for the boy.

Christine Alford, David's mother, said she did not let her son attend the hearing because she had seen photos of teenagers in handcuffs on the county's Web site.

This gal is a trouble making idiot from the get-go. She is a former Gold Hill city (Hah! City? Running joke, is more like it.) councilwoman, who has publicly stated she is a trouble maker, and proud of it.

I can't believe she didn't know the difference between showing up for a preliminary hearing, and being arrested.

I'm sorry her son has her for his mother; and sorry he has to pay extra for her stupidity. Still, I hope he learned to keep his hands to himself.

[spinestein]

[the titty-twister has no known countermove]


How about a poke in the snoot?
or a punch in the bread basket?
or a kick to the nads?

[Smokin' Joe]

I hate to say it, but when we were kids, the "titty twister" was not even worth a mention to our folks; we gave as good as we got.

If we just keep making whining weenies out of our kids, then it will only take a generation or two for some other country to come in and take over by bruising egos and lowering self esteem with epithets over loudspeakers, turning the population into sniveling globs of spineless protoplasm.

Hell, they won't even have to load their rifles.

[spinestein]

I can't disagree with anything you said.

[Experiment 6-2-6]

According to David, the two boys were in line at a local deli when Matthew jokingly made an embarrassing remark to the female clerk about David

You know, JOKINGLY is usually found at the start of MOST law school questions in TORT..

[Smokin' Joe]

Cover the nipples with the off-hand forearm. Grab the wrist of the offending (incoming) hand with the strong hand in an underhand grip on the wrist, twist the arm, preferably ending up holding the offender with their hand between their shoulder blades. It helps if the 'attacker' is left handed and you are right handed or vice versa. If not, use an overhanded grip on the wrist.

If that fails, attack back...

[HiTech RedNeck]

Such as, Mr. Smith jokingly drove his car into Mrs. Jones.

[fella]

Lawyers are getting in the way of our kids being kids.

[lunarbicep]

Lawyers are getting in the way of our kids being kids.

more like parents running to lawyers thats getting in the way of our kids being kids

[Zack Attack]

Hmm. I think I'm in the clear. What's the statute of limitations on a wedgie?

[Armigerous]

What about 'Indian burns' and 'red bellies', and 'slugs' when you forget to holler 'safety!' after you burp?

[singletrack]

I think an overhand, double slap of the "tittie twisting hands" hands would be my countermove........... The momentum would bring the hands full circle onto my own head, resulting in 2 coconut sound effects, but breaking the hold of the tittie twister.Opening offenses could be a simple eyepoke up to an advanced ear-box.

[Fresh Wind]

Sorry, "Indian burns" (we called them Indian rope burns) are out of the question now. Someone might be offended.