Posted on 08/07/2005 9:04:46 AM PDT by nuconvert
Posted on Thu, Aug. 04, 2005
School on Aug. 8? Are they insane?
BY DAVE BARRY
Here's a multiple-choice test:
When should the school year start?
A. Sometime around Sept. 1, when most of the United States of America has started school for many decades.
B. On Aug. 8 -- also known as ''smack dab in the middle of summer'' -- when the average Florida classroom is roughly the same temperature as a pizza oven.
If you answered ''A,'' you are correct. If you answered ''B,'' you are an official of Miami-Dade or Broward public schools. These officials have decided that our children need to start school on Monday, when children from normal places are vacationing with their families, or attending summer camp, or lying on the sofa picking their noses and playing video games, which is what God clearly intended early August to be used for.
Among the children who will be trudging into Miami-Dade schools on Monday is my 5-year-old daughter, who enters kindergarten this year. When my wife told me the date our daughter would start school, my fifth question was: ``Why?''
(My first four questions, in order, were: ''Aug. 8?'' ''Did you say Aug. 8?'' ''You mean, like, the eighth day of AUGUST?'' ``Are they INSANE??'')
I found out that the reason for the extremely early start of the school year is -- as you veteran parents already know -- the FCATs. FCAT is an acronym standing for ``(Very bad word) Comprehensive Assessment Test.''
These are standardized tests that are administered to all public-school students in Florida to confirm the sneaking suspicion among us older people that these kids today are just not as sharp as we were, dadgummit.
The FCATs have come to dominate public education in Florida. At one time, the purpose of the public schools, at least theoretically, was to educate children; now it is to produce higher FCAT scores, by whatever means necessary. If school officials believed that ingesting lizard meat improved FCAT performance, the cafeterias would be serving gecko nuggets.
So what they've been doing is starting school earlier and earlier, to give teachers more time to drill the kids for the FCATs, which are given in February and March.
Last year, school started in the third week in August; this year it's the second week. If this keeps up it's only a matter of time before we're starting the school year around Memorial Day, which means parents will have to go on their family vacations without taking their actual families, keeping in touch with their children by postcard. (''Dear Dylan -- Disney World is great! Wish you were here! How do you like second grade?'') Yes, it would pretty much destroy childhood. But think of the FCAT scores!
Some other ways we might improve our FCAT performance are:
1. Expel students who are expected to do poorly on the FCATs. The school could send the parents of these students a letter that said: ``We're sorry, but we do not believe your child is capable of producing the kind of FCAT scores that we need to maintain our average here at Coral Snail Elementary.''
2. Import students to Florida from places that tend to produce high standardized-test scores, such as Japan.
3. Cheat. Hey, this is Miami-Dade County! If we can't cheat, what's the point of living here?
4. Instead of starting the school year insanely early, give the tests later.
Ha ha! I'm just kidding with that last one, of course. What a crazy idea! But I sure wish we could find a way to avoid the gradual elimination of our children's summers. I suspect many of you parents out there feel the same way.
In fact, that gives me an idea: Why don't we all write letters to our school board members telling them how we feel? We could collect all these letters and put them in a big box, and then, on the day of the next school board meeting, we could throw the box into a Dumpster. Because I seriously doubt that the school board cares what we parents think about this; if it did, it would never have decided to send our kids back to school on Aug. 8.
No, probably all we can do is shut up, pay our taxes and take our kids to school on whatever day works best for FCAT purposes. On Aug. 8, I'll be dropping my daughter off, with her little lunchbox in her little hand. We prefer to pack her lunch; she's allergic to gecko.
Lol, I remember that feeling. Too bad schools ARE like prisons now. Good thing we're both adults now, huh?
It's called vacation. School is not prison and should not be like prison, as I stated in post 81.
Here in NC schools started the first week in August for several years. Last year the State Legislated a two week later starting date. Resorts raised holy H.... because of the lost revenue. Money wins every time.
How many three month vacations have you taken from work? Don't you think, say, four weeks would be enough for a child to relax, have some fun, and get ready for the next school year? I'm not advocating school as a prison, but, like it or not, it is the job of the kids to learn, and no job will ever give them that kind of break, so there's no sense in setting them up for such unrealistic expectations in the real world.
Agreed.
Long summer breaks is a anachronistic feature of when public schools were first opened in agrian days when most people were farmers and youngsters were expected to help out on the farms during the summer.
Nowadays there is no real reason to have such long breaks. It would be better to have more breaks of shorter periods. A 2-3 month break and kids forget half the stuff they learned.
A couple public schools around here started last Aug 1st, while the rest of the schools started Aug 3rd. Crazy!
Why? Maybe one reason might be is that the schools get more money per pupil per day the school is in session? I'm just guessing on that.
I heard that when a child misses school, the school is docked the money the child is absent? Is this so?
Is this the reason the schools have snow make-up days, so the school can recoup the lost money?
Thanks Naomi. It's so darn hot here in August that the only thing the kids are likely doing, if they are home at all, is playing video games and watching TV. The novelty of the swimming pool has worn off by now and it's not like they want to go to the playground or out to ride their bikes! I'd rather have them in school.
Further, you are right to point out the real facts about the FCAT. Dave Barry, like the rest of his whining liberal ilk, love to blame everything from an October 8 start date to the athletes foot fungus some high school football players might contract in the showers on the FCAT!!! It's silly.
The FCAT has been a boon to education in Florida. The liberals hate Jeb so much that they will attack it at every turn. I just disagree how much the teachers harp on it with the kids. I mean, it's important but they shouldn't get the kids all riled up about it. It adds unnecessary stress to the children.
Dave should just be glad that he doesn't live in Hillsborough County (Tampa), the schools there started last Wednesday!!!
Do you think the SAT scores of a larger district have an impact on whether a small district should merge with a larger one or not if it came to the issue of consolidation?
Honestly, I separate the issues of efficient use of public resources and achievement. Yes, many disagree, but my attitude is we need both, especially in a poor state like Arkansas. Can't afford either/or if we're to build a better future.Myself:
So can I accurately say that test scores at this point are irrelevant?Senator:
Would you please elaborate on one of your previous statements:
"School-to-school comparisons are pretty worthless if you don't take the makeup of student populations into account."
OK. On most recent 4th grade NAEP tests, 13% of AR 4th graders were proficient compared to nat'l. avg. of 20%. But if you break our scores down by race, 18% of AR whites were proficient, and only 2% of AR blacks were proficient.Myself:
No state does a poorer job of educating black children than we do. (It's on the web - Education Week - Quality Counts 2003 study). And if we're going to achieve my dream of closing the achievement gap, that's where we must do far better. We must set far higher expectations for those children, provide adequate, equitable resources, and get far better results.
SO..... to compare one school that's all white, affluent students, most of whom come from highly educated families, against another with all economically disadvantaged students just doesn't make sense. We can do far better for our black students - other states do.
I have a very hard time accepting the statement that black students can't learn because they did not come from an affluent family. It does not take a nice pair of shoes and pretty clothes to engage the brain.
MONEY does not educate, and that seems to be where there is a great division among most Arkansans and those in the arena of politics. There are economically disadvantaged white students in poor areas of the state as well, and if they do not take the bull by the horns and put their minds in gear and make good use of school time, it is first the teachers fault for not guiding them in the beginning of their education and explaining how best to utilize that time, it is secondly the parents fault for not following up on how their child is performing in school, and thirdly, as that child grows and hopefully matures, if s/he still doesn't care to do homework and pay attention in class, it is his/her ultimate failure the child will have to deal with in life, and probably the state as well. But to take race and say that someone can't learn because of it is ludicrous.
You said that "We must set far higher expectations for those children...".
Isn't the expectation level the same for blacks as it is for everybody else???? Yes we should expect more, but how do you plan to get it?
Is it the state education system that is not performing, or is it the under acheiving students of Arkansas?
LOOK AT THE DATA, THEY HAVE ACCESS TO THE SAME SCHOOL BOOKS AS WHITE STUDENTS. Take Pulaski county schools as an example, what excuse do you give for them? Can't be because of low funding or underpaid teachers..................
An answer to that question would be appreciated. I would really like to know.
To take poverty and say someone is incapable of obtaining an education because of it is laughable, why don't you try that line on my Grandpa....
Thanks for your time.
Please tell me how Florida kids who start school the second week of August and get out of school before Memorial Day are more brainwashed than Northern kids who start school after Labor Day but don't get out of school until just before Independence Day. By my calendar, they have the same amount of weeks of vacation!! But maybe I have a Marxist calendar, living in Florida, and all!!
p.s. I grew up in the Southwest, and we always started school in mid-August and finished school before Memorial Day as well. This is nothing new!
Uh, there's this newfangled invention down here called "air conditioning". Heard about it?
AND furthermore Arkansas Schools start Aug 19th..:)
11th is too soon, too; but three weeks for Christmas is a nice thing.
As far as California, we all have the same number of days every year: It's just a matter of pacing.
Here in Tulsa they start next Thursay. Groan
Exactly!My education did not stop during the summer.I read voraciously as well as taking the summer to hike,swim,get back in touch with nature,etc.I never was bored or sat around complaining that there was"nothing to do"
And of course there were also the long days of doing gardening jobs and digging,ditches and painting porches around the neighborhood for fifty cents an hour!
I don't know of any that go that long and I grew up in the North. At least not in Ohio, it's actually against state law to do that, as well it should be.
Ok, fine. Let's just cut out summer break all together and make kids hate school even more than they do already. Happy now?
We grew up in California where school was the way Dave Berry remembered it. But when our son enrolled at Auburn we found that school starts early in the South. They follow a quarter system where the first term is over by Christmas break. (Winter break for the secularists). So this allows a full term before and after Christmas with no study or term papers to mess up the holiday.
As far as the standardized tests, I am sure the teachers would complain whenever they are held, but the important thing to remember is that the tests are the same for everyone in the school district, and as such tend to show the good and bad schools whenever they start. So placing the blame on the tests is just a teacher complaint. The true reason is to align with Christmas and the college schedule. In fact the fact that some teachers need to attend college classes in the summer is a pretty good reason to make the change. For what its worth.
Any way you slice it, school is in session for 180 days. If you start early, then you get breaks in the middle of the year, such as three weeks off for Christmas, a Fall break that otherwise wouldn't exist, etc.
Ummm...not if the schedule says differently.
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