Scrappleface/Satire: Bush Fires Rove, Names Novak to White House Post

Scrappleface ^ | July 15, 2005 | Scott Ott

[Kaslin]

President George Bush today fired longtime friend and political wizard Karl Rove, the embattled White House deputy chief of staff at the center of the most devastating scandal to engulf a presidency in the history of the republic.

In the same news conference, the president announced that he would replace Mr. Rove with columnist Robert Novak, who broke the story that Valerie Plame was a famous covert CIA 'operative'.

"Bob Novak knows what's going on in Washington better than his predecessor did," said Mr. Bush. "He's the one who told Karl that Ambassador Joe Wilson's wife was a spy. People talk to Novak. He's a regular Oprah Winfrey."

Mr. Bush also said he "admires the resilience of the scrappy columnist."

"This Plame thing has got one reporter in jail, another turning state's evidence and Karl Rove spilling his guts three times before the grand jury," said Mr. Bush, "but not Bob Novak. He's a Chevy truck -- like a rock. He's the one who lit the fire. He's not talking, but he's still walking. I'm going to have him spray some of that Teflon on the White House."

In related news, an unnamed source close to the prosecutor's office said the Bush administration coverup of the Rove scandal continues.

"The president's team is quite clever," said the anonymous source. "They're trying to bury us in information by giving us all that we've requested -- documents, testimony...everything. The fact that the White House is not being secretive with the grand jury or the prosecutor is the main evidence of criminal activity."

[exDemMom]

Gee, you really scared me with that headline.

[speedy]

Another good one.

[softwarecreator]

Okay, YOU are paying the medical bills on this one, lady.

I'm pretty sure I went into cardiac arrest for a few seconds there!

Great Post!  =)

[sirchtruth]

"The president's team is quite clever," said the anonymous source. "They're trying to bury us in information by giving us all that we've requested -- documents, testimony...everything. The fact that the White House is not being secretive with the grand jury or the prosecutor is the main evidence of criminal activity."

LOL! That's hilarious!

[republican4ever]

Geee...... what a prank!

[softwarecreator]

Sorry, accidently posted #4 it to you and it should have gone to #1 ... Kaslin

[SamAdams76]

You forgot the other headline..."Bush Nominates Bill Clinton for Supreme Court"

[Kaslin]

*snicker*

[steveegg]

The scary thing is I can see the prosecutor and his DemonRAT allies saying just that.

[ChristianDefender]

"He's the one who told Karl that Ambassador Joe Wilson's wife was a spy. People talk to Novak. He's a regular Oprah Winfrey."

Ohhh... i love this...

[eeriegeno]

Sarcasm aside, it would not bother me one bit if Bobby Novak spent the next 5 or 10 years in the clink for outing this CIA operative and blaming it on someone else!!!!!!!!!!

Note to Bobby: when ya run with the big dogs, ya better not be surprised when ya get bitten......

[A CA Guy]

Valerie Plame has just reported to the world on Larry King that she discovered "NO" WMD in her husband Joe Wilson's pants. She says it Bush's fault.

[Kaslin]

I didn't see that

[JOE6PAK]

Bush Fires Rove, Names Novak to White House Post...

Hillary Clinton is Presidents choice for SCOTUS...

Charlton Heston's Gay lover tells all....

Jimmy Hoffa found alive and working at Dairy Queen in Framingham,MA.

[Echo Talon]

He's the one who lit the fire, but hes not feeling the heat.

I think the writer forgot to put this in.

[Torie]

Ditto. The Rove feeding frenzy suggests that the Dems are close to being in a state of mental receivership. But it does give Senator Schumer more camera time. Given his trial blazing paradigms on the process of selecting SCOTUS persons as a lagniappe, he must be having a lot of fun these days. So many photo op/sound byte opportunities, so little time. He must be in a state of continuous exhaustion.

As I slowly achieve something ever closer to room temperature, I get ever more dyspeptic about the act politicians present to us. Maybe it is time for someone to send the curmudgeon up to the mountain top to freeze to death, and make space for others.

[Kaslin]

Sarcasm aside, it would not bother me one bit if Bobby Novak spent the next 5 or 10 years in the clink for outing this CIA operative and blaming it on someone else!!!!!!!!!!

Actually it was Wilson himself who outed his wife, when he talked to David Corn of Nation

[Kaslin]

Ditto. The Rove feeding frenzy suggests that the Dems are close to being in a state of mental receivership

There's a thread in FR that the lunatics in the House inquired if Rove could be impeached. Did you see that?

[KingNo155]

Bump...LOL