Posted on 07/13/2005 12:16:21 AM PDT by rawhide
NEW YORK — This summer, hide your bridesmaids.
So warns the promo for this weekend's new movie, "Wedding Crashers", which is about a couple of bachelors who show up at weddings uninvited to prey on lonely bridesmaids and especially desperate female guests.
The movie cashes in on two common stereotypes about weddings: that women hate attending nuptials alone, and that men, realizing how vulnerable weddings make single women feel, use the occasions to their advantage.
But how are true are these generalizations?
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
There is an Irish saying:
"The going to a wedding is the making of another."
My wedding and the one I gave for my daughter were a great deal of fun! Everyone had a great time, nobody wanted to leave, but I'm sure that you would have been abjectly miserable at either, since it is obvious, to me, that you are mannerless, incivil, full of yourself, and don't know how to behave. Great food, great bands, and lots of intelligent, happy people, just aren't things that you'd ever enjoy. ;^)
That was the topic... The article, in paragraph 3 asks: "But how are true are these generalizations?"
The topic is weddings, and the experiences of those on the forum.... We are not limited to talking about a movie none of us have seen.... The thread topic is very much out of your control.
You made statements about rules of etiquette we all better gosh darn follow or we're rude. I think many here wanted to let you know that those rules are very much not the only acceptable practice.
These are different times nopardons. I find it hard to believe the things people are describing but I guess it's true. It's one thing to have a cheap wedding because you don't have mone. However, poverty is no excuse for not having class.
Your condescending attitude toward other freepers' valid comments makes it appropriate.
In the South, it is rude to invite a single guest of dating age and determine for them whether they deserve to bring the person they are dating or just want to bring. There are exceptions, but you generally don't do it. Don't invite them if there is not the budget for both.
As far as seating goes the main tables are *sometimes* placecarded at some weddings so crazy aunt Judy doesn't try to sit next to the bride, and the wedding party gets to sit at the main tables. In general, however, people form their own groups. Weddings are celebrations down here, not opportunities for Emily-Post-wannabees to nitpick other people's arrangements.
The Junior League mentality rules here in the South, at the Memphis Country Club and University Club especially, and never have I been to an old money wedding that was as sterile as the one you described.
As far as the article, it is very tacky to crash a wedding, though I have been drug into strange wedding receptions before by family and felt welcome.
The Yankee wedding standard is not universal. You try showing up at my wife's grandmother's Sewing Circle and telling the southern ladies there that my wife's wedding was in poor taste. They'll find something wrong with your outfit and your grammar and have you begging for mercy before you can get out the next sentence.
A budget wedding can be done with class. It's the ones that are done because some people just don't care. A wedding isn't a casual event and shouldn't treated that way. I don't have a lot of money but there's no way I'm serving people with paper plates *lol*
Then again, a person's wedding arrangements are theirs in the end. I can only state my opinion. I don't like to put down other people.
Oh, that's considered rude in the North too. At least among my family and friends. But then maybe we're just not aware of the universal rules of wedding etiquette...
Class doesn't have anything to do with spending! Not sure where you're getting that idea. Perhaps many think spending and formality will imply class. My wedding wasn't cheap, but the money wasn't laid out for display, where people would speculate about the cost the whole way home. It was just nice, and fun for everyone. :~D
Brides focus on a lot of things surrounding their wedding, most of which I can assure you the guests would never notice... Including the type, color, and placement of the plates.
This is just advice, from just one person who has done what you are planning now, and made these decisions. It's really easy to get really wrapped up in the ~things~ of weddings, and most of it doesn't matter.
I see your point about the movie. We were in the military when I got married, and all the guests had to have a pass to get onto the base. When people told us they were coming, we mailed them their pass.
A church hall or Knights of Columbus club, or wherever people have receptions in your area, will have plates and forks! (If you ask some of the guests to stay after the reception and wash up, make sure you leave plenty of champagne in the refrigerator!)
You know the old Cotton and Hardwood money down here doesn't know how to do a proper wedding either. I feel embarassed.
Some men hate weddings; some don't.
And I'd wager to say, that if you had gone and found my daughter's wedding "depressing", then there would have to be something wrong with you. LOL
I'm not saying class has anything to do with spending money. A person can have a wedding with very little money and still manage to look classy. I suppose using the word 'class' may be offensive or confusing. Not everyone has the same social circle. Some people may not care about how a reception is done but but that's not everybody. I went to a wedding reception where people drank a lot. That's having no class.
Of course, in the end a person has to do what they feel most comfortable with. To each his own I suppose.
The best wedding reception I was ever at was done by the family. It was outside and Cajun. Some of the worst were done by uber professional wedding planners. If you get the food and drink and order of things correct everything takes care of itself. (After you lose your mind the last month before the wedding. My wife was certifiable) Ignore the little distractions and don't let anything short of the groom not showing up bother you. Even if you brother in law tries to destroy the wedding cake before it is cut.
What do we disagree on? Really?
I don't know :o)
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