Posted on 06/24/2005 11:39:38 PM PDT by monkapotamus
JUNE 24--As Tom Cruise and his Scientology cohorts show Katie Holmes the religion's ropes, they surely won't be spending any time focusing on L. Ron Hubbard's wonderfully entertaining FBI file. Which, of course, is TSG's job. This Hubbard guy, the bureau documents reveal, was quite a raving lunatic (who could have imagined?). When he wasn't diming out a supposed Nazi, beefing about his wife, or complaining about being harassed by Cuban commies, Hubbard wrote to the FBI about a bizarre home invasion. Hubbard, the guiding light to nitwits like Cruise, John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, and Lisa Marie Presley, told agents in a May 1951 letter about being attacked in his crib. After being knocked out by the intruder(s), the science fiction author claimed, a needle was "thrust into his heart to produce a coronary thrombosis and he was given an electric shock." Little wonder Cruise & Co. are so down on electro convulsive therapy considering what happened to this poor mother Hubbard, who died in 1986 at age 74. Here are some excerpts from L. Ron's FBI file, which we obtained via a Freedom of Information request:
Blowing The Whistle On A Supposed Nazi (1 page)
A Plea For Red Protection (1 page)
Recalling A Heart Attack (3 pages)
FBI Reviews Bankruptcy Filing (2 pages)
L. Ron's Rap Sheet (1 page)
Hubbard: No Tricky Dick Fan (5 pages)
I think the best is from the historian Josepheus.......Roman Jew by birth, not religiously Jewish, as I recall.
Oops....should have kept reading.....they got it already....
With the klinton's everything was for sale.
But if you ever have the time, click on the link that I provided above and read a little about what they did to Lisa. It would break your heart.
It was his character that stabbed the needle into her. There's bound to be some meaning in there somewhere....
There were more and earlier.
She is Scientologist also.
Apparently the little nutcase has a Napoleonic complex.
Bet he owns German shepherds also.
Mr. Cranky reviews Battlefield Earth
Battlefield Earth is one of the worst films ever made. Its that simple. Its Plan 9 From Outer Space made for sixty million dollars. Had Ed Wood made Battlefield Earth, people would have expected an apology. When the cultural impact of this fiasco finally sinks in, John Travolta will be lucky if he can get a job plucking the gray hairs out of Ron Palillos *ss.
Battlefield Earth is based on a novel written by Church of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. Perhaps the Church of Scientology wanted to ensure nobody else joined up. This movie is like watching the Pope accidentally catch on fire while giving Easter Mass. If thats not a time to rethink your spiritual choices, what is?
Discussing the details of the plot is akin to discussing the literary merits of a Nora Roberts novel. I just cant emphasize enough how bad it all is. Its such a disaster it may resurrect Lawrence Hilton-Jacobss career. Hell be able to defend himself by saying, At least I didnt make Battlefield Earth, and executives will have to acknowledge that he has a point. Anyway, its the year 3000, a thousand years after a race of creatures called the Psychlos has taken over the Earth. Their chief of security is Terl (John Travolta), who wants to use the humans as slaves for his personal gain. Unfortunately, Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper) has other plans and leads a revolt.
Psychlos are essentially Jamaican Klingons who speak like Ferengi. The primary special effect in the movie is accomplished by filling buckets with dirt and pieces of concrete, then tossing them across the screen. Director Roger Christian has a hard-on for flying dirt like you would not believe. The guys who wrote this should be forced to dictate everything for the rest of their lives so they may never again touch pen to paper or finger to keyboard and declare themselves writers. If Christian can get a job as a Sears portrait photographer after this movie, Congress should make the use of cameras punishable by death. Every single scene is at an angle, which gave me the urge to slide off my chair and smash my skull into the floor. Action scenes look like they were shot inside a paint mixer.
If egos were f*rts, one imagines John Travolta could destroy an entire planet by devouring a single frozen burrito. That this film even got made is clearly one testament to that fact, and that theyre already planning a sequel is another.
Last I checked, he jabbed they syringe in Uma's chest...
(spend five minutes watching that scene on my 10th Anniversary Pulp Fiction DVD)
Yup, sure did..
Mimi Rogers is his ex wife, last thing I knew she was in was as Mrs. Kennsington in "Austin Powers International Man of Mystery."
Isn't Dianetics the "bible" of Scientology???
They also killed Terri Schindler...
That would be Greta van Facelift, err Sustern..
on b substitute Mecca/Medina for Kashmir, unless there's some new religion based on a Led Zeppelin song...
I feel so very sorry for Katie Holmes. At 26 she seems more like 16. I don't understand why she isn't afraid of how manic Cruise is.
And what about Nicole Kidman. What kind of person is she?
LOL!
I just knew there was something wrong with my choices.
Get the Led out!
Have you eer READ BattleField Earth? I read it in HS and concluded LRH couldn't cerry a jar to capture the sweat from the jockstraps of Asimov, Heinlein, Ellison, Clarke, etc.
These nutcases literally think LRH was the greatest SF writer ever.
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