Posted on 06/19/2005 5:45:06 PM PDT by CHARLITE
This is the fourth installment in my Developing "The Disaster Master Mind©" series. I’m praying that you are well on your way to a completely screwed up life after just reading and obeying the first three of the 10 habits of the Decidedly Defective People©. If success is still looking like it might attach itself to you, do not despair, stay the course and chaos can be yours, too. Be patient, as fiascos take time and demand dedication in order to set in motion the forces for failure; therefore, be vigilant and the repugnant life will be yours before you know it.
With habit one (Be a Slacker©), habit two (Blame Others©) and habit three (Embrace Hopelessness©) under your belt, let me further your farcical existence by establishing within your smelly psyche habit four, Follow Others Mindlessly©.
To eschew achievement, which is your goal, you must flee from all the traits that make one great. Duh. Some of the qualities that make people great are: leading thoughtfully, being independent thinkers, having a well-tuned moral compass, being persons of conviction and not convenience and being very comfortable with opposing what others are robotically doing. Yes, the successful ones got to this place of personal prosperity by self-determined deliberation—which is totally taboo for those trying to attract atrocities.
Developing wisdom, knowledge and understanding that leads to independent thinking is hard work, and hard work is antithetical to your desires for doom. Only through sweat do the successful get the ability to solidly free think against the grain—and since you are devoted to disaster and immediate gratification, developing the powers necessary for sound judgment simply is not on your to-do list. You, you loser you, would rather take the path of least resistance and cruise on the flotsam and jetsam of a jaded, jacked-up culture, and that is why you Follow Others Mindlessly©.
Getting thoughtlessly caught up in what others are doing is a must if you really want to rust. This is especially true for young people. Young person, begin immediately obeying what all your buddies are telling you to do. Quit thinking so much. Quit judging their attitudes and actions, or you might be putting off some foul existence that could be yours. Did you ever think about that? You must cease examining what you’re being sold by your peers, that is, if you are serious about living the sucky life.
Think about it . . . if you keep up your own thoughts and convictions you could end up being ridiculed, persecuted, ostracized—or you might even get blogged! And you wouldn’t want that, would you? Quit this independent crud, and just conform. Get your uniform on and walk lockstep with this crappy culture. For failure to begin to ooze over your soul, you must allow you convictions to wane, your ‘nads to shrivel and your will to weaken while fostering the fear of man within as it wilts your wussy soul.
The opportunities to follow the herd are endless. You can become like all the cattle at nearly every turn. Take your sex life for instance, young person. Following what our current, cranially posterialized culture is doing with their genitals is a great way to jettison your future into the fryer. To ratchet up your potential for pain never question and only obey what our porn generation is selling you. I mean . . . who needs morality? Abstinence is for morons. Why give yourself to one person out of love when you can spread your legs to 50 via lust? You, my friend, should slut around as much as possible. Yes, through the avenue of multiple sexual partners, you can fragment your soul to the point where sex becomes mechanized and orifices become receptacles for narcissistic self-gratification, and all semblances of love and devotion are effectively destroyed. Come on now, Kinsey your way to disaster.
Additionally, think about the pain you could be missing out on (not to mention the amazing complications) by not having an unwanted child, an abortion, an STD—or even AIDS! You are missing out on so much disaster by following your holier-than-thou moral compass, you idiot. Cut the conviction stuff immediately, Goofy! Now . . . put on a rubber . . . take nude pictures of yourself . . . make a sex tape and then make sure it gets out in public. That alone could bring enough disaster your way to last for decades. Also, why don’t you try homosexuality? It doesn’t look so bad on TV, does it? Please, get busy following what others are doing with their naughty bits, you repressed puritan, you. Never mind what common sense, holy writ and history have taught us about unbridled sexual passions.
To enhance your chances for hell on earth one has to cease to think for one’s self. Teach yourself to become enslaved to other people, TV, feckless political parties and corrupt ecclesias. Do not develop the powers of common sense. Do not study the rise and fall of nations and their worldviews. Never doubt our current thoughts and trends or contemplate that they have been previously tried and found wanting. Teach yourself to be enslaved to public opinion. Live under the authoritative whip of the thought police, ever fearing man and marching to the beat of the masses’ drum. Bring on disaster by thinking nothing, saying nothing, doing nothing and being nothing different than what everyone else is.
Habit five to follow. . . .
Go to clashradio.com to buy Giles’ book Do You Have a Pit Bull Attitude? DYHAPBA is 10 chapters of uncut, bulldog adrenaline, guaranteed to give people who are serious about changing their lives both the incentive and practical tools to do so.
Doug Giles' provocative weekly one-hour radio program, 'The Clash', has re-launched with several new features. Go to clashradio.com and hit 'listen live.'
May 28, 2005 "Ten Habits of Decidedly Defective People"http://www.townhall.com/columnists/douggiles/dg20050528.shtml
June 4, 2005 "Embrace Hopelessness"http://www.townhall.com/columnists/douggiles/dg20050604.shtml
Char :)
In this series of articles, Doug Giles gives the impression that it takes a lot of work to be a lazy failure. :-)
btt
Thanks for the ping!
Another great column from Doug Giles!
Homosexual Agenda + Moral Absolutes Ping.
Warning - sarcastic humor, a little crude and ironic. I think older teenagers could benefit from it. I never ran into this writer before; there are links to some other articles.
Freepmail me if you want on/off either list.
Thx for the ping- good read.
I didn't check his previous habits for misery, they're probably just as wise!
Worth a check in the midst of all the serious stuff. The above article is serious, too, but we all need some humor now and then, even the dark kind.
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