Posted on 06/15/2005 5:50:26 PM PDT by Miami Vice
Approximately ten years ago, I was the Director of Managed Care for Temple University Health Sciences Center (TUHSC). The institution was one of the largest hospitals in Pennsylvania – indeed the country – and was a well-regarded academic medical center nationally.
Then TUHSC’s Department of Obstetric, Gynecology and Reproductive Services operated, and I believe still does, the Temple Infant Parent Support Services (TIPSS) program. The purpose of TIPSS was to address the issue of infant mortality in the impoverished North Philadelphia neighborhood where TUHSC was located. TIPSS was a good program, which provided prenatal and postnatal care for local mothers who were primarily single.
As the Managed Care Director, I asked to tour the facility and learn more about the program to determine if there was someway to integrate it with prenatal programs operated by HMO’s. I met with the TIPSS program director and learned more about what they did and how they did it.
One thing that impressed me was the postnatal care they provided for the mothers. They did everything they could to ensure that these mothers - who were mostly poor, young, and unmarried – became productive citizens and good parents.
The other thing that impressed me was the total lack of similar considerations for the fathers. Being the single parent I then was, I asked what was being done to encourage fathers to be a part of the parenting process. The reply can be summed as basically - not much.
This is not to condemn TIPSS. It is to illustrate that when it comes to parenting and the problem of illegitimacy, society considers the issue to be the sole province of mothers.
I recently read an excerpt of the biography of the Italian actress Sophia Loren. She was born illegitimately. Her father – if you can really call him that – gave Sophia his last name, which meant she could attend school in Italy. Without this imprimatur, she could not.
When Loren’s mother had another baby out of wedlock by this same cretin who fathered Sophia, she was beginning her acting career. This scoundrel asked for money from Sophia so that he would sign the documents to give her sister his name as he did Sophia. She did so willingly so that her sister would not be an outcast.
It seems that the Italians considered illegitimacy a function of motherhood not parenthood. Yet, it takes two to make an illegitimate baby. However, for years most of the stigma of having illegitimacy was attached to the mother. The father – other than the shotgun wedding or paternity suits- seemed to be absolved.
Now, while here in America there is no longer a stigma attached to mothers having babies without being married, the responsibility for parenting the illegitimate still seems to be theirs alone. This is deleterious for two reasons. First, two parents are a necessity. Although one parent can do it alone, it is incredibly arduous task.
Second, fathers are a necessity. Despite the fact that the American intelligentsia only recently acknowledged this salient fact, it is a common sense concept that has always been recognized by everybody who was not a social scientist or a corporate executive.
Fatherhood is an important role in society. Unfortunately, for years society considered being a husband and father as being solely a provider with little responsibility other than working outside the home, taking out the trash once a week, paying the bills on Saturday, and doing minor repairs around the house (and gardening if you lived in the suburbs). Mothers were the glue of the family and the primary parent.
This specialization of labor may work well for an industrial economy – it does not for parenting. Both parents need to be involved. While one spouse may be better suited to parenting then the other they both need to be engaged.
This is a concept that makes the feminazis want to jump from a bridge.
There is no better example of this then divorced couples. Until recently, the courts behaved with Pavlovian predictability and almost always awarded kids to the mother. This has changed somewhat. Joint custody is fairly normal today.
This was not the case for me twenty years ago when I was advised by my attorney – and knew from experience – that there was not a snowball’s chance for me to obtain custody.
Yet, while things have changed, parenting is still considered the mothers domain.
The change that is needed now is more cultural than legal. Men have to realize that their primary responsibility, once they become fathers, is no longer their careers. Corporate America has to realize that fatherhood is an important aspect of the society within which they exist.
It is inherent for corporate managers that they not only value their male employees for their business contributions. The model must not be business at the expense of disrupting the family. If the next generation is dysfunctional, there will be no labor or consumers for the goods and services produced.
Ironically, our society must recall the words of Mario Puzo’s Don Corleone, who asked Johnny Fontane if he spent time with his kids. He told him that a man who does not spend time with his kids can never truly be a man.
Sage advice for our captains of industry, our judiciary, and our social scientists to remember.
Michael P. Tremoglie is a writer whose work has appeared in the Philadelphia Inquirer, Philadelphia Daily News, Human Events, Front Page and Insight magazines. He is working on his first novel 'A Sense of Duty'. E-mail him at elfegobaca2@earthlink.net
The name of their organization is mislabeled. How can an infant be a parent?
Infant - Parent, Infant& Parent Come on now think a little bit
How many acronyms do you know make a whole lot of sense?
I'm still trying to figure what Opportunities Industrialization Center means or American Civil Liberties Union for that matter. I know what an electricians union is, I know what a states union is, what is a civil liberties union?
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