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Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Stupid (Lightweight it is)
FrontPage Magazine ^ | June 6, 2005 | Don Feder

Posted on 06/06/2005 11:32:51 AM PDT by quidnunc

What can you say about a movie whose most engaging character is a two-foot tall, pointy-eared, green alien? "Star War III: The Revenge of the Sith" is heavy on special effects but sparse on drama, romance, and emotion.

It’s also filled with director George Lucas’s muddled thinking. And, yes, it’s science fiction in the service of Michael Moore’s worldview.

Despite its record-breaking opening, the last Star Wars installment is bad cinema, because it is a poor narrative. The light-saber duels are fun. The alien creations are cool. The attempts to portray passion or the corruption of the human spirit (how a man loses his soul) are pathetic.

In Christensen and Portman, Lucas has found a romantic duo who belong in a remake of "Beach Blanket Bingo." As Anakin Skywalker, Hayden Christensen is a sulking, pretty boy who scowls a lot and attempts to project angst. His transformation from the basically-decent-but-flawed Jedi Knight to the evil Darth Vader is Faust Light.

As former Princess, now Senator, Padme (Anakin’s secret wife), Natalie Portman seems perpetually bewildered. (A condition that probably results from reading too much Jedi philosophy — "Thus Spake Yoda.") Her expressions span the spectrum from looking moonstruck to being perplexed over her husband’s increasingly erratic behavior.

Then there’s Anakin’s less-than-credible conversion to the Dark Side of the Force. The sinister Chancellor Palpatine seduces our young Jedi by promising to give him the power to save his beloved wife from death (of which Skywalker has graphic premonitions). Then, in the climatic scene — believing Padame has betrayed him — Skywalker/Vader tries to strangle his pregnant spouse. "Luke, I’m your father — and I’m confused as hell!"

That’s about all the space the plot deserves.

-snip-


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: moviereview; revengeofthesith; sith; starwars
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To: quidnunc

I really liked the article. He sums up pretty well how Lucas's babyish/contradictory world-view ruined what othwerise could have been a really cool story. He's also right about the acting, it was awful.


121 posted on 06/06/2005 2:12:22 PM PDT by Betaille (Capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; Socialism is the equal sharing of miseries)
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To: Xenalyte
I think he speaks too highly of it. I made the mistake of watching A v P on Movies on Demand and seeing them get together was crap too.

It almost put me off watching Freddy vs Jason. Against expectations, that was an excellent movie.

122 posted on 06/06/2005 2:14:02 PM PDT by jjbrouwer (Chelsea - kings of England!)
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To: af_vet_1981

My friend saw it the other day and said it was entertaining. Russel Crowe is a bit of a dickhead in real life but he is a brilliant actor. I'm definitely going to check it out.


123 posted on 06/06/2005 2:15:48 PM PDT by jjbrouwer (Chelsea - kings of England!)
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To: hugoball

You're wrong. Richard III - Act 1, Scene 2 - in the successful wooing of Lady Anne, wife of the dead Henry VI, who Richard killed in Henry VI (Part 3). Richard offers her his sword, kneels down, admits he killed her husband out of love for her, and she cannot bring herself to strike him.


124 posted on 06/06/2005 2:20:39 PM PDT by ValenB4 ("Every system is perfectly designed to get the results it gets." - Isaac Asimov)
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To: lepton

"but there are a lot of steps towards his turning."

Not in the movie there aren't. He changes his mind 100% in a matter of minutes with no feasible explanation.


125 posted on 06/06/2005 2:21:39 PM PDT by Betaille (Capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; Socialism is the equal sharing of miseries)
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To: ValenB4

You're right, but that's the difference between the female psyche and the male psyche. Young angry men don't wuss out and fall in love with their tormentors.


126 posted on 06/06/2005 2:24:11 PM PDT by Betaille (Capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; Socialism is the equal sharing of miseries)
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To: quidnunc

bump for later


127 posted on 06/06/2005 2:25:02 PM PDT by CharlieOK1 (See http://www.alisrael.com/tamuz/ for what should happen to Iran)
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To: ValenB4; hugoball

Correction. Anne is the wife of Edward, Henry VI's son.


128 posted on 06/06/2005 2:25:32 PM PDT by ValenB4 ("Every system is perfectly designed to get the results it gets." - Isaac Asimov)
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To: frgoff

I watched IV last night, and the acting is equally bad or worse. Hamill is the whiniest character in movie history. Acting is not what made these movies great.

The thing I-III missed was the 'banter' between character in the first three. The dynamics between Luke, Leah, Han, Chewie and the droids are mostly absent in the newer series. It is more about the story and the effects than the characters. I liked them all, except this addition would have made them even better.


129 posted on 06/06/2005 2:26:38 PM PDT by ilgipper
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To: af_vet_1981

So a fantasy can't have a plot?
I stick by my original post.


130 posted on 06/06/2005 2:28:11 PM PDT by Pillows
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To: staytrue
Fine, don't do Faust. But turning to the Dark Side because he had bad dreams about Padme was so lame.
131 posted on 06/06/2005 2:30:25 PM PDT by colorado tanker (The People Have Spoken)
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To: 70times7

Long long ago in a galaxy far far away...

Darth Rumsfeld leads an unceasing attack on the peaceful citizens of the planet Iraqistan and has flushed their treasured wisdom down a toilet on the Guantanamo Base star system.
The great Jedi Biden has undertaken action in the imperial senate to have the Guantanamo Base closed.
Meanwhile, Princess Pelosi and Hillary Skywalker have hid-away in their space-apartment thingy and conceived a child, proving that two people of the same sex are such fit parents that they can concieve a child.
Darth Bush-Cheney meanwhile has undertaken to destroy the treasured Social Star Security system with a privatization scheme.

(No... not poliiticized at all)


132 posted on 06/06/2005 2:32:31 PM PDT by Betaille (Capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; Socialism is the equal sharing of miseries)
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To: Pillows
So a fantasy can't have a plot?

Of course it can have a plot.

In this case Darth Sidious plotted to seduce Anakin to the Dark Side to kill off all the Jedi and set up the Galatic Empire ...

I stick by my original post.

Well, at least you aren't standing by your original post

133 posted on 06/06/2005 2:33:06 PM PDT by af_vet_1981
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To: bootless
I had the same experience, the political jabs just clunked. The line about only the Sith think in absolutes hurt the scene and was downright funny. Half the movie is spent explaining the rules the Jedi have about everything, while it's Palpatine who tells Anni to be flexible and experiment with the Dark Side.
134 posted on 06/06/2005 2:33:47 PM PDT by colorado tanker (The People Have Spoken)
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To: quidnunc

My family and I enjoyed it very much!


135 posted on 06/06/2005 2:33:53 PM PDT by TheGunny
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To: Pillows

As would I, it tied up all loose ends and I thought it was kinda cool how Darth Vader came to be.


136 posted on 06/06/2005 2:35:04 PM PDT by TheGunny
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To: colorado tanker

Lucas wanted to make a story about good and evil, while completely ignoring the implications of it. It is clearly the villains that use moral relativism in their arguments even in Lucas's own movies, and yet later in the same movie he tries to make a political point that only evil people believe in moral absolutes.


137 posted on 06/06/2005 2:37:04 PM PDT by Betaille (Capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; Socialism is the equal sharing of miseries)
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To: mikrofon

"this Sith ...."


138 posted on 06/06/2005 2:38:37 PM PDT by rightwingcrazy
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To: Betaille
You're right, but that's the difference between the female psyche and the male psyche. Young angry men don't wuss out and fall in love with their tormentors.

Palpatine wasn't his tormentor. Palpatine was the only person who actually seemed to appreciate and listen to Anakin while offering him the chance to save Padme. The comparison to the Richard scene is only superficial in that there were swords held to the necks of dissembling leaders taking calculated risks in a dramatic manner. It is also incorrect to suppose that young (or old) men do not fall in love with charismatic leaders who will lead them to their doom. Both genders are equally vulnerable to a leader to plays to a person's emotions, hopes, and fears.

139 posted on 06/06/2005 2:39:03 PM PDT by ValenB4 ("Every system is perfectly designed to get the results it gets." - Isaac Asimov)
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To: quidnunc; marajade
I personally loved the film. The romance scenes were cheesy but at least they were kept minor.

The space battle at the beginning and lightsaber duel at the end were some of the best of all time.

General Grievous was flat out cool. Palpatine/Sidious gave Vader quite the competition regarding best villain.

My only real complaint was that the Mon Mothma sub-plot was pulled from the film.

140 posted on 06/06/2005 2:46:17 PM PDT by Paul_Denton (Get the U.N. out of the U.S. and U.S. out of the U.N.!)
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