Clearly caused by global warming due to greenhouse gases escaping through the hole in the ozone layer caused by aerosols and fossil fuel burning by non-sustainable development and the over-exploitation of the world's resouces by the United States.
Translation: it's all George Bush's fault ;-)
PS: did I leave out any cliches?
You neglected to point out that all aerosols are manufactured by Halliburton.
You forgot that women and minorities, as ever, are hardest hit.