Posted on 05/30/2005 1:58:51 PM PDT by Ultra Sonic
Here's an interesting story about the SAT. As of a couple of years ago, a new test was introduced: the Reasoning test.
There are five topics on the SAT Reasoning Test: Critical Reading, Math, Writing, Multiple Choice, and an Essay.
However, the topic I want to show you is the Essay. Specifically, my own.
The statement that you were required to respond to was: "Do people depend on work - whether it is a job, schoolwork, or volunteer work - to determine what their daily activities with others should be?"
At no point in your essay is your argument strongly directed to this question. You discussed briefly that work will allow people to form friendships and marriages, but completely dismissed how work affects daily activities (for example, how do the daily actions that you carry out by doing work affect friendships and marriages). This is why the sample paragraph was given: "Work works for us. It structures our time and imposes a rhythm on our lives. It gets us organized into various kinds of communities and social groups. And perhaps most important, work tells us what to do every day."
You were instructed to "1) Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on the issue. 2) Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations."
On #1, you have developed a point of view on a different issue; therefore, you get no credit. On #2, I could find no place where you supported the required argument. You make several statements that have nothing to do with how work affects daily activities with others. Aside from these gross errors, you have poor sentence and paragraph structure and have several places where you have used words poorly or incorrectly. You should be happy with a total score of 7. I would not have been so kind if I was grading it.
The most important lesson of the SAT which applies to math, verbal, and essay portions is "answer the question asked".
I would have given you 2s or 3s myself.
I agree. One of the first things I recall in any writing class was to know, and understand your audience. The ability to either bring them to the point of understanding on your level, or reach them at theirs, is based on this.
The only reason for essay tests is so the grader can slant the score however he wants.
I'm well aware that my essay is flawed. I'm not saying that it isn't. I was just using my essay as just an example for a topic of liberalism in academia.
To be honest, I'm a little surprised I did that well. After all, this was the first time I've EVER written an essay to be graded (whether or not this a bad sign for the education system of this country is up to you to decide).
I've still got a ways to go. I acknowledge that.
Thank you for your constructive criticism.
functiona = functional. Even English instructors make typos!
Thank you very much. When I look at it like that, there's a lot more I need to improve upon.
How is it an "example for a topic of liberalism in academia?" What makes you think you got relatively low scores because the scorers were "liberal" and disagreed with you? You're not doing yourself any favors going down this road. You wrote a poor essay and got relatively low grades that reflected that. End of story.
Instead of having a chip on your shoulder at such a young age, learn how to write a correct essay. If you write one like this for a college exam you will fail and deservedly so. And it won't be because the professor is "liberal".
Did you read this article on unwarranted self-esteem? Not entirely relevant to your post but you are laboring under similar self-delusions, albeit yours is a reflexive political defensiveness that ignores the fact that your low grade was deserved (and could have been lower).
Don't handicap yourself like this. Learn.
I'm not trying to handicap myself. It's just a hypothetical topic. Please don't put words in my mouth.
Sorry if I came off a little harsh. I really just hate to see someone so young who's already closed himself off and has a chip on his shoulder.
By the way you wrote "after all, this was the first time I've EVER written an essay to be graded". I find that VERY disturbing! What are they teaching in schools these days?
Eh, I haven't closed myself off. If I had, I'd be ranting on in a blog and being angry at everything instead of actually enjoying myself. :P
As for the latter portion of your post...well, the facts speak for themselves, don't they?
Look, don't be silly. You posted it here because you surmised that your essay got low scores because of some political bias and you wanted our opinion on that. The fact is that it was a poor essay that deserved low scores. I don't see how political bias would even enter into it. If every time you do a poor job and get a deservedly low grade you rush to blame political bias you are handicapping yourself from learning from your mistakes. Don't be like that.
All the more reason to educate yourself. They do make SAT study guides and other books that teach essay-writing.
I used to have to deal with my fellow instructors not passing a paper because they didn't like the essay's approach. They are human, and will knee jerk react. And the way they grade these is probably get a number of people together, and they grade for hours. One person reads it, marks it somehow without the other person knowing the grade, and the second person will grade it then they will total it.
The graders' minds grow numb. The things that stick out are bad grammar and subjects that make them have negative reactions or laugh.
Good grammar and enough length and an adequate, bland if inane paper will get you a higher grade that a controversial paper with errors every time.
Agreed.. Even as a staunch conservative, I would have put said essay in the low C range.
Just last semester I had a sociology professor who was also a "flat out commie". I simply wrote what she wanted to hear, got the 4.0, and was thrilled to be done with it.
I think you use too many questions and do not elaborate on specifically why you believe what you believe. Albeit, you are correct within the essay, you should try to write longer and appease those reading the essay. I've done this mulitiple times and can tell you that the longer the paper and the more it conforms to the minds of those reading it, the better your grade will probably be.
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