Why I'm joining the GOP -- Leaving the left for fun and profit

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 5/29/5 | Jeff Gillenkirk

[SmithL]

After a lifetime voting for and working for Democratic candidates and independents, I'm finally going to make the switch and become a Republican.

The reasons are many, not the least of which is age. I turned 55 recently and, having lived more than half my life, I can't afford to worry anymore about the other guy. It's time for me.

As a Republican, I can now proudly -- indeed, defiantly -- pledge to never again vote for anyone who raises taxes for any reason. To hell with roads, bridges, schools, police and fire protection, Medicare, Social Security and regulation of the airwaves.

President Bush has promised to give me more tax cuts even though our federal government owes trillions of dollars to its creditors. But that's someone else's problem, not mine. Republicans are about the here and now, and I'm here now.

As a Republican, I can favor exploiting the environment for everything she's got. No need to worry about quaint notions like posterity and natural legacy. There are plenty of resources left for everyone, and if we don't use them, someone else will.

. . . Jeff Gillenkirk was a speechwriter for former New York Gov. Mario Cuomo. He lives in San Francisco. Contact us at insight@sfchronicle.com.

[Alia]

Made me laugh, too. It's the "I'm-holding-my-breath-until-everyone-turns-BLUE" type of liberal humor which is aimed at the young, and supposed to connect with "younger" audiences, the teen voter. The author of the article obviously feels threatened by Keith Thompson's recent article, in seriousness, about his leaving the liberal ideologue-based commune of CA.

[raccoonradio]

>>As a Republican, I can now proudly -- indeed, defiantly -- pledge to never again vote for anyone who raises taxes for any reason. To hell with roads, bridges, schools, police and fire protection, Medicare, Social Security and regulation of the airwaves.

Reminds me of a talk show I heard last night on WRKO--usually a conservative station but they have a liberal host on Saturday night, Jay Diamond, and I gave him a shot for the heck of it. He had a guest on from Socialist Alternative.
(Commie!) Diamond started to praise socialism with the old bit about "the Republicans want to wipe out government
but what about maintaining the roads, schools, etc." as if
we'd go THAT far. Sure, you need some government and tax
dollars to support things like that (and the military
too!) but what we don't need is government telling us what to do in every facet of our lives, passing regulations
upon businesses that make them move to other countries,
spending all sorts of money (oh but it's "for the children",
you see...)

(And speaking of which, a socialist government that
would not want vouchers for parents who send their
kids to private schools or homeschools...no, we'll
just placate the liberal teachers' unions...)

"Comes the revolution, comrade, we'll all be eating
strawberries and cream."

"But I don't like strawberries and cream..."

"Comes the revolution, YOU'LL EAT strawberries and cream!!

[raccoonradio]

...oh, and more on Jay Diamond: he's a lefty but not as far to the left as the wacko socialist he had on as a guest. He tried to pin the guy down with "and under socialism would we be able to own our own houses/property?" and the guy admitted, well,
we're so used to that in this country that we probably could.
The guest (Alec Johnson)'s website is http://www.socialistalternative.org if you wanna see more
extreme lefty drivel. What a smart Alec! (/sarcasm)

[raccoonradio]

(from the Socialist Alternative site):
"We see the global capitalist system as the root cause of terrorism, war, poverty, discrimination, and environmental destruction. As capitalism moves deeper into crisis and recession, a new generation of workers and youth must join together to take the top 500 corporations into public ownership (italics mine). We believe the dictatorships that existed in the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe were perversions of what socialism is really about. We are for democratic socialism where people will have control over their daily lives." (No, fascist socialist leaders will have control...) Mr Gates? The socialists are here to take over your office.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

After a lifetime voting for and working for Republican candidates and independents, I'm finally going to make the switch and become a Democrat.

The reasons are many, not the least of which is age. I’ll turn 55 soon and, having lived more than half my life, I can't afford to worry anymore about the other guy. It's time for me.

As a Democrat, I can now proudly -- indeed, defiantly -- pledge to never again vote for anyone who touches Social Security for any reason. To hell with individual responsibility, freedom, national defense, federalism or difficult choices. From now on I want the government to tax the other guy, even if he isn’t born yet, and to satisfy my every whim and fancy.

I won’t need to get real-world training or experience, or work hard, I’ll just demand that the government insure I have a good job with lots of benefits for me and whomever I deem to be my “family”.

I’ll demand cheap gasoline, better auto mileage, safer yet nonpolluting cars, without being bothered by the necessity of drilling for oil, building refineries or dealing with troublesome foreigners.

I’ll demand that my elected officials and appointed judges run roughshod over the written Constitution, legislation and tradition, if it produces a result I favor or if it strokes my vanity and feeds my smug sense of moral superiority over Republicans. If I get a favorable mention in the editorial pages of the New York Times, that’s okay, I can deal with it. (The editorial pages of the NYT for those few 280 million and growing Americans unfamiliar with the grey lady of record is strictly limited to include the entire paper except the baseball box scores and real-estate advertising.)

I’ll demand we adopt the Canadian model of National “Defence” which means to contribute little and complain noisily and constantly about those who are carrying the burden. One inviolate principle we will defend to the death will be the perpetuation of British spelling in North America, eh?

It won’t be easy abandoning principles inculcated over a lifetime, by my family, church and schools but I’ll make the effort, if only for my grandchildren, who, when they are my age and facing working for another twenty plus years to pay off the debts of long gone retirees, will know it’s for a good cause - so grandpa could take a cruise every six months and not worry about paying for their education.

[morinmist]

come now--us citizens use roads, schools etc.
Time to lighten up [look at the irony in this article] and look at what is going on in this country

[HereInTheHeartland]

"I can't afford to worry anymore about the other guy."

I guess the other guy doesn't apply to unborn babies.

[lowbridge]

I can now proudly -- indeed, defiantly -- pledge to never again vote for anyone who raises taxes for any reason. To hell with roads, bridges, schools, police and fire protection, Medicare, Social Security and regulation of the airwaves.

So by the liberals thinking, by not raising taxes, all that will go to hell in a handbasket?

And who says that if we have to get rid of certain things within a budget or face higher taxes, why does it have to be roads, bridges, police, firefighters, etc.? For example, how about saying to hell with taxpayer funding for the arts? Or to hell with funding for the UN? After all, when one has an emergency (a fire, or a crime is being committed, or a loved one is having a heart attack), who do you call? Some taxpayer funded reject of an artist or 911? If a pothole the size of a small car is on your street, who do you call? The UN or the local department of paved roads?

Before our current system of taxation (16th amendment, ratified 1913), we still built roads, bridges, and schools. We had fire and police protection. Medicare and social security? We had insurance companies and pension plans.

(Regulation of the airwaves? Dont want it. And dont see how the level of taxation has anything to do with that.)

[muir_redwoods]

That's the reason he's a democrat, he doesn't understand either party.

[lowbridge]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3748436

Hey, nimrods. How are you guys? :-) How's Andy doing?

[SouthCarolinaKit]

Absolute proof of the demented logic of the 'RAT's. Can't think about anything except how good THEY'll feel if they throw money at other people. Meanwhile the GOP studies and tries to fix their problems regardless of its making them feel good. GOP is for others; DEM's are pretending they're for other while they destroy these same undertrodden people. They've enslaved the minorities who're don't have enough gumtion to get on their own and not depend of the slavemaster
DemocRATs. Pathetic attemp at humor. . . only other stupid 'RATs will be entertained.

[colonialhk]

They, like all left-wing papers are ZOT-ted on their own. Just look at the circulation numbers

[Thom Pain]

"As a Republican, I can now proudly -- indeed, defiantly -- pledge to never again vote for anyone who raises taxes for any reason. To hell with roads, bridges, schools, police and fire protection, Medicare, Social Security and regulation of the airwaves."

Gosh, can you explain how Gov't revenues have INCREASED since the tax rates were reduced?

To quote the a@@wipes of the left, "It's Bush's fault!"

I guess it's just typical of the lefties to remain in a fact-free zone their entire lives. You'd think that in his 55 years he would have accidently stumbled across at least one thought of his own.

[No Dems 2004]

Ahem. What a stupid guy.

[RobFromGa]

Nice job with the parody. I was just getting ready to start my own and I came across yours, so I don't have to do it. You saved me at least twenty minutes-- Thanks a bunch!

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

You saved me at least twenty minutes-- Thanks a bunch!

At a cost to me of fifteen. Someone with more talent and time to invest (say Ann Coulter) could really tear it apart. Please feel free to embellish or improve.

The thing is just so incredibly lame it invites parody. It reminds me of the observation that liberals are like spoiled kids who've never had to face any serious challenges. Dan Rather is bewildered that anyone would question his "journalistic standards". Eason Jordan doesn't understand why everyone doesn't see the obvious truth of the products of his fetid imagination.

The thing was just pathetic.

[John Jorsett]

P.J. O'Rourke and Mark Steyn can write funnier stuff than this in their sleep.

[Col Freeper]

Jeff Gillenkirk

Physical age: 55.

Mental age: 12 (forever).

He's a silly goose, but he's neither an original thinker, nor a funny author.

[GSlob]

Anyone else smell BS? Well, in his own words, "I can't afford to worry anymore about the [SF Chronicle. Not that I ever did] other guy". Why bother sniffing?

[Pearls Before Swine]

As a Republican, I can now proudly -- indeed, defiantly -- pledge to never again vote for anyone who raises taxes for any reason.

Would that this part of the article were true!