Tomb it may concern:
The death of Tut, uncommon from our perspective, was not unusual for an Egyptian pharoh...most were known to dynasty deaths. Death by gangrene is the natural result of exposing Ra flesh to unsanitary conditions, and Tut was known for his poor hygiene; he was nefertiti. The microorganisms responsible for gangrene can be as ravenous as any larger carnarvon. It may be treated with cold packs, but generally, Isis better. Of course, Tut's access to quality medical care was inhibited by the fact that the best Egyptian physicians tend to emigrate to America.
Now I know you're thinking I'm just trying to ramses puns together, and that I should have my literary license suspended for flagrant violations of the law of pun-intended consequences, but the fact of the matter is that I'm being quite Osiris.
Bravo!
showoff!
You had be going until I looked up nefertiti.
Somebody is going to have to shove something up your Sphinx before you stop this.