Posted on 05/11/2005 6:59:03 PM PDT by rface
A word of caution for Laura Bush. Make sure the mike is off before you start telling those jokes. You know the ones I mean. The ones rated XXX by the family values folks who turn out in droves to support George and his friends.
Remember Hillary Clinton . . . oops, "Rodham" Clinton. The time she put on those designer clothes and posed for a fashion layout in Vogue magazine and sold as many copies as Jackie Kennedy to the consternation of her friends.
"She didn't prove, as her advocates insist, that a modern woman can be all things," pouted one woman in a letter to the editor. "She proved that after becoming a powerful lawyer and policy maker, she still needed to be a sex object."
Laura, in a talk at the White House correspondents' dinner, got off a doozy describing husband George's efforts to become a Texas rancher after all those years of book learning at Andover and Yale, with an occasional detour down to Morey's.
I repeat the line in a family newspaper for the simple reason that it is crucial to this column and in no way intended to rouse the prurient interests of the reader, if I have one left after reaching the fifth paragraph.
"He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse," she said. "What's worse, it was a male horse."
It was jokes like that that got me thrown out of Miss Madden's fifth grade class at the Thomas A. Watson School.
I didn't see her tell the joke in the original, which, incidentally, was written by Landon Parvin, one of Ron Reagan's former speech writers, but I got a look at the audience reaction in the reruns.
Democrats laughed uproariously; most Republicans smiled nervously; those Republicans who listen to Rush Limbaugh and read Ann Coulter looked like lobsters that had just been dropped into boiling water by Mary Tyler Moore.
But there is a better than even chance that a good standup routine won't hurt Laura's standing with the American people after all.
Remember Nancy Reagan was pilloried for her practice of accepting the loan of fashionable clothing from American designers, saying she was just giving a boost to the nation's fashion industry. Her advisers convinced her to give them to museums.
Whereupon, as a parting shot, Nancy turned up at the annual Gridiron dinner wearing a garish outfit of prints, a boa and beads, singing, "Secondhand clothes/To museum collections and traveling shows." Critics were charmed.
But no First Lady has ventured so near to the edge as Laura Bush.
"One night," she said, "after George went to bed, Lynne Cheney, Condi Rice and Karen Hughes and I went to Chippendales (a male strip joint). I won't tell you what happened, but Lynne's Secret Service code name is now "Dollar Bill."
Have you guys heard the one about the traveling salesman and the farmer's daughter?
Please.
Spare me the hypocrisy.
Oh well. Im just glad I don't check into FR just so I can find out what value is the right one and get instructions on how to live my life as a conservative. I'd be in the nuthouse if I took some of these people's idea of Life seriously!
Wneighbor, it's good to see you posting again.
Laura was funny. I thought so that night, I thought so the next night and I still think so.
It's my opinion, I won't change it and frankly couldn't care less if anybody disagrees with it.
WHY are you trying to start this up again? Enough already.
I liked it too.
Hi Alkhin! I got that same kind of reaction from some church friends here. Guess I'm not quite squeaky clean enough for 'em... but I don't care. Laura was funny and it wasn't tasteless as they would make it seem. WE are definitely counted amongst the conservative women who actually HAVE a sense of humor! :-)
I got bored - but now it's time for bed. Good Night and sweet dreams TexasFlower
The liberals are not prudish. They simply think you are prudish, and they are trying to make the most of it.
Typical liberal strategy. It's sort of like the fact that they complain about Bush's deficit. They love deficit spending, but they think that since Republicans don't, they can make it into a wedge issue.
Yes ma'am! We, like Laura, can enjoy a little humor and still be fine conservative Texas ladies! :-)
Good night to you rface. :-)
That's right! God Bless Texas!
LOL.
I'm chuckling at the Halloween costume I used sometime in the mid-90's... got a Clinton head mask, put on a suit with swim trunks, and pants around the ankles... walked around the party handing out condoms. Was a big hit.
Better even than my "Alex" costume from Clockwork Orange. Nobody seems to get that one anymore. :-)
Can I be an honorary Conservative Texan lady? I thought it was funny but I'm from Wisconsin . . . does that count me out?
I love the labels of "professionally uptight" and "Perpetually Perturbed Conservative" . . . they made me laugh out loud!
If Hillary had told these jokes about President Bush, the liberals would have thought they were hilarious. Even if she told them about XXX-42, they would have thought they were funny. They just all Republicans and are looking for a reason to feign outrage.
That's nothing. I was drummed out of the Cub Scouts for eating brownies.
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