"And then there was the time I got away from that Deputy that was trying to write me a citation for jaywalking. Man, what a cluck. Get it? What a cluck. Ha Ha - I just kill myself sometimes."
Posted on 05/09/2005 2:17:13 PM PDT by RedBloodedAmerican
Chicken ticketed for crossing the road
RIDGECREST, Calif. (AP) -- Linc and Helena Moore may have finally learned the answer to that age-old question: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken doesn't know jaywalking is illegal.
Kern County Sheriff's Deputy J. Nicholson does know, however. The deputy issued a ticket March 26 because one of the couple's chickens allegedly impeded traffic in Johannesburg, a rural mining community near Ridgecrest, some 220 miles northeast of Los Angeles.
The Moores were in Superior Court on Friday to plead not guilty. A trial was scheduled for May 16.
Nicholson has declined to discuss the matter, but sheriff's Sgt. Francis Moore said chickens on the roadway have been a problem in the community of 50 residents. Officials didn't believe it could be resolved by simply issuing the couple a warning.
"Sometimes you have to let people talk to the judge," Moore said.
The chicken's owners say they believe they were cited because they were among several people who complained that sheriff's deputies haven't done enough to control off-road vehicle riders who create dust and noise in their neighborhood.
Sheriff's officials say that isn't so, adding they are doing what they can to keep off-roaders away from homes.
"The chicken thing has nothing to do with the motorcycle thing," Moore said.
It didn't want to be on the same side as the KFC.
The Govt. has gone crazy.
Jillions of ayrabbs trying to blow up the country.
Tidal wave of who knows what coming over the border.
And this tripe is the govt's priority.
Unbelivable.
to show the armadillo it *could* be done?
"And then there was the time I got away from that Deputy that was trying to write me a citation for jaywalking. Man, what a cluck. Get it? What a cluck. Ha Ha - I just kill myself sometimes."
Hey, is Foghorn Leghorn's right hand trying to cop a feel?
(I didn't want to hurt anyone's delicate feelings by pointing that out.)
GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle of the road here.
JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on this side of the road has been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed beneath the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
COLIN POWELL
Now on the left side of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one told me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay , isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to "the other side". That's what they call it, "the other side". Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like " the other side".
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. Alone. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road. Stay with me, won't you?
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing the road in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.
RONALD REAGAN
Chickens aren't the answer. Chickens are the problem.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before!
LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the Black Man. The chicken crossed "the road" in order to step on the Black Man and repress him!
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
MACHIAVELLI
Who cares why? The point is, the chicken crossed the road. The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
BILL GATES
I have just released Chicken Coop 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system...
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with that chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
AL GORE
I invented the chicken.
COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?
Then let the chickens pay the fine.
How can a chicken be a road hazard. You just run it down - like a cat.
Is the chicken eligible for a public defender?
The chicken crossed the road to observe the going ons of the motorcycle riders and the cops said it was part of a vigilante group.
Good. I've had kids run out into the road and barely been able to stop in time.
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