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REVELATIONS-PART IV
NBC | 05/05/05 | vanity

Posted on 05/05/2005 6:32:08 AM PDT by genefromjersey

REVELATIONS - HOUR 4

(It Only Felt Like 4 Hours of Dreck !)

( Our understanding of this story was bolstered by the sudden appearance of a semi-lucid plot summary in the TV guide.)

The Professor's "son" was kidnapped by Satanists last week. This week,he is still a captive-BUT-he has been "demoted" to step-son.

Hawk (That's actually his name !) is taken into the mountains of New Hampshire by his Satan-worshipping captors.His captors reveal to him the fact his mother is pregnant (Funny: I didn't even know she was off the pill ! Oh,well.)

The captors tell Hawk he is free to leave-BUT-if he does so,his mother's unborn child will be stolen.

Hawk gulps-none too bravely-and says he'll stick around.

Just then,a State Trooper pulls up,and,sensing something is awry-with no pastrami in sight-begins questioning the captors.

The male captor-no doubt incensed by the officer's lack of sensitivity,and his display of male patriarchal authority-beats the trooper's head in with a tire iron.

Hawk gulps some more. ( I did too:the beating went on for a VERY long time !)

Suddenly.....................we are back at Harvard with the Nutty Professor.He is summoned to the campus by his bearded colleague (portrayed with a certain lack of enthusiasm by Rhys Davis).There is SOMETHING in the sky !!

The mystery object-first detected by a space satellite-is something HUGE,and it keeps getting bigger.By the time the commercial break ends,it can be seen with the naked eye !

Bearded professor says it's like a star in the EAST. Nutty Professor rubs his chin thoughtfully, and says: "Yes.But if you are in the Middle East,it will look like a star in the WEST !"

While we are still pondering that conundrum,we are whisked to Canada with the Flying Nun. (Her name is really Sister Jo,by the way.)

The good sister interviews a European refugee woman, who says she was raped by Demons. The poor woman is pregnant,and her sonogram shows she is carrying something that looks like You-Know-Who : Ol' Scratch hisself !!

Meanwhile, the Nutty Professor has succeeded in tracking down one of the former satanists,and is running down leads on where his (recently demoted) stepson, Hawk might be.

Speaking of satanists,Nash T. Bassard is arraigned on charges of kidnapping,torturing, and murdering the Nutty Professor's daughter.

His court appearance is televised,and for unfathomable reasons beamed into the prison where Bassard is detained.His merry antics ( a BIT of over-acting there) in court delight the inmates,who have all become devoted satanists.

Ooops !! We're back to poor little Hawk,who, we have learned,is a virgin.His satanist captors push him off a cliff-into the freezing water-then fish him out. ( I think they may be "un-baptizing" him,but the theological details are a bit unclear.)

Whoa ! The convent where the Brain-Dead Girl is being hidden has been found by the Satanists. They have "infiltrated" the security force, by killing off at least one guard and taking his place.

BUT,the Mother Superior,perspicaceous as usual,senses something is wrong,and calls the Nutty Professor for help.

(People do a lot of "sensing" in this plot,by the way.Now me: I'd dial 911 if I thought the rent-a-cops had gone bad; but,then again,my senses are not that sensitive-if you sense what I mean.)

As noted, this episode lasted an hour-but it felt like four !


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: dreadful; movie; nbc; revelations; series; tv
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1 posted on 05/05/2005 6:32:11 AM PDT by genefromjersey
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To: genefromjersey
Hawk (That's actually his name !)

No. It's Henry. But he now prefers "Hawk".

2 posted on 05/05/2005 6:37:07 AM PDT by theDentist (The Dems are putting all their eggs in one basket-case: Howard "Belltower" Dean.)
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To: genefromjersey

Thanks for posting this review. I wanted to watch this, but alas, I have to work when it comes on. Doesn't
sound like I'm missing much.


3 posted on 05/05/2005 6:37:58 AM PDT by jusduat (I am a strange and recurring anomaly)
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To: genefromjersey
Our understanding of this story is virtually non-existent.
4 posted on 05/05/2005 6:38:01 AM PDT by TheBigB (Can we shave some fuzz off these woofers?)
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To: TheBigB

To tell the truth I'm completely lost and I haven't missed an episode. I got lost on which baby is which and whose mother of what mother they're looking for. I get the general storyline but this show was done very badly IMHO


5 posted on 05/05/2005 6:40:37 AM PDT by billbears (Deo Vindice)
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Comment #6 Removed by Moderator

To: genefromjersey
This program is so disjointed, it is difficult to follow.

Like ABC's Lost, Revelations is losing my interest. Lost loses me with all the character flashbacks. I don't care why the nutcase cast of characters found themselves all on the same flight. The few minor 'current' plots in Lost have been relatively ridiculous. We had weeks of the waving grasses and leavings, only to find that is it a couple of polar bears. lol. And this dumb bunch of characters didn't even bother to explore the island after they crashed? How do they know there isn't a city on the other side of the island? The characters who managed to board this doomed flight weren't the sharpest pencils in the box, for sure.
7 posted on 05/05/2005 6:44:20 AM PDT by TomGuy
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To: jusduat

You can watch it when it gets to Netflix.

You can watch it all at once without commercial interruption.

I've watched all sorts of television series. 5 years of Bab5, three years of 24, Dragonfly, etc.


8 posted on 05/05/2005 6:51:15 AM PDT by montomike (Gay means happy and carefree...not an abomination against nature's check valve.)
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To: genefromjersey

I thought I was the only one completely confused by this show. I was excited when it came on, and had high hopes for it. Unfortunately, it seems that it has been highjacked by nutty Hollywierd types and has fallen away from the Bible completely. Except every once in a while seeing a cross.


9 posted on 05/05/2005 6:51:43 AM PDT by sandbar
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To: theDentist
You sure it's not "Hennery" ? as in:

Hennery Hawk is an awful pest
Never gives a rooster
A moment's rest...

10 posted on 05/05/2005 6:55:07 AM PDT by genefromjersey (So much to flame;so little time !)
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To: genefromjersey
I have watched the show since it began. I figured it would be discussed and if I didn't watch, I couldn't opine. The show IS very disjointed and hard to watch - so much so that during two episodes I went through email while watching. The email (pages of forwards from friends) was more interesting.

Any hope I held that the show would be worth watching dissipated during the first episode. So why have I continued to even semi-watch it? It gives me a break from Hannity & Colmes.

11 posted on 05/05/2005 6:59:39 AM PDT by sageb1
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To: genefromjersey
I lost interest the moment I heard the title "REVELATIONS"....I thought it was suppose to be based upon the Book of Revelation. Is it actually based upon the mormon faith?
12 posted on 05/05/2005 7:27:33 AM PDT by ThisLittleLightofMine
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To: ThisLittleLightofMine

The title refers to the awakening of the characters to revelations about their own spiritual lives, as well as the "end of days"; it is meant to broaden audience interest beyond those scripturally literate, and also to let us know that it is not intended to be a literal cinematic interpretation of the Revelation of John.


13 posted on 05/05/2005 8:14:52 AM PDT by karnage
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To: genefromjersey

Darm, I missed this last night. I think it gets repeated on Bravo later in the week, doesn't it?


14 posted on 05/05/2005 8:19:20 AM PDT by Miss Marple
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To: Miss Marple

Yep.


15 posted on 05/05/2005 8:26:10 AM PDT by genefromjersey (So much to flame;so little time !)
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To: billbears
To tell the truth I'm completely lost and I haven't missed an episode. I got lost on which baby is which and whose mother of what mother they're looking for. I get the general storyline but this show was done very badly IMHO

If you think this show is confusing, never, ever watch "Carnivale" on HBO. "Revelations" is a cakewalk in comparison.

SD

16 posted on 05/05/2005 8:39:41 AM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: genefromjersey
The Professor's "son" was kidnapped by Satanists last week. This week,he is still a captive-BUT-he has been "demoted" to step-son.

I done told you last week that the boy, Hawk, is the Professor's ex-wife's step-son. That is, Dr. Massey had a wife. Then they got divorced. Then she married a man who was also divorced. She had a daughter, Lucy. He had a son, Hawk. Lucy got abducted by Satanists and killed cause she would not cooperate to be their "sacrifice."

Now Hawk got abducted to fulfill the role. In this episode, he was given the choice of doing it himself or letting the Satanists take his not-yet-born half sibling.

(The sibling would be from Hawk's biological mother and some unspecified partner. Not Dr. Massey's ex-wife and Hawk's biological father.)

BUT,the Mother Superior,perspicaceous as usual,senses something is wrong,and calls the Nutty Professor for help. (People do a lot of "sensing" in this plot,by the way.Now me: I'd dial 911 if I thought the rent-a-cops had gone bad; but,then again,my senses are not that sensitive-if you sense what I mean.)

She "senses" something is wrong cause the Satanists had flowers delivered to Olivia, by name. She is the coma girl who no one is supposed to know is there. Obviously, this is a clue that doesn't require ESP to sense that someone is on to them.

You would dial 911 to get help protecting the coma girl you aren't supposed to have from Satanists?

SD

17 posted on 05/05/2005 8:46:38 AM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: Miss Marple
Darm, I missed this last night. I think it gets repeated on Bravo later in the week, doesn't it?

It's been re-running on USA sometimes, too.

SD

18 posted on 05/05/2005 8:47:10 AM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: SoothingDave
So, there is ANOTHER couple...Hawk's mother and stepfather, as opposed to his father and step-mother (whom we have already seen...said stepmother being the professor's ex-wife.)

This is the problem I have with this program...TOO MANY CHARACTERS! It is a failure of the writer, because it seems like every time there is a twist in the plot, new characters are introduced.

Well, I thank you for the clarification, so that when I watch the re-run later in the week I will be able to explain it to my husband.

19 posted on 05/05/2005 9:05:20 AM PDT by Miss Marple
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To: Miss Marple
So, there is ANOTHER couple...Hawk's mother and stepfather, as opposed to his father and step-mother (whom we have already seen...said stepmother being the professor's ex-wife.)

I don't know if there is a step-father. Hawk obviously has a mother and you are right that she has only been introduced in order to show her deeply pregnant and to provide Hawk with a dilemma.

This is the problem I have with this program...TOO MANY CHARACTERS! It is a failure of the writer, because it seems like every time there is a twist in the plot, new characters are introduced.

To some extent a complex story must involve many characters and we have limited time to get to know them. But to some extent it is a failure in writing to introduce a character just to tug at heartstrings or to move a plot point.

I like that TV is trying to do some more involved stories. Formulaic sitcoms and cop dramas get old. I like to thank NBC for trying to do something different. It's not the best show ever, but it is interesting enough to keep me watching through its 6 episodes. Where they go from there remains to be seen.

SD

20 posted on 05/05/2005 9:16:33 AM PDT by SoothingDave
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