[Lady Jag]

FELIZ EL CINCO DE MAYO!!!

5-5-5

It's a a great day to play being a Taurus!!

Horrorscope
Thursday, May 5, 2005

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

In a daring intellectual coup, you will translate a collection of Zen koans from Chinese directly into Jive, in an attempt to combine the best elements of philosophical thought and emotion. You will title the collection "Yo Mama By The River."

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Someone will ask you how you are, today, for the millionth time, and you know they actually couldn't care less. I've found that the best reply in this case is usually "Did you know that there's a spider on your neck?"

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Most people are aware that it's supposed to be good luck to toss a pinch of salt over your left shoulder. Today you will discover that it's even better luck to toss a carton of yogurt over your right shoulder.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

It will occur to you to wonder, what if Jesus had actually said "The geek shall inherit the earth", but was just misquoted? Then you'll think of Bill Gates. Then you'll start to worry.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Everyone you see will be "power walking" today. Ignore them -- they're just trying to get on your nerves.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Good day to learn to play the tuba.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)

You've been complaining too much, lately. You might find more to enjoy in your life by watching a documentary about a lot of people starving to death in miserable third-world slums. I know that always cheers me right up!

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Today will be mostly OK, except that you'll learn to pay more attention in the future to the phrase "Careful, filling is hot!."

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Someone will tell you today "Boy, what a girl goes through to send her brother through proctology school." Despite being forwarned, you won't have anything to say.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

A relative will be seriously injured today, when a man dressed as a huge shrimp abandons his post at the opening of a seafood restaurant, steals an experimental hovercraft, and crashes it into your relative's motor vehicle. The worst part is, the insurance company will refuse to pay a cent.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Everyone you work with will start spending a lot of time balancing things on their nose. This could be bad. You may have a renegade seal trainer lurking in your midst!

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

At the same moment you read this, someone will be thinking about you and smiling. In a moment, they'll be laughing outright.

[Darksheare]

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Most people are aware that it's supposed to be good luck to toss a pinch of salt over your left shoulder. Today you will discover that it's even better luck to toss a carton of yogurt over your right shoulder.




Gaaaah!
Someone jsut tossed salt in my eye!

And now I've been hit with yogurt!

[blackie]

"Today will be mostly OK, except that you'll learn to pay more attention in the future to the phrase "Careful, filling is hot!."

Does this cover dropped 't's', too?

[international american]

"In a daring intellectual coup, you will translate a collection of Zen koans from Chinese directly into Jive, in an attempt to combine the best elements of philosophical thought and emotion. You will title the collection "Yo Mama By The River." "

Leave ma momma outa this!!

Besides I am far too busy translating all the works of Shakespeare into pig latin......

[AZamericonnie]

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) A relative will be seriously injured today, when a man dressed as a huge shrimp abandons his post at the opening of a seafood restaurant, steals an experimental hovercraft, and crashes it into your relative's motor vehicle. The worst part is, the insurance company will refuse to pay a cent.

Ya know I googled "shrimp man in a hovercraft" & oddly enough no images appeared! What gives?

[E.G.C.]

((HUGS))Good afternoon, Lady Jag. How's it going?

BTW, folks Microsoft will be realeasing one security update for Windows in addition to an updated version of their Malicious Software Removal Tool on Tuesday. Watch for those updates if you use Microsoft.

[Diva Betsy Ross]

I know it has not escaped you gals ... Looked at the calendar lately? Know what month this is?