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More 20-somethings depending on parents again
The Sun News ^
| 5/2/05
| Rick Montgomery
Posted on 05/02/2005 8:31:54 AM PDT by qam1
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To: RockinRight
I hear that. I moved out of my parent's house two days after graduating from HS (mid-80's). I had just turned 17 (skipped 10th grade) right before graduation and my folks had to sign the lease on my studio apartment because I was still a minor.
I was at that age that I "knew" everything and decided that I was going to take a few years off before going to college. I worked to two crappy jobs to afford my place. I didn't care because I had my "freedom". Well surprise, surprise, the folks "knew" even more and told me that they would not support me..and they didn't. After two years I saw the light and went to college.
On the day of my college graduation the folks told me that their checkbook was officially closed. Their graduation gift to me was a check for security deposit and first month's rent for a new apartment; had already landed a job.
That was the final push from the nest.
101
posted on
05/02/2005 11:49:54 AM PDT
by
ut1992
(Army Brat)
To: cyborg
I am just using cyborg's post as a jumping off point, since it's the last one I came across.
My husband likes to say that he is the only one of his family who did not come back home. Of course not. When we were 20 we moved in with my dad. But, it was only for a few months. We have lived on our own since.
The conversation about degrees is interesting. Since I homeschool I have wondered what would be the best way to guide my children in about 10 years when the first is in the college years. I told them we would try to help out, but we would not be paying their way through college (we have five children), if they want us to be able to take care of ourselves when we grow old.
What are the best suggestions in the next ten or twenty years to get into a god job market?
102
posted on
05/02/2005 11:56:48 AM PDT
by
HungarianGypsy
(Walk Softly, For a Dream is Born)
To: HungarianGypsy
Right now the health field looks good. I intend on staying in it for as long as possible.
103
posted on
05/02/2005 12:00:45 PM PDT
by
cyborg
(Serving fresh, hot Anti-opus since 18 April 2005)
To: HungarianGypsy
BTW, I should have said good job market, not god job market. :-)
104
posted on
05/02/2005 12:01:48 PM PDT
by
HungarianGypsy
(Walk Softly, For a Dream is Born)
To: HungarianGypsy
BTW, I should have said good job market, not god job market. :-)
105
posted on
05/02/2005 12:01:51 PM PDT
by
HungarianGypsy
(Walk Softly, For a Dream is Born)
To: Flightdeck
"My brother had to live with my folks for a few months after college, and they charged him $400/month rent. I thought that was pretty funny."
Several years ago we charged my daughter nominal rent to live with us (she was out of school and working). Of course, we put her rent in the bank and returned the money to her when she rented and moved to an apartment three years ago. More recently my son and his wife (expecting) moved in with us for several months whild he was relocating and starting a new job. We didn't charge them rent as they were actively saving for a house which they bought and moved into in February. In both cases we were supportive parents, not landlords, and the kids had a plan. We enjoyed it all but Mom (now Grandma) and I were glad to see them move on.
To: peter the great
One other aspect that will probably be missed is that the support network that people used to have is no longer what it used to be. Years ago people would marry younger but even then you had relatives real close by to lend a helping hand that is not the case today.
Bingo!
I don't live with my folks, but they, my grandparents, my brother and myself all live within 15 minutes of each other. We share burdens without having to live under the same roof. So many broken families don't have that option. Often a kid lives at home just to help the single mom make ends meet.
One of the most vocal proponents of strong family ties I ever met was an atheist social anthropology professor I had. He advocated American families actually incorporating and pooling resources much like the families in tribal cultures. Because we're all taught to believe we need to strike out on our own, instead of building on what previous generations have accomplished, every American generation is continually starting from scratch.
It was about the only sane thing I ever remember him saying.
To: qam1
"Every generation has its rites of passage, and it used to be getting a driver's license," said Janet Rose, a lecturer of American studies at UMKC. "But at the moment, something like body piercing seems as meaningful a rite of passage."Body piercings? I guess in my mid-30's I still haven't grown up yet.
Comment #109 Removed by Moderator
Comment #110 Removed by Moderator
To: macaroona
Great post, I agree. I live with my family but I'm no sponge, in fact, my brother and I pay most of the household bills (my parents have fallen on hard times). I also cook all the meals. In exchange, I get a safe environment to work on my own goals.
Comment #112 Removed by Moderator
To: qam1
I think it might have something to do with the parents not wanting to give them up. I work with 3 50 yo's who have college age kids...all of them encoaraged their kids to go to school close to home and all of them are in contact daily..much closer than I was to my parents at that age. Hell one of them even tracked his kid on springbreak via cellphone.
113
posted on
05/02/2005 12:36:19 PM PDT
by
dg62
To: qam1
*sigh
But it's hard to pay those huge CC bills they racked up in order to live in the style that Mommy and Daddy got them accustomed to.
114
posted on
05/02/2005 12:38:30 PM PDT
by
WolfRunnerWoman
(I want closure on the word "closure".)
To: blueminnesota
Would you rather have them depending on their families or depending on welfare? With housing prices what they are sometimes that is the option. It's not always about being sponges. Anyway, if the parents agree to it it's nobody else's business.Amen and thank you. If the 'kid' in question is working or going to grad school, contributing to the family coffers (I don't think they should live for free, but neither should they pay market rates), and doing chores, what in the world is wrong with them being at home? What happened to a happy family life and enjoying your children, no matter what their age?
Just my two cents, but I bet those who are at home are at least living somewhat more wholesome lives than many of the young adults out on their own.
115
posted on
05/02/2005 12:44:53 PM PDT
by
radiohead
(revote in washington state)
To: qam1
Researchers now prefer the term "adultescence," and they're not kidding. The life stage between the late teens and late 20s is undergoing what many describe as a permanent transformation brought on by economic, educational and even biological forces, all irreversible. IRREVERSIBLE ? I've got 6000+ years of civilized history that says my son's gonna do just fine when he hits the bricks at 18.
Come by for a meal, stay for a couple months if you hit hard times, borrow some money, but you don't live here anymore.
116
posted on
05/02/2005 12:44:58 PM PDT
by
Centurion2000
(The rule of law is dead in this country)
To: JimRed
My 27 yr old daughter is back ..........WITH 2 grandkids. Full House! She's been divorced and struggling.......then decided to go back to school. This may take awhile. lol
117
posted on
05/02/2005 12:46:27 PM PDT
by
LaineyDee
(Don't mess with Texas .....wimmen!)
To: Myrddin
I think for being so smart and smug you should write in complete sentences. I guess you already know your that smart though?
118
posted on
05/02/2005 12:59:28 PM PDT
by
Waterleak
(I pity the fool)
To: A. Pole
This a normal human arrangement. Children when they grow up they become the heads of the household and their old parents "live at home".
That way the old parents/grandparents have place to stay and well deserved support while they contribute to the care for grandchildren. Nothing more normal! Sooner this age-long and correct custom is restored the better.
I agree. I think we all bought into the idea that when a kid turns 18, "birds must fly, fish must fry" as the saying goes, but in my earlier point, it was more or less an abberation in the mid to late 20th Century. I know someone elsem ade the point too but in rural areas, when a kid gets married, he was given a plot of land to farm or if his family was in a business a certain responsibility in the business with the aim of running it someday. Even if the parents are old but still able to work or do something, they pitched in, either with everyone else or handle the easier tasks. As much I deplore the way the economy is headed, the only good thing about it is hopefully we will turn back to our families and God again, adversity often does that. When I read those old books I mentioned ("Susan Lenox" for example), the downside is that they still emphasize the material side of things while discounting the spiritual side or muting it and staying focused on the dark side so at times, they do fall short, but they still hold a lot of truth to where things were and could be going.
119
posted on
05/02/2005 1:10:55 PM PDT
by
Nowhere Man
(Lutheran, Conservative, Neo-Victorian/Edwardian, Michael Savage in '08! - Any Questions?)
To: xsrdx
That has to have a lot to do with it - the electronics, automotive and "home improvement" industries have every 20 year old thinking he/she has to have a 60" plasma on the wall and a BMW in the driveway - MTV Cribs and whatnot.
Valid points as well. In my case, I'm still watching the same TV we got when I was in 10th grade, a 1982 Zenith that we got in early 1983. Heck, when we got that TV, it was cable ready and MTV came in fine, trouble is, they only played music videos then. B-)
120
posted on
05/02/2005 1:14:52 PM PDT
by
Nowhere Man
(Lutheran, Conservative, Neo-Victorian/Edwardian, Michael Savage in '08! - Any Questions?)
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