Posted on 05/01/2005 4:20:51 PM PDT by Wolfstar
PRESIDENTIAL NEWS OF THE DAY: The President and First Lady attended Sunday morning church services at St. Johns, and were spending a quiet day at the White House.
TRANSCRIPT OF THE DAY: While I could not find an official transcript of the First Lady's remarks last night, I didi find the next best thing by cobbling together several news reports.
First Lady Laura Bush has stolen the show with a surprise comedy routine that teases her husband President George W Bush.
The performance at a dinner honouring award-winning journalists brought a standing ovation from the audience -- that included much of official Washington and a dash of Hollywood.
The president pretended to start a planned a speech last night at the 91st annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner, but was quickly "interrupted" by his wife in an obviously planned ploy. "Not that old joke, not again," she said to the delight of the audience. "I've been attending these dinners for years and just quietly sitting there. I've got a few things I want to say for a change."
GWB sat down and Laura proceeded to note that he is "usually in bed by now," and said she told him recently, "If you really want to end tyranny in the world you're going to have to stay up later." She outlined a typical evening: "Nine o'clock, Mr. Excitement here is sound asleep and I'm watching Desperate Housewives." Comedic pause. "With Lynne Cheney." Comedic pause. "Ladies and gentlemen, I am a desperate housewife."
The First Lady went on to quip that one night she went out to Chippendales, a male strip bar, with Lynne Cheney, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and top Bush aide Karen Hughes.
"I wouldn't even mention it, except (Supreme Court Justices) Ruth Ginsberg and Sandra Day O'Connor saw us there," she said. "I won't tell you what happened. But Lynne's secret service code name is now 'dollar bill'."
Laura Bush also joked about the president's mother Barbara Bush. "People think she's a sweet grandmotherly aunt Bea type. She's actually more like (fictional Mafia capo) Don Corleone."
She said that her husband actually knew little about ranching when they bought their ranch in Crawford, Texas.
"I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year, when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse," she said.
The president now often spends time at the ranch clearing brush and cutting trails. "George's answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with a chainsaw. Which I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well."
You better not give Fudd Fan my toaster, snugs! :)
I like Condi's hair that way. I hope it's a cut.
I remember your mentioning that, and that you did work for your mom.
I've been in transcription for 20-plus years, and I love it. Never does a day go by that I don't learn something new.
The field will change quite a bit in the coming years, with voice recognition and such, but it's a good and interesting profession.
She was my hero at the Reagan Funeral, I'll never forget her kind words for Ronnie.
Well, snugs, if you had read some of the Church Lady wannabes on the threads about Laura's speech, you might agree that there is a serious deficit of humor and perspective in some corners.
One poster, Hildy, who is the undisputed queen of hysterical overreaction, was making bold predictions that this country was now going to be brought down by God -- all because the First Lady told a few slightly risque jokes to an audience of adults. And probably because the President laughed at them. God is presumably horrified about this and will strike us down shortly as the next Sodom and Gomorrhah.
With Dick in 1959
My mom likes it cuz she gets to stay at home and be here when my little brother gets home from school. I can type fast but recently I've had problems with my wrists so it takes me a lot longer to get done :( Typing for short periods of time isn't a problem but after about half an hour, my wrists start hurting.
I do too. She really sparkled last night, as did Lynne Cheney. I think they both got a huge kick out of Laura's roast last night.
BTW, someone said Condi was there with an escort. Anyone see him?
Some of the same who are upset with Laura were against trying to save the life of Terri Schiavo.
Mr. Sourpuss also reportedly mentioned how it was not a performance fit for his 3 year old, or something along that line. Hmmm, where was he during the Clinton/Monica years, and kids finding out about things like oral sex?
I have no doubt that things will be said about President Bush's conservative Christian base. This conservative Christian was not offended by anything which was said. So sorry to disappoint them. ;-p
I was just teasing before; however, I still ADAMANTLY maintain that while the First Lady was her usual charming self last evening she should NEVER have uttered at least two (possibly four) quips at such a function:
QUIP ONE:
"I mean if those women on that show think they're desparate, they ought to be with George!"
[The demeaning words, and the disdainful way in which she delivered them, made me both wince and groan . . . and when an audience comprised of secular hedonists reacted the same way (after hearing their reaction, Laura actually paused and looked at the President before continuing) one must KNOW that the comment had crossed the line from witty to mean!!]
QUIP TWO:
The 'milking the male horse' comment (I'm not even going to review the tape for the exact quote) . . . again, when an audience of secular hedonists groans one must know that she just took a joke one step too far!
[BTW: NO ONE will remember what the First Lady said at the end of her routine; they will only remember what she 'confirmed' during the body of her comments -- the President is boring, lazy, stupid, and fake (the ranch is just a PR backdrop 'don't you know') and his mother is even worse!
And, as predicted, all of the foreign newspapers ran with headlines juxtaposing "First Lady" with "Desparate Housewife" . . . Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?!]
Oh, I hear ya on the wrist thing. I have my desk set up ergonomically with data arm supports, a raised mouse pad, a footrest and an adjustable keyboard. I also do stretching exercises many times a day.
I thought about working from home because it sounds so nice to be able to type in my PJs, but I've always gotten up and gone to work, and do not know if I'd have a very good work ethic working from home. It'd be too easy to tell myself I could go out with friends for a little bit, and do the typing later. Not to mention, my financial situation is such that I am renting a room now, and there'd be no room for the set up I would need.
I saw a biography on VP Cheney, and Lynn was very beautiful (and still is). I could totally see why he started going with her, as she with him.
Nice find, Snugs!
Bingo!
Didn't see him, but probably the same man she has been seen with numerous times in the past decade. Gene Washington, an ex pro-football player and current executive in that sport, in some capicity, I believe. When asked, they have always said they are "friends". The sticking point I believe is that he is separated from a wife who refuses to give him a divorce or something. This has gone on for years. He has grown kids.
Don't worry your toaster is safe
Glad I did not see them I would not have been able to not get involved and probably then it would have just be a waste of time.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.