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Republican joins Bolton hearing monkey biz (Steyn comes to the plate)
Chicago Sun Times ^ | April 24, 2005 | Mark Steyn

Posted on 04/24/2005 3:35:28 AM PDT by finnigan2

Britain's Daily Telegraph had an intriguing headline the other day: ''U.S. police force to recruit capuchin monkey for 'intelligence' work.'' Maybe when the Mesa, Ariz., SWAT team is through with the monkey in question, we could get him made chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. He'd have his work cut out doing a worse job than Dick Lugar, the Republican senator who spent the last week getting walloped by a freak show alliance comprising (a) an opposition party whose foreign policy the electorate decided it was unable to take seriously and (b) jelly-spined GOP ''moderates'' who insist on taking it seriously. And so it was that John Bolton's nomination to the U.N. was derailed by this guy Voinovich.

As Shakespeare didn't quite say, who is Voinovich? What is he? Well, he's a fellow called George, and he's apparently a senator from Ohio who's on this Foreign Relations Committee. He was, alas, unable to interrupt his hectic schedule to attend either of the committee's hearings for John Bolton's U.N. nomination, but nevertheless decided last week he could not bring himself to support Bolton's nomination. ''My conscience got me,'' he said. Maybe one day his conscience will get him to attend the hearings he's paid to attend, but, for the moment, his conscience is more troubled by the story brought up by the senior Democratic obstructionist Joe Biden. As Sen. Biden put it, ''The USAID worker in Kyrgyzstan alleges that she was harassed -- not sexually harassed -- harassed by Mr. Bolton.''

This was a decade ago, in some hotel. John Bolton allegedly chased this woman down a corridor in a non-sexual manner. It's not clear from Biden whether he would have approved had she been chased down the corridor in a sexual manner, as the 42nd president was wont to do. But the non-sexual harassment was instead about policy matters relating to Kyrgyzstan. Maybe Bolton was in a foul mood or maybe he was in a vowel mood and, this being Kyrgyzstan, they didn't have any. But this is what the pitiful constitutional travesty of the Senate's ''advise and consent'' role has now dwindled down to: a sex scandal with no sex. All talk and no action. Only in America, folks. Or, to be more precise, only in the U.S. Senate.

I'll bet Pope Benedict XVI is glad that his conclave doesn't include either Cardinal Biden or Cardinal Voinovich, or his church would be pontiff-less indefinitely while they ''investigated'' last-minute rumors that he'd been off-hand to some guy in seminary 55 years ago. I had no strong views about the new pope one way or another, but I'd have voted for him just for the pleasure of seeing him drive the U.S. media bananas. Apparently, the New York Times was stunned that their short list of Cardinal Gloria Steinem, Cardinal Rupert Everett and Cardinal Rosie O'Donnell were defeated at the last moment by some guy who came out of left field and isn't even gay or female but instead belongs to the discredited ''Catholic'' faction of the Catholic Church.

Unlike the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, the conclave of cardinals takes its job seriously. They understand the demands of the New York Times: women priests, gay sex, condoms for all. But, as befits an ancient institution, they take the long view: They think that radical secularism is weak and that the consequences of its weakness will prove dangerous and possibly fatal for the Western world. Therefore, there's no point accommodating it -- and, after all, those churches that do (the Episcopalians, for example) are already in steep decline. You can disagree with this, particularly if you're as shrill and parochial as Pope Benedict's American critics. But the conclave at least addressed the big issues.

By contrast, at a time of great geopolitical turbulence, all the senior foreign relations figures in the upper house of the national legislature of the most powerful nation on the face of the Earth can do is retail lame smears from the early '90s and late '80s. Last week, Newt Gingrich visited New Hampshire -- strictly for the beautiful defoliated trees and meandering washed-out washboard roads of scenic late-April Mud Season, you understand; nothing to do with putative presidential campaigns or anything like that. Anyway, a surprisingly large number of hitherto quiescent Granite State Republicans demanded to know what's the deal with the inept and unreliable GOP senators. Newt gave pretty much the standard reply: Well, you must understand the party's still not used to being in charge of Congress. If they'd taken the first poll of the 2008 primary right there and then, he'd have dropped off the graph.

Newt's answer was just about plausible in 1995. But after a decade in charge? The Iraqi people are expected to get the hang of this self-government thing in 20 minutes, but the Republican Party requires another decade or three? The Democrats lost in 2004 for two reasons: their lack of credibility on national security issues, and their descent into mindless obstructionism. Remember Tom Daschle? Me neither. But if you go to the local library and dig up all the yellowing clippings, you'll find he used to be in the papers pretty much every day until the second week of November.

The weak bromides touted by the Dems in lieu of a policy -- a legalistic approach to the war on terror, greater deference to the U.N. and America's ''friends'' -- were defeated at the polls. Since then, they've been further discredited: The failure of terrorist prosecutions in Europe underlines how disastrous John Kerry's serve-'em-with-subpoenas approach would be; the sewer of the Oil-for-Food scandal and the attempts by Kofi Annan to castrate the investigation into it demonstrate yet again that there is no problem in the world today that can't be made worse by letting the U.N. have a hand in solving it; and America's ''friends'' -- by which Kerry meant not allies like Britain and Australia but the likes of France and Canada -- turn out to be some of the countries most implicated in the corruption of U.N. ''humanitarianism.''

Republican voters understand this. Why don't Republican senators? The rap against John Bolton is that he gets annoyed with do-nothing bureaucrats. If that's enough to disqualify you from government service, then 70 percent of citizens who've visited the DMV in John Kerry's Massachusetts are ineligible. Sinking Bolton means handing a huge psychological victory to a federal bureaucracy that so spectacularly failed America on 9/11 and to a U.N. bureaucracy eager for any distraction from its own mess. The Democrats' interest in derailing Bush foreign policy is crude but understandable. But why would even the wimpiest Republican ''moderate'' want to help them out? Who needs capuchin monkeys in the Senate when GOP squishes are so eager to tap-dance for Democrat organ grinders?


TOPICS: Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: 109th; bolton; ilovesteyn; marksteyn; steyn; ussenate
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To: tkathy
Every move the reps make is vilified and trashed by the MSM.

Raise money. Buy The New York Times. Put Mark Steyn in charge. Then act in decisive, when neccessary - aggressive manner.

61 posted on 04/24/2005 2:10:20 PM PDT by Neophyte (Nazists, Communists, Islamists... what the heck is the difference?)
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To: TheBlueMax

Please see my tag line.


62 posted on 04/24/2005 3:16:03 PM PDT by GretchenM (Tom Daschle still calls the shots -- via Harry Reid.)
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The failure of terrorist prosecutions in Europe underlines how disastrous John Kerry's serve-'em-with-subpoenas approach would be; the sewer of the Oil-for-Food scandal and the attempts by Kofi Annan to castrate the investigation into it demonstrate yet again that there is no problem in the world today that can't be made worse by letting the U.N. have a hand in solving it...

The man exceeds himself.

63 posted on 04/24/2005 3:20:25 PM PDT by GretchenM (Tom Daschle still calls the shots -- via Harry Reid.)
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To: finnigan2
Maybe one day his conscience will get him to attend the hearings he's paid to attend, but, for the moment, his conscience is more troubled by the story brought up by the senior Democratic obstructionist Joe Biden.

LOL!

64 posted on 04/24/2005 3:22:25 PM PDT by Paul Ross (Working for God on earth does not pay much, but His Retirement plan is out of this world.)
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To: finnigan2
Maybe one day his conscience will get him to attend the hearings he's paid to attend, but, for the moment, his conscience is more troubled by the story brought up by the senior Democratic obstructionist Joe Biden.

LOL!

65 posted on 04/24/2005 3:22:26 PM PDT by Paul Ross (Working for God on earth does not pay much, but His Retirement plan is out of this world.)
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To: GretchenM

My favorite quote:

"Apparently, the New York Times was stunned that their short list of Cardinal Gloria Steinem, Cardinal Rupert Everett and Cardinal Rosie O'Donnell were defeated at the last moment by some guy who came out of left field and isn't even gay or female but instead belongs to the discredited 'Catholic' faction of the Catholic Church."

He is at the top of his game with this article. When he's on, as he is on in this article, the man makes Ann Coulter look like George Will.


66 posted on 04/24/2005 3:39:50 PM PDT by LibertarianInExile (The South will rise again? Hell, we ever get states' rights firmly back in place, the CSA has risen!)
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To: Pokey78
Republican voters understand this. Why don't Republican senators?

Are there any Republican Senators? Or just a bunch of Democrats who happen to have an R next to their names?

67 posted on 04/24/2005 3:54:24 PM PDT by irv
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To: finnigan2

To the top.

68 posted on 04/24/2005 3:57:24 PM PDT by Watery Tart (Let the troof be toad. ®)
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To: spodefly

Steyn is one of the few journalists that can visualize the big picture and see how this all fits together. Thanks in part to Styen, for the first time Canadian Conservatives see that the ousting of Canadian Liberals is really part of a wider International Revolution that is far bigger and much more significant than catching a few crooked Quebec libs with thier hands in the cookie jar. This revolution is happening fast and terrifying for all Liberals and Socialists to face, having to witness the crumbling of 65 years of social manipulation in thier attempt to put a new face on mankinds basic natural laws that evolved over millions of years. Now you know why they see George W. Bush as "Scarey" and so they should


69 posted on 04/24/2005 4:20:19 PM PDT by albertabound (It's good to beeeeee Albertabound.)
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To: MeekOneGOP; devolve; potlatch; Miss Marple; Samwise
Per Miss Marple's excellent suggestion, just faxed article to Lugar with this para circled:

Britain's Daily Telegraph had an intriguing headline the other day: ''U.S. police force to recruit capuchin monkey for 'intelligence' work.'' Maybe when the Mesa, Ariz., SWAT team is through with the monkey in question, we could get him made chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. He'd have his work cut out doing a worse job than Dick Lugar, the Republican senator who spent the last week getting walloped by a freak show alliance comprising (a) an opposition party whose foreign policy the electorate decided it was unable to take seriously and (b) jelly-spined GOP ''moderates'' who insist on taking it seriously. And so it was that John Bolton's nomination to the U.N. was derailed by this guy Voinovich.

Senator Richard Lugar
306 Hart SOB
Washington, DC 20510
Phone 1-202-224-4814
Fax 1-202-228-0360

Also faxed a letter last week and a letter today.

Lugar, it will be remembered, got together with Sam Nunn to be sure our homeless Russian friends have enough to eat and someone to pay for their nuclear waste and stockpile security, freeing up their rubles for development of the new Topol-M road-mobile and sub-launched MIRVed ICBM with which to target us.

Then for him to constantly snipe at our president from behind Howdy Doody's choppers (and with Howdy Doody's gray matter) is perhaps a capuchin monkey too far.

70 posted on 04/24/2005 5:29:47 PM PDT by PhilDragoo (Hitlery: das Butch von Buchenvald)
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To: PhilDragoo; Miss Marple

As much as it pains me to say this, Lugar is a walking advertisement for term limits. I grew up really liking the man.


71 posted on 04/24/2005 5:33:23 PM PDT by Samwise (We apologize for the inconvenience.)
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To: PhilDragoo; devolve; potlatch; Miss Marple; Samwise
bump!


72 posted on 04/24/2005 5:36:23 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP (There is only one GOOD 'RAT: one that has been voted OUT of POWER !! Straight ticket GOP!)
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To: PhilDragoo; Samwise
Ha! I have always thought he looked like Howdy Doody, too!

I would have been happy if he had retired and let someone else run for his seat. But NOOOO, he had to hang on and now I am totally disgusted with him. Bah!

73 posted on 04/24/2005 5:38:21 PM PDT by Miss Marple
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To: PhilDragoo; All

Phil and all: the monkey story was posted, toasted and roasted here on FR. Post 70 links to the department site that debunks the story as a myth, also copied below.

US police force to recruit capuchin monkey for 'intelligence' work
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1388592/posts

Mesa Police Department Responds to East Valley Tribune Article and Inquiries
http://citydoc.cityofmesa.org/stellent/groups/public/documents/news/nr_swat_monkey_041805.hcsp#TopOfPage


Meanwhile, you're right about RINOs and Term Limits....


74 posted on 04/24/2005 5:42:25 PM PDT by The Spirit Of Allegiance (ATTN. MARXIST RED MSM: I RESENT your "RED STATE" switcheroo using our ELECTORAL MAP as PROPAGANDA!)
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To: LibertarianInExile
He is at the top of his game with this article. When he's on, as he is on in this article, the man makes Ann Coulter look like George Will.

Steyn so on his game that he is the Iron Man. Bump!

75 posted on 04/24/2005 6:07:40 PM PDT by Ruth A.
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To: PhilDragoo

Bump!!!!


76 posted on 04/24/2005 6:25:31 PM PDT by Rummyfan
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To: finnigan2
I can't even manage to laugh as usual at Styen's sterling prose. I'm too pissed. I wanna see some white hot anger, indignation and ass kicking from the pubbies on Foreign Relations, and now.
77 posted on 04/26/2005 8:01:54 AM PDT by Stultis
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