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Conclave Confidential: One Cardinal's Secret Diary
Los Angeles Times ^
| 04/20/05
| PATT MORRISON
Posted on 04/20/2005 8:39:54 AM PDT by Fred
Conclave Confidential: One Cardinal's Secret Diary
Locked down amid the frescoes and thoughts of flan.
Patt Morrison
April 20, 2005
The conclave journal of Roger Cardinal Mahony:
Opening Day, minus 1. Checked into the Casa Santa Marta hotel and I got a top-floor room! I asked about a low-carb menu; I don't want to nod off after a big pasta lunch huge embarrassment.
Isn't it funny I have to come all the way to Rome to cast a vote that actually counts. The first ballot is tomorrow, but even four votes a day plus prayer surely can't take up the whole time? Glad I brought my free weights with me.
Hope St. Martha's lets me keep the little shampoos. My hair usually looks terrible after being under a zucchetto all day, but today it looked great. Oops, my bad must mention vanity at confession.
Cardinal B worries we might be too comfy here. He reminded us of the conclave of 1271 when there was no pope after three years of deliberating, and they locked up the cardinals in an old rat-trap and fed them bread and water. When they still didn't elect a pope, people took the roof off. He thinks these creature comforts aren't such a good idea. I felt like saying, "From your lips to God's ears not!"
(Excerpt) Read more at latimes.com ...
TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: angeles; conclave; los; mahoney; mahony; pope; roger; scandals; sex; vatican
1
posted on
04/20/2005 8:39:59 AM PDT
by
Fred
To: Fred
Who'll bet me they'd never do something like this about a Muslim terrorist going to a big meetin' with UBL? (That'd only add to the "MASSIVE" amount of "anti-Muslim BIGOTRY" out there.)
Patt, stick to your appearances on SNL.
2
posted on
04/20/2005 8:43:50 AM PDT
by
Darkwolf
(Jean Shepherd audio: http://www.flicklives.com/Mass_Back/mass_back.htm)
To: Fred
On the one hand, this is very disrespectful ... on the other other, it's Cardinal Mahoney ...
3
posted on
04/20/2005 8:50:24 AM PDT
by
Tax-chick
(Pope Benedict XVI: The Rat-Zinger!)
To: Tax-chick
On the one hand, this is very disrespectful ... on the other other, it's Cardinal Mahoney ... On the third hand, it's probably real.
4
posted on
04/20/2005 8:58:24 AM PDT
by
JohnnyZ
(“When you’re hungry, you eat; when you’re a frog, you leap; if you’re scared, get a dog.”)
To: JohnnyZ
I was sort of thinking that.
5
posted on
04/20/2005 9:04:58 AM PDT
by
Tax-chick
(Pope Benedict XVI: The Rat-Zinger!)
To: Tax-chick
On the one hand, this is very disrespectful ... on the other other, it's Cardinal Mahoney ...
I disagree, I was nearly laughing out loud (not good at work) - it's so obviously satirical that it couldn't really be taken seriously. If we can't laugh at ourselves a little bit, then it's a sad sad world indeed - or as Hilaire Belloc put it so eloquently:
Where e'er the Catholic sun doth shine
There's always laughter and good red wine,
At least I've always found it so
Benedicamus Domino.
6
posted on
04/20/2005 9:06:58 AM PDT
by
tjwmason
(Viva il Papa!)
To: JohnnyZ
Hold on, JZ. It could very well be false but accurate. After all, it is MSM
7
posted on
04/20/2005 9:08:12 AM PDT
by
kahoutek
To: tjwmason
The thing is, about Cardinal Mahoney it may not be satire.
8
posted on
04/20/2005 9:09:13 AM PDT
by
Tax-chick
(Pope Benedict XVI: The Rat-Zinger!)
To: Tax-chick
this is very disrespectful ... on the other other, it's Cardinal Mahoney ... The more I learn about Mahoney, the less I like him.
He and his ugly cathedral should be swallowed in an earthquake.
To: Fred
If a cardinal said "my bad" it's the 8th sign of the apocalypse.
10
posted on
04/20/2005 9:18:25 AM PDT
by
bigsigh
To: george wythe
For the uninformed, what's the deal with Cardinal Mahoney?
11
posted on
04/20/2005 9:21:32 AM PDT
by
ARCADIA
(Abuse of power comes as no surprise)
To: Fred
Even the barest suggestion that Cardinal Mahoney would have celebrated the election of Joseph Ratzinger is ludicrous.
12
posted on
04/20/2005 9:33:40 AM PDT
by
Cicero
(Marcus Tullius)
To: ARCADIA
For the uninformed, what's the deal with Cardinal Mahoney? He's an idiot.
No moral courage.
No proclamation of Catholic truth.
Bad record on pederast priests.
Built a monstrosity of a cathedral that ignored all the Vatican rules on how to build churches -- obviously he's too important to take that "advice" and besides what's all that old-fashioned stuff about symbolism and glorifying God anyway?
Mahony is off in his own little world but doesn't know it yet.
13
posted on
04/20/2005 9:36:00 AM PDT
by
JohnnyZ
(“When you’re hungry, you eat; when you’re a frog, you leap; if you’re scared, get a dog.”)
To: JohnnyZ
Sounds like he's a little flaky ... why do you say he's an idiot, lacking in moral courage? Why is the cathedral monstrous?
14
posted on
04/20/2005 9:53:41 AM PDT
by
ARCADIA
(Abuse of power comes as no surprise)
To: ARCADIA
He's supposed to be a Cardinal, not a flake.
Do some searches on FR or the web, I'm sure you'll find plenty of commentary.
15
posted on
04/20/2005 10:29:59 AM PDT
by
JohnnyZ
(“When you’re hungry, you eat; when you’re a frog, you leap; if you’re scared, get a dog.”)
To: JohnnyZ
" Bad record on pederast priests." That is putting it mildly. Mahoney does not have the courage to resign from covering up the sex scandals in Los Angeles. Even Cardinal Law had the decency and courage to resign.
More on Mahoney
The 1.8 million dollar LA Cathedral Eyesore
16
posted on
04/20/2005 11:12:32 AM PDT
by
Fred
To: Fred; ARCADIA
17
posted on
04/20/2005 11:30:37 AM PDT
by
JohnnyZ
(“When you’re hungry, you eat; when you’re a frog, you leap; if you’re scared, get a dog.”)
To: Fred
18
posted on
04/20/2005 1:07:03 PM PDT
by
Mr. Mulliner
("If it ain't broke, don't lend it.")
To: Fred
This is so cute. I only wish that the Cardinals hadn't been so hasty to pick the Rottweiler, I'd love to see more of this. You do wonder just goes on in there. What would happen if we had to elect the President that way, lock the Senators and Congressmen in the Capitol until they decided "We have a President."
Food for thought.
19
posted on
04/20/2005 3:01:18 PM PDT
by
PandaRosaMishima
(she who tends the Nightunicorn)
To: ARCADIA
Here's just one anecdote: when the State of California proposed that CA issue 3 billion dollars in bonds to fund embryonic cell stem research, Cardinal Mahony did object (albeit only mildly), as one would expect a Catholic bishop to do. However, do you know what reason Mahony gave for objecting to the proposed bonds? That they would cost too much money. That human life would be conceived and destroyed evidently didn't trouble him. (By the way, Cardinal Mahony never thinks ANYTHING is too expensive when it comes to taxpayers' dollars or building a monstrously ugly cathedral in LA.) The guy's a bum. The only bishop I know of who's worse is Bishop Robert Lynch in Florida, who backed Terri Schiavo's husband in having Terri starved and dehydrated to death.
20
posted on
04/20/2005 3:09:20 PM PDT
by
utahagen
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