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IT'S ONLY FUNNY UNTIL SOMEONE LOSES A PIE(Ann Coulter)
AnnCoulter.com ^ | April 13, 2005 | Ann Coulter

Posted on 04/13/2005 4:18:34 PM PDT by perfect stranger

Liberals enjoy claiming that they are intellectuals, thrilled to engage in a battle of wits. This, they believe, distinguishes them from conservatives, who are religious fanatics who react with impotent rage to opposing ideas. As one liberal, Jonathan Chait, put the cliche in The New Republic: Bush is an "instinctive anti-intellectual" and his administration hostile to "fact-driven debate." In a favorable contrast, Clinton is "the former Rhodes scholar who relished academic debates." Showing his usual reverence for fact-checking, The New York Times' Paul Krugman says the Republican Party is "dominated by people who believe truth should be determined by revelation, not research."

I'm not sure how these descriptions square with the fact that liberals keep responding to conservative ideas by throwing food. (Remember the good old days when liberals' "fact-driven" ideas only meant throwing money at their problems?)

Last October, two liberals responded to my speech at the University of Arizona — during question and answer, no less — by charging the stage and throwing two pies at me from a few yards away. Fortunately for me, liberals not only argue like liberals, they also throw like girls. (Apologies in advance to the Harvard biology professors who walked out on Larry Summers in a demonstration of their admiration of "research," not "revelation" — but this may account for the dearth of female pitchers in Major League Baseball.)

Unfortunately for them, Republican men don't react favorably to two "Deliverance" boys trying to sucker-punch a 110-pound female in a skirt and heels. The geniuses ended up with bloody noses and broken bones.

It's really outrageous how conservatives respond to liberals who are just trying to engage in a "fact-driven debate." How typical of Republicans to go on the offensive just because a female has been physically attacked. Instead of capturing and subduing my attackers, those strong Republican men should have been trying to understand why they threw the pies.

In the five months following the liberal ass-whupping in Arizona — I mean "fact-driven debate" — all was quiet on the Eastern Front. College liberals still couldn't formulate a coherent argument, but they seemed to want to avoid ending up in jail having to explain to their cellmates that they were in for trying to hit a girl (and missing).

Then on March 19, all charges were dismissed against the "Deliverance" boys — including a felony charge for $3,000 worth of damage to school property. Inexplicably, this outcome did not instantly lead to widespread rioting and looting in South Central Los Angeles.

Democrat Barbara LaWall is the Pima County attorney who allowed the liberal debate champions to walk. LaWall brags on her Web site about "holding criminals accountable." She didn't say anything about liberals, however. Be forewarned, conservatives: Do not expect the law to protect you in Pima County.

In the three weeks following the dismissal of all charges against my attackers, three more conservatives were attacked on college campuses.

On March 29, liberals' intellectual retort to a speech by William Kristol at Earlham College was to throw a pie. On March 31, liberals enjoyed the hurly-burly of political debate with Pat Buchanan at Western Michigan University by throwing salad dressing. On April 6, liberals engaged David Horowitz on his ideas at Butler University by throwing a pie at him.

If you close your eyes, it's almost like you're listening to Ludwig Wittgenstein!

If there had been that many attacks on Muslims in the weeks following the 9/11 attack, we'd still be watching Showtime specials about it. (In liberals' defense, this is what they must resort to when there are no student newspapers with conservative editorials to burn.)

At the risk of provoking one of those brainy liberals to throw more food, here's an idea: In order to reduce physical assaults on conservative speakers, maybe we should increase the price. But, to the contrary, when conservative speakers are physically attacked on college campuses, university administrators ignore the attacks, Democrat prosecutors somehow manage to get the charges dismissed, and Democrat flacks like Chait and Krugman pretend they missed the news that day.

What might work better is some form of disincentive to liberals who engage in violent behavior whenever they hear an idea they don't like but can't come up with words to dispute. The punishment doesn't have to be severe — just a small fraction of the wailing and healing that occurs every time there's a hoax "hate crime" on a college campus. (But which still serve a valuable function by calling attention to the issue of hate crimes.)

Last year, classes were canceled and demonstrations held at Claremont College after a white, Catholic visiting professor claimed her car had been vandalized with racist and anti-Semitic slurs. This — at the very moment she was giving a talk on intolerance!

It was just a little too ironic. The incident had all the exquisite timing of an "ABC After-School Special" about hate crimes. But as one student angrily told the Los Angeles Times, the suggestion that it was a hoax is "so sick. They are in denial. People don't want to accept that a well-educated, liberal community can have hate." Needless to say, the vandalism turned out to have been perpetrated by the professor herself.

Or maybe physical attacks on conservatives could merit a small slice of the rage and indignation directed at the display of racist symbols. Last year, a white student at a high school in Washington State was accused of taunting a black student with a noose. In response, the white student was immediately expelled from school. He was charged with a felony. There was a series of town-wide discussions. The U.S. Justice Department sent in mediators. And two more years were suddenly added to Whoopi Goldberg's career.

I think Kristol, Buchanan, Horowitz and I would be perfectly happy if college liberals merely brandished symbols at us. Speaking for myself, I would be unhappy if they didn't. But these Rhodes scholar geniuses with a taste for "fact-driven debate" can't even achieve the level of argument practiced by the average juvenile delinquent. They're still stuck at the intellectual level of 2-year-olds in high chairs throwing food.

COPYRIGHT 2005 ANN COULTER


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Government; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: academicbias; academicviolence; anncoulter; buchanan; campusbias; collegebias; culturewars; girliemen; horowitz; kristol; lefties; liberals; pie; universitybias
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To: MikeA

Everything you know about God came from man.


181 posted on 04/14/2005 6:48:50 AM PDT by Rudder
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To: bray
Buy that Lady a Steak!!

What a miserable time to be a Dinocrat? Far removed from their glory days when America was on it’s knees during their Vietnam War they are being proven absolutely wrong in Iraq. America is back stronger than ever, proving once again if you can keep the Liberals away from the controls, the military will win wars. If the current crop of Pacifists were in control in WWII we would be speaking either German or Japanese. Crazy Uncle Ted’s dad Joe Kennedy wanted us to appease Hitler during the Battle of Britain over the objections of his two eldest son’s. Thank God, we have a President who is a leader and a visionary on the level of Reagan.

While the Nattering Nabobs continue to scream quagmire and Peace w/o Honor, the military just keeps their eye on the ball and continues to roll. The American Military has done more in 24 months bringing about Freedom to a Country than any of these critics have in the past 5 decades. This has been by far the most amazing feat in the history of the world.

Watching a commentator this morning ask a question to an ex-Colonel who recently returned from Iraq asked how the morale of our troops was. You could tell by the expression and tone he was waiting to hear about the loss of morale during the past few months. The Colonel however said it was at an all time high because these young men knew they were making a real difference. The interviewers life ended right there. He went further and said during Nam he would ask what they wanted most right now and it was to go home as soon as possible. These men however wanted to stay and finish the job. This braindead Kerryite was destroyed.

Oh how miserable it is to be a Rat right now? The economy is growing. The PLO is talking to those Zionist Expansionists and the death rate in Iraq is going through the floor. They predicted 1-5 years to conquer Saddamn, it took 21 days. They predicted 10,000 deaths minimum before it was conquered, we’ve lost 1500. They predicted a quagmire for decades, it took 24 months. What is left for them to cheer about? The death of an innocent girl, whoopie! All that is left for them to sink further in their quagmire is for the Stone Age Press to begin questioning their colossal failures. You could make a very good living in Vegas betting against these Anti-Americans’ predictions.

These are the same people who said that Communism was not a murderous form of gummit, that the War on Poverty could be won with enough money and that the UNron was a more efficient form of World gummit. They said that the voters in El Salvador would vote for their propped up Commies, Medicare and SSI were solvent and lower taxes would absolutely kill the economy. They said that there would be tens of thousands of American deaths in the quagmires of Trashcanistan and Iwreck. Their Chrystal Bull said the Middle East street would explode. They have been so wrong so often on so many issues that the only question that needs to be asked is, why anyone accepts anything they predict??

They have had their collective pinheads handed to them by a Country Bumpkin Texas Yahoo with relative ease. How depressing must that be?? They have used a confluence between their geniuses in the Ivory Covered Towers, the Stone Age Press snobs and Hilarycare Rob’em Clinton who’s collective IQ’s must be in the hundreds being beaten by a guy who’s idea of classical music is Waylon Jennings Sr?? You must feel their pain.

The future is bright for America and Iraq. We have a full head of steam behind us and a steady hand on the wheel. The Republican Party still has a ways to go on a number of issues, but when it comes to our reaction to Terrorism we have been steller. We understand that if you are going to War you put the best military minds in the Histoir of the planet in charge and stay out of the way. This is something the other side will never understand or allow and will keep them as permanent members on the Trash Heap of History.

Pray for W and Our Freedom Marching Troops

EXCELLENT POST!!!

182 posted on 04/14/2005 6:59:57 AM PDT by Two-Bits (All I want for Christmas is for Republicans to grow some balls)
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To: perfect stranger

Tough on Crime 'Democratic' Attorney Drops Charges on Ann Coulter Lecture Attackers(Action Required)
Front Page Mag ^ | 4/14/05 | Ann Coulter


Posted on 04/14/2005 5:36:53 AM PDT by marylandrepub1


http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1383470/posts


183 posted on 04/14/2005 7:11:27 AM PDT by marylandrepub1 (It's not yours, it's welfare(it's not even earned yet))
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To: perfect stranger
Fortunately for me, liberals not only argue like liberals, they also throw like girls.


184 posted on 04/14/2005 7:16:41 AM PDT by jslade (People who are easily offended......OFFEND ME!)
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To: Non-Sequitur
Now you can get the T-shirt....
185 posted on 04/14/2005 7:18:09 AM PDT by SAP_guy
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To: Rudder

You could not be more wrong, nor should you assume you know from where my witness of God and the Savior come from. I have a witness of the Spirit of the truth of God and his son Jesus Christ. A witness from the Spirit is such a powerful thing and leaves such an indelible impression that it cannot be of anything other than divine orgin. I invite you to seek for such yourself. You will know it when it comes.


186 posted on 04/14/2005 9:02:21 AM PDT by MikeA
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To: MikeA

One of the real differences is that Conservatives tend to behave as though God was watching. As for "revelation", it tends to more actively be used by the Left. Not necessarily revelation from God, but from a variety of moral sources, or from "penumbras in the emanations" from such (i.e. their own prejudice promoted by shopping around for a moral source).


187 posted on 04/14/2005 12:55:08 PM PDT by AndyTheBear (Disastrous social experimentation is the opiate of elitist snobs.)
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To: Rudder
Everything you know about God came from man.

How do you know?

188 posted on 04/14/2005 12:57:50 PM PDT by AndyTheBear (Disastrous social experimentation is the opiate of elitist snobs.)
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To: perfect stranger

Here is Pima County's email address for anyone intersted in 'commenting' in defens eof our beloved Ann.

Atty Barbara LaWall

web@pcao.pima.gov


189 posted on 04/14/2005 1:26:43 PM PDT by Mr. K ("All your base are belong to us" (gosh I miss that))
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To: Bullish

Yes, hit with a dog s**t pie.


190 posted on 04/14/2005 6:05:30 PM PDT by KingofQue
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To: perfect stranger

Photos taken at a fraternity toga party??


191 posted on 04/16/2005 2:15:22 AM PDT by stm
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To: tet68
Actually a pink squirt gun filled with permanent red dye would be better!!!
192 posted on 04/16/2005 2:20:37 AM PDT by stm
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To: anniegetyourgun
I resemble that remark!

If you look like the girl in that picture and are conservative you may consider this a proposal of marriage.

I'll throw in an armory, pickup truck of your choice, and a generous dowry.

193 posted on 04/18/2005 10:17:48 AM PDT by An Old Marine (Freedom isn't Free)
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To: An Old Marine
LOL! Well, I am blonde and armed, but I don't think Mr. Gun would go for it, AOM!

But with that kind of offer, you'll find yourself hitched in no time!

194 posted on 04/18/2005 12:56:37 PM PDT by anniegetyourgun
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