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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA -- John Kerry relied on info from the ONION for his voter irregularities BS
Larry Elder show | 4-11-05 | dfu

Posted on 04/11/2005 3:17:52 PM PDT by doug from upland

click here to read article


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To: Cyber Liberty
Wow, it's really unbelievable that people would fall for Billy the Burlap Boy too.
41 posted on 04/11/2005 3:42:43 PM PDT by mcg1969
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To: doug from upland
There were voter irregularities. 30,000 absentee ballots to GI'S overseas did not return!
42 posted on 04/11/2005 3:43:42 PM PDT by mountainlyons (alienated vet)
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To: doug from upland

Just one question....Who is John Kerry? Never heard of him...


43 posted on 04/11/2005 3:44:45 PM PDT by queenkathy (Can't think of anything cute for my tagline)
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To: doug from upland

I'm sure this made the day for the author of the Onion story.


44 posted on 04/11/2005 3:45:04 PM PDT by Rocky
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To: doug from upland
It's funny watching Kerry trying to be so ON, and falling on his face--if he wasn't already on crutches he's need some anyway.

Of course, if BUSH said this, he'd be a laughing stock in the media for WEEKS. I suspect we will not see this reported in the MSM.

45 posted on 04/11/2005 3:45:10 PM PDT by Darkwolf377 (Proud Yankee)
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To: doug from upland

Ha...I had this as my tag line for a while before the election......LOL


46 posted on 04/11/2005 3:45:45 PM PDT by mystery-ak
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To: doug from upland
He's delusional, like Clinton and Gore.

Clinton talked himself into his own hype that Ken Starr was a sex-obsessed purtian bent on his destruction. Gore, after trying to fix the Florida recount, actually believes the election was stolen from him.

Apparently Kerry believes his own propaganda points, too. It's kind of frightening.

47 posted on 04/11/2005 3:46:59 PM PDT by SupplySider
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To: Hi Heels
I think Ben would agree ;-)

Cheers,

CSG

48 posted on 04/11/2005 3:49:34 PM PDT by CompSciGuy ("At 20 years of age the will reigns, at 30 the wit, at 40 the judgment." -- Ben Franklin)
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To: mcg1969

I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.
The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't foward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's hard. I wish

I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.

Thank You.
Billy 'Smiles' Evans,
The boy with just a head.
And a burlap sack for a body.


49 posted on 04/11/2005 3:50:24 PM PDT by Cyber Liberty (© 2005, Ravin' Lunatic since 4/98)
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To: anniegetyourgun

and hugh


50 posted on 04/11/2005 3:51:35 PM PDT by CyberAnt (President Bush: "America is the greatest nation on the face of the earth")
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To: doug from upland

http://election.kcrg.com/article.aspx?id=91973

KCJJ's Election Joke Irks Republicans
By Craig Brown
KCRG-TV9 News Reporter
Tuesday, November 02, 2004, 12:37:24 AM

Video

IOWA CITY-- An Eastern Iowa radio station has come under fire for a DJ's comment about when Iowans should head to the polls. The DJ insists it was just a joke, but the Republican Party isn't laughing.

Popular disc jockey Steve Soboroff, know as "Captain Steve" to his loyal listeners at KCJJ in Iowa City, never dreamed his little joke would get this far. Soboroff told his Monday morning audience due to the record amount of voters, Democrats will vote on Tuesday and Republicans on Wednesday Thursday and Friday. "It was said in jest, it was very apparent that it was said in jest. I also said that Republicans were charging 5 and a quarter at the polls for the pencils to fill in the ballots," said a chuckling Soboroff.

It may have been intended as a joke, but the local Republicans think it could be damaging misinformation. "It shouldn't be a laughing matter at all," said Johnson County Republican Co-Chair Todd Versteegh.

The Johnson County Republicans have filed an ethics complaint with the state election board. They're also investigating steps to file a complaint with the FCC and the Federal Election Commission. The republicans say they're appalled, and believe the comment may have confused elderly voters. "This close to an election, this type of behavior should not be tolerated at all by either Republicans or Democrats," said Versteegh.

The Republicans are also upset that Democratic County Supervisor Terrence Neuzil was on the air at the time. But Neuzil told TV9, Soboroff's comment was obviously a joke.

Just to be clear, everyone; Democrats, Republicans and all others will all head to the polls Tuesday.


51 posted on 04/11/2005 3:51:46 PM PDT by maggief
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To: doug from upland

I was under the impression that the line... "Republicans vote on Tuesday and Democrats on Wednesday." was coined on the Glenn Beck show. He even had a massive waffle head of John Kerry driving around blasting that phrase over a PA.


52 posted on 04/11/2005 3:52:09 PM PDT by BROKKANIC
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To: Mo1

Apparently yes. LOL


53 posted on 04/11/2005 3:55:54 PM PDT by nopardons
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Anyone have a link to the original Onion article?


54 posted on 04/11/2005 3:57:49 PM PDT by oolatec
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To: doug from upland
[ Yes, Kerry is relying on a satirical piece to claim something that didn't happen. Good grief. We are so lucky that this idiot and traitor is not residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. ]

The pitiful thing is it was a bit of luck...
The luck being the Swifys... and that he is a poodle..
American women don't seem to have a problem with their politicians being unstable in all their ways.. and veritable liars.

55 posted on 04/11/2005 3:58:14 PM PDT by hosepipe (This Propaganda has been edited to include not a small amount of Hyperbole..)
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To: doug from upland

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

56 posted on 04/11/2005 4:02:09 PM PDT by JOE6PAK ("Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.")
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To: BROKKANIC

I think RUSH did this Tuesday / Wednesday gag years ago.


57 posted on 04/11/2005 4:08:27 PM PDT by JOE6PAK ("Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.")
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Comment #58 Removed by Moderator

To: TomGuy; doug from upland; AdrianR; RWR8189

All links, text, artwork, banners, anything at all from the Onion is prohibited on Free Republic.

Thank you.

These publishers have asked us not to allow any material at all to be posted to FR:

altpressonline.com
americanpolitics.com
antiwar.com
bloomberg.com
eweek.com
extremetech.com
gq.com
independent.co.uk
newyorker.com
pcmag.com
prevention.com
studlife.com
theonion.com
thetowntalk.com
universitystar.com
vanityfair.com
wired.com

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1111944/posts


59 posted on 04/11/2005 4:10:01 PM PDT by Sidebar Moderator
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To: StAnDeliver

I hear ya, Stan ... but Larry Elder is a former very conservative Libertarian who recently converted (!) to Republican. He's on OUR side, and is no friend of Kerry, Liberals, or MoveOn. Give him a listen if you ever get a chance ... he's great. The Sage of South Central!


60 posted on 04/11/2005 4:20:51 PM PDT by Finny (God continue to Bless President G.W. Bush with wisdom, popularity, safety and success.)
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