We spent $12,000 for a wedding with a guest list of 250, a catered buffet, wedding cake, flowers, reception in an elegant mansion, and limousines for the bridal party. Five bridesmaids and groomsmen, flower girl and ring-bearer, and harpist for the music.
How did we hold costs down? The wedding was in February, so the catereers and florists weren't inclined to gouge. Our daughter got her dress off the rack on sale.
I do not regret one penny of the money spent. Our daughter had to deal with several surgeries growing up, due to a birth defect. She has triumphed and graduated from college, her husband loves her dearly, and we are very proud of her.
We were happy to entertain her friends and give her a wonderful evening. I feel the money was well spent, and my daughter and her husband are not in debt.
Those who want to spend differently, fine with me. But simply because someone has a large wedding does not mean they are in debt.
It is hard to say what the circumstances were.
Like I said, if the kids are young, it makes sense. But a man who has a career well underway should pay his own way for a basic ceremony and perhaps allow the in-laws to add embellishments. A man takes care of his obligations, period.
$12K is a bit of an embellishment, but if more people were able to participate than otherwise, I can see it.
But $80K? 200K?