Why VERY INTELLIGENT Men Fail With Women

The Ten Reasons Why HIGHLY INTELLIGENT Men Fail With Women... AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT...

I've been teaching men how to become more successful with women and dating for a several years now... and one "problem scenario" just keeps coming up OVER AND OVER... and OVER and OVER and OVER again...

...and it really amazes me.

I'm going to refer to it as "The Genius Failure Paradox".

"The Genius Failure Paradox" is the tendency for UNUSUALLY intelligent men to have very LOW levels of success with women and dating.

After contemplating this particular paradox, discussing it, and working on it for an awesome amount of time, I'd like to share my thoughts about it with you.

I assume that if you've read this far, then you see probably yourself as smarter than the average guy.

You know that you're a little different than other guys.

You probably realized at a young age that you saw things differently, and thought differently than others in school...

And you've probably realized that your smart mind gives you an advantage over others in many areas of life...

Your smart mind gives you a particular type of advantage that can be very, very powerful in life: YOU'RE USUALLY RIGHT.

Smart people get used to being "right", because they usually ARE right.

And when you're RIGHT more often than others, you can get ahead in many situations.

But unfortunately, this smart mind of yours can actually be WORSE than USELESS when it comes to a key area of life:

WOMEN AND DATING.

By the way, I did say WORSE than useless.

It can actually be like having a hammer when you need to tighten a bolt. If you use the tool you have for the job, you'll most likely make the situation WORSE.

Of course, it's hard for a smart guy to even IMAGINE a situation where his smart mind could HURT his chances for success...

But trust me, this is one of those situations.

So relax, open your smart mind, and let me share with you the ten reasons why smart guys fail with women... and what to do about it.

REASON #1: THEY'RE WRONG, BUT THEY CAN'T OR WON'T SEE IT OR ADMIT IT

I mentioned that smart guys are used to being RIGHT in most situations.

And what do most smart guys do when they come across a situation where they're WRONG?

They find a new situation... one that fits their strength. They know they'll be right next time, so they just walk away... knowing that it won't be long before they're right again.

(OR they let the "problem situation" destroy them... more on that later.)

Well, the BITCH about being wrong when it comes to women and dating is THERE'S NOWHERE TO RUN AND HIDE.

There's no quick "I'm right" around the next corner to make you feel better.

It only takes "failing" with a few women in a row for a smart guy to see the pattern... and realize that something isn't working.

Solution? Think harder.

A smart guy just assumes that his logic must be good... so he just keeps thinking harder.

But when no success comes, it really starts to become mentally difficult.

Accepting that you're wrong is a VERY hard thing for a "smart guy".

Accepting that you're not only wrong, but you have NO CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START is even more difficult.

Ultimately, many smart guys come up with the following logical conclusion:

I AM A SMART GUY, THEREFORE IF I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING, THEN THE PROBLEM MUST NOT BE SOLVABLE OR WORTH SOLVING.

Try that on for a self-defeating idea.

REASON #2: THEY'RE BLIND AND ARROGANT

In short, many smart guys refuse to accept that a good, solid, workable answer could come from someone "dumber" than them, so they discount any idea that comes from an "obviously less intelligent person" before trying it.

Let me ask you a question:

If you were going to be walking across Africa on foot, would you rather have your guide be the guy on this planet with the highest I.Q., or a caveman who lived a million years ago that had an I.Q. of about 50... but who grew up being chased by lions and all kinds of animals that wanted to eat him all his life?

It's an interesting question.

Now, hopefully you'd like to have the guide who isn't the smartest guy around... but who has escaped from many, many dangerous situations with deadly animals...

But now let me ask you:

If you'd like to learn how to be more successful with women and dating, would you take advice from a guy who isn't very intelligent, but who knows how to attract women?

There's something about being smart that makes some guys unwilling to accept input, ideas, or instruction from anyone who isn't either as smart or smarter than them.

Well, any SMART GUY can see the folly in this particular approach... once it's examined closely.

If you've been making this mistake, then you need to STOP IT. Stop being an arrogant bastard, and open your eyes.

Look around.

Learn from some "dumb" guys... and let them teach you how to get what you REALLY want.

REASON #3: POOR SOCIAL SKILLS

It BLOWS MY MIND how many smart guys I meet that just don't GET IT when it comes to basic social skills.

It's as if they have logically reasoned that social skills are for lower beings who need to play games... and not worth the time it would take to learn them.

In fact, I believe that there are a lot of smart guys running around this planet who don't even have "social skills" and "be a cool guy that people like" in their "MENTAL MODEL" of what it could possibly take to be successful with women and dating.

Social skills are just that... SKILLS.

They're not social INFORMATION.

They're not social THEORIES.

They're social SKILLS.

And you don't get them by THINKING about them. You get them by GETTING them.

Excellent social skills are the foundation for good communication with other humans... and if you don't have good social skills, you dramatically lower your chances for success with women.

REASON #4: THEY PSYCH THEMSELVES OUT

Smart guys do something that fascinates the hell out of me...

They come up with all the reasons why everything WON'T WORK when it comes to women and dating.

They actually figure out why what they would like to do will probably fail...

They use their amazing creative imaginations to imagine all kinds of horrible pictures and scenes... and then they use those imaginary outcomes to create negative emotions... which ultimately stop them from having success with women and dating.

THEY DON'T EVEN TRY.

Now, if you've thought something through and come up with a good reason why it would fail, it makes sense to not do it, right?

I mean, why would you want to do things that are going to fail?

It's sound logic, but HORRIBLE thinking when it comes to the REAL WORLD... and success with women.

Because smart guys don't UNDERSTAND women, and they don't UNDERSTAND what it takes to be successful with women, they are working with bad figures. They're wrong before they even start figuring!

Using your mind to come up with all the reasons why things won't work in this area of your life leads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.

You must learn to overcome this habit if you have it.

REASON #5: THEY SEEK ONLY "INFORMATIONAL SOLUTIONS"

What does a smart guy do when he runs into a problem... or he needs to figure something out?

He looks for INFORMATION to help him solve the problem.

MORE INFORMATION is always the answer.

Information is the friend of a smart guy.

Got a strange virus on your computer? Just hop on the internet and search for how to eliminate it.

Don't know how to change the alternator on your car? No prob. Just buy the manual and turn to page 147.

Don't know the definition of a word? Open up your dictionary.

MORE INFORMATION solves the problem.

So what do smart guys do when it comes to overcoming a problem with women?

They want MORE INFORMATION.

They think the answer lies in learning just ONE MORE TECHNIQUE... or one more magic concept.

Well what if there were a situation in life where the "get more information" strategy actually made things WORSE?

How would you even know that it was making things worse?

Now, I don't want to suggest that learning more about how to be successful with women is a bad thing. It's not.

But if you have a problem that is EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL in nature, then reading five million theories on it probably isn't going to help you very much.

You need to get out in the real world and try some stuff!

You need to look at the REAL problem... the ROOT of the problem.

When it comes to women and dating, there's a very good chance that you have MORE than enough "information".

Smart guys often use "more information" to distract them from TAKING ACTION.

I've heard this referred to as "Creative Avoidance".

Nod silently if you've ever figured out a creative way to avoid facing something in your life.

Good, thank you.

REASON #6: THEY FOCUS ON LOGIC INSTEAD OF EMOTION

NEWS JUST IN: Women don't feel ATTRACTION for men who make them THINK.

Women feel ATTRACTION for men who make them FEEL.

So what do most smart guys do when they first meet a woman?

EXACTLY!

They get into a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.

I'm shaking my head right now...

Smart men try to engage women in LOGICAL conversations and interactions because that's where THEY feel comfortable... not knowing that they're SHOOTING THELSEVES IN THE FOOT by doing it!

Get this: A monkey sitting at a typewriter will type the collected works of Shakespeare before you will make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you by engaging her in logical conversation.

When you start a logical conversation with a woman you've just met, you are basically taking out a NEON SIGN that says "I don't get it when it comes to women" and putting it on your head.

Typical "logical" conversations include talking about work, family, school, and jobs... discussing politics, religion, weather... and anything that has to do with math, science, or INTELLIGENCE.

On the other hand, if you start talking to a woman and you say "OK, so tell me something... Why is it that all women say that they want sweet, nice guys... but they all date sexy, selfish bad boys?" (and then make fun of any answer she gives) you're having an EMOTIONAL conversation.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, keep reading. You need more help than I thought.

REASON #7: THEY'RE NOT USED TO THE CHALLENGE OF THE MOMENT

Smart people usually have time to THINK about things.

If you're taking a test, you can sit there and work out the answers.

If you have a math problem, you can work on it until you've figured it out.

If you're trying to fix something, you can keep working on it until it's fixed.

Smart guys are used to being able to take at least a LITTLE bit of time to prepare and show off their "good sides" in most situations.

Not so with women...

If you don't know what to do at every step along the way, you'll be shut down very quickly.

Women have an AMAZING "He doesn't get it" radar system.

Women have all kinds of subtle and ingenious tests that they throw at men to separate the "get its" from the "don't get its".

And if you don't get it, then you're going to fail one of these tests VERY quickly.

But the worst part is that you won't ever KNOW that you were being tested... OR that you failed.

Smart guys aren't used to dealing with complex EMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION challenges in the moment... and especially the "women and dating" kind.

One of they keys to becoming more successful with women and dating is learning to handle all of the tests that women throw at you effortlessly.

But before you can learn how to deal with the tests, you must first learn how to communicate on an emotional level, how to demonstrate that you have fundamental social skills, and how to keep your cool in the moment.

REASON #8: THEY THINK THAT DOING "NICE" THINGS IS THE "SMART WAY"

OK, let me ask you a trick question:

If I told you that you were going to have a date with the supermodel of your choice, which of the following would you choose as a "smart" way of preparing:

1) Find out what her favorite type of flowers are, and show up with a dozen of them so she would be "wowed".

2) Learn about her favorite travel destination so you could discuss it with her.

3) Find out what her favorite type of food is so you could take her to dinner... and she could see that you cared enough to choose something that she enjoyed.

OK, time's up. Which did you choose?

Now, I already mentioned that this was a TRICK question.

The answer is NONE OF THE ABOVE.

But WHY?

These three options all seemed logical, right?

I mean, why WOULDN'T you want to show up with her favorite flowers?

Why WOULDN'T you want to talk about her favorite places to travel?

Why WOULDN'T you want to take her to eat her favorite foods so she enjoyed herself?

Go with me here...

Smart guys think that they're being CLEVER when they do things like buying a woman her favorite flowers... and bringing them to the FIRST DATE.

Right?

In their minds, they're thinking "I'm going to be the guy who is thinking ahead... and I'm going to show up with the flowers that I KNOW she loves... and she's going to see them and like me more because of it".

Makes sense... good math, right?

Well the one teensy-weensy mistake that these "smart" guys make is not realizing that it doesn't actually take a smart person to think like this!

In fact, ANY jackass can figure out how to kiss a woman's ass.

And guess what?

WOMEN KNOW THIS!

And guess what else?

EVERY WUSSBAG DOES THIS STUFF.

An intelligent guy, in his proud arrogance, will think he's being such the charmer by using this "thoughtful" approach...

...and the woman he is chasing will interpret it as just another Wussy who's trying to MANIPULATE her.

Ouch. Another blow to intelligence.

Reason #9: ALWAYS NEEDING TO BE THE EXPERT

Have you ever met a smart guy who always needed to be "right"?

Have you ever met someone who would actually argue with you about something they knew nothing about... and make a fool of themselves because they just couldn't shut their "smart mouths"?

Over the last few years helping guys improve their success with women, I see this one pattern over and over again...

Smart guys don't like to be "beginners" at ANYTHING.

They don't like the idea of screwing up... especially if others are watching.

They want to maintain this "smart guy" image of themselves... so they try to always be "The Expert" at whatever they do.

Instead of saying "Hey, you know what? I'm a beginner at this... how do I do it? What should I do first? What next?"... and instead of being totally OK with screwing up, making mistakes, and making a fool of themselves in front of others in order to LEARN...

...they won't risk embarrassment, failure, or others thinking that they're beginners... so they wind up ultimately FAILING.

MORE NEWS JUST IN: It's OK to be a beginner.

Reason #10: THEY CAN'T DEAL WITH FEAR AND OTHER EMOTIONS

A smart guy's STRENGTH is his MIND.

His WEAKNESS is often his EMOTIONS.

Smart guys are often IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.

Totally stopped.

FROZEN.

And since many smart guys aren't comfortable dealing with things they're not good at, they just repress or RUN away from fear.

Many men would rather DIE in lonely isolation than admit that they don't know how to deal with their emotions... or, GODFORBID, ask for help!

Hey, I went for YEARS like this.

I know what it's like.

But the reality is that any guy can learn to handle and even MASTER his emotions (even fear)... if he just takes the time and effort to learn HOW to do it.

If this is you, then do yourself a big favor... take the time. Take the effort.

Don't worry about what anyone else thinks of you... it doesn't matter.

What matters is you doing the things that YOU need to do FOR YOU.

...I think the reason why I'm so fascinated with "The Genius Failure Paradox" is because I have had to struggle with all of these issues for a lot of years of my life.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm the smartest guy on the planet...

But I don't think mamma raised no fool.

And it always bothered the hell out of me that even though I was so good at figuring things out, I couldn't figure WOMEN out.

Something tells me that you know what I'm talking about.

Well, after beating my head against the wall for a few years... trying all kinds of crazy "logical" stuff... I finally got the "bright" idea to start studying guys who were "naturally" good with women.

Of course, I found out that you could be both NOT SMART, and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN at the same time.

I also learned that you can be SMART and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN too.

By carefully studying what the "naturals" did with women... and learning how they "thought" about the topic, I began to realize that success with women wasn't entirely LOGICAL.

Much of what I learned was very tough for me to accept... because my logical brain just didn't want to buy into it.

One thing I saw was guys pushing women away from them... and having the women then chase them in response.

Made no sense at all.

I saw guys tease beautiful women and make jokes about them to their faces... and then watched those women become "little girls" in response... unable to maintain their composure, and therefore unable to maintain their manipulative power...

It took me quite a long time, but I continued to learn, test, and refine what I was learning until I personally figured out how to approach women in any situation... get any woman's number I wanted anytime I wanted... date any type of woman I wanted...

...and most importantly, GET RID of that "empty" feeling that I carried around my whole life because I didn't know how to attract women.

And once I got this area of my own life together, I decided to help other guys get this area of THEIR lives together.

The ultimate result of all this time, effort, and energy is my free Dating Tips Newsletter.

And I'd like to invite you to sign up.

It's free, there's no obligation, I'll never share your email address with anyone, and you can easily remove yourself anytime with no hassles (and no, I'll never pull any of these tricks where I send you a bunch of unwanted junk email when you try to remove yourself).

Of course, it even gets better than that...

In addition to my free Dating Tips newsletter, I also have a killer downloadable eBook that you can download right now and be reading in literally MINUTES from right now.

It's JAM PACKED with dozens and dozens of specific strategies for overcoming fear, approaching women, getting phone numbers and email address from women quickly, great inexpensive or even free date ideas, and how to take things to a

All the smart men that I know including the one that I look at in the mirror when I get up in the morning have their feet solldly planted in the nineteenth century. This is a problem because most women have their feet planted in the last half of the twentieth century as well as the century that we are all presently living in. This transcends the red state, blue state thingy. Smart men looking for women who have not progressed are going to have follow the telemarketers and look to outsource from Asia.

Yeah, I'm afraid you can count me in on your little posse too. I think you hit upon something. I know myself, if I had a time machine, going back 100-125 years would sound mighty tempting to me. Heck, I kept gettng e-mails from one guy asking me to build HIM a time machine. Well, I'm good at electronics, hold an amateur radio license, love to fix old radios and would like to tackle a 1970's era TV or two, but I think time machines are a bit out of my league. B-D Maybe the next time John Titor (the "time traveller" from 2036 featured on Art Bell/George Noory, I like to follow that story) comes back in his time travelling 1967 Camaro (from the pics, it also resembles the interior to a 1968 Pontiac LeMans too), I'll swipe the sucker. B-) Maybe I'll build one out of that 1970 Zenith I have. B-)

Seriously, I know what you mean, my grade school buddy I still hang with is tying with the idea of talking to women in Russia and elsewhere, heck, he talks to one in Canada, I talk to her too and she seems even more conservative than many American women (Freeper women excluded of course as in all my talk on this subject on FR, I want to make that clear) I've run across. Of course, things can be deceiving on the internet too so you gotta be very careful. He's through with American women.

Well, myself, I would love a conservative, Christian woman, American or not, but that is my position.

I think getting back to what you said, sure we men would do our share of the housework but there are times we like to be pampered to although it is a two way street as well so there are time we need to pamper the women too. I hesitate on speaking on a sensitive topic as this, but since I got dragged in, well, I have this habit of opening up my big mouth. B-)

LOL! Psych pop garbage. Treat people right and people will find you worth spending their time with you. It isn't really that complicated. Manipulation will get you nowhere. Sincere compliments with go a long way with people than devious flattery. You don't need to spend big bucks to have success with people. I said people - not women. The same skills that you have for dealing with workers, friends and strangers work as well in romantic pursuits. There's no mystery to what you need to do to get someone interested in you. Treat them right.

Hmmmm, maybe that's the key. The Golden Rule. I'll have to remember that.

BUT-- I have some questions-- and I think other men have them too, but are afraid to ask, for fear of retaliation from other Freepers. Since I ALWAYS get flamed, at nearly every post, I am getting used to it now.

You bring about good questions and I hope I don't get flamed, but I'm used to it. B-) Anyhoo, I think what the "free love" and rabid feminist movements from the 1960's caused a lot of the problems we have between men and women today. Basically, you have the idea of a "superwoman" coming about who didn't need men and could be a man when she wants to be, much like you turn a TV on or off. There are times that I think the social upheavels of the 1960's should have been aborted, again there are times I wish I had a time machine. I'll be 39 in July and there are times I do shake my fist at those 1960's radicals and say to them, "thanks a heap for ruining my country."

In the beginning, the old Victorian feminists wanted doors open up for women, they wanted the opportunities to exist if a woman choosed to go into a career. I have no problem with that and encourage it, but like anything else, the requirements for the job/career in question need to be met on their own merits, regardless of gender, skin color, etc. Say if the job requires a 4 year degree or to carry a 100 lbs pack, then it should apply to all equally. I know in some cases, depending on those requirements, you might get more women then men who could meet them or vice versa. There are differences between the genders and the rabid feminists want to erase that. Good luck in trying to change God's work from what He intended, but they still try.

Well, here is another voice in the wilderness, even though you might remember me and also see my posts on Audio Karma as well. B-)

I state the obvious. Many many women have this belief that men are here to provide for them, cater to them, adorn them with everything, listen to them, understand them, apologize to them, all while never feeling themselves that they have the same obligations to the man.

I'm telling you from personal knowledge, most guys I know feel exactely as I wrote, and are very very tired of the typical Amercian woman's attitude about most things.

Sometimes we wish we were back in the 50's. Although it was not perfect, it seemed like a dynamic that worked, although I could be wrong.

You hit the nail on the head with that one. I just typed something similar a few posts ago, I hope it was clear enough, but you said almost exactly what I said. It is a two way street.

What about the "guys only care about boobs and butt and sex" stereotype etc. as well?

Women aren't immune from this problem.....both men and women have their own explanations for why they fail with the opposite sex, whether it is that guys are frightened of independent/intelligent/funny/fun (fill in the blank with whatever you think you are, hot stuff) women or if it is that women only like bad guys.

Now, in my experience, girls do like a bit of excitement and unpredictablity. You will not go very far if you are boring and stale. But, at the same time, it is just not true that all girls are into bad guys (though I must say, I was surprised when listening to a conversation before my mass media writing class in which most of the girls, even "nerds" were talking about how they liked wild, bad boys....and this is a Christian college...)

Hey, nowhere, Been out for a few hours. Had to do the radio club thing tonight. picked up some more '70's tv modules. (sold one, plus a coil from my '62 Zenith roundie chassis, spare, stashed in my Middletown garage, sold both to AK'ers. ).

Anyhoo, You say you want to go back 100 years, I just want to go back 20, to have another chance with a woman who genuinely cared about me, but at the time ,I was distracted by others, till it was too late.I would give a LOT, probably even a CTC5, or, maybe even a ct100, or Zenith Stratosphere, to have another chance with Kim.

BTW-- the Oxygen channel shouldn't be called the CO channel, it should be called the VX channel!!

I am really shy as well. I don't talk much in the college cafeteria when I go to eat because the stuff being talked about just doesn't interest me usually unless it is 1) theology 2) politics 3) a movie I actually have seen...half the time they talk about something I haven't even seen.

However, when I meet somebody I think is interesting, especially girls, I try very hard to talk to them. I write down conversation topic ideas. I talk to them. I ask them questions about everything. I look up some funny jokes to tell. In a sense, I do everything I can to prep myself to get over my shyness with this person, and the way I can do that is by coming "prepared." It works. I did this with one girl and she eventually began to like me....and that was after she first said there was no way we would be anything but "just" friends. I was amazed. It didn't work out, but you will be amazed at how much just trying to get out of your shell will help, even if it is just with that one person. In my case, this girl was very quiet herself. It was like pulling teeth getting her to talk and rather humorous that I was the talkative one.

But, you just have to get out of your comfort zone and do it.

Frankly, coming up with things to talk about isn't as easy as they say it is. I know. But, you have to do it if you really think somebody is worth the effort. That is the only way you can get to know them.

I don't go on many dates; I much prefer being friends first, not jumping into things with an akward first date etc. But, I will say that on these dates, I do my best to be talkative. And, it pays off.

You just have to do it. It may not be easy, but it sure is worth it.

And, this way, we only exert our energy on people worthy of it, not on everybody we see like those outgoing types. :)

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.