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Posted on 04/05/2005 2:05:00 AM PDT by Mo1
Or use PayPal and send to: jimrob@psnw.com
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Free Republic, LLC
PO Box 9771
Fresno, CA 93794
Thank you all very much!!
About an hour .. but I think I need to drink a pot of coffee to kick my butt in gear
How did the hair turn out?
The gray is all gone and all is well once again :0)
I'm thinking of putting highlights in the next time though
Well, you need to come home again. It beats the heck out of Flori-duh. I wouldn't exchange WV for a dozen Floridas. We're here to stay and love it. Oh, my son's music. I have the CDs but don't know how to get them from the CD to FR. I don't have any web space and wouldn't know how to use it if I did.
Hi Rotti.
We're well, thanks. This week's been insane, but I'm back to "normal" now :o)
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" (you're gonna love this...)
(wait for it...) The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's is a Rolling Stone." (You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)
Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!! Have a lovely day.
I love that frog joke.
Gad to hear it -- you had me worried.
Take care ;-).
Glad you liked it! :)
I'll get up there one day before to long.
I hang out in the Canteen mostly. It is dedicated to supporting the troops. really good people and a good place. We play a lot of music and there is a folks there that really help us that don't know a lot. LOL If you get a chance drop by.
I would really like to hear your son.
Did You Know...
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home. Maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the...?!")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig. Can you imagine??)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....................)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
lol.. Got me! Again! ;-)
I got a new digital camera and was having fun
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
Hmmm, I wonder how they know this?
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes
for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!!
************************************************************
Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You
might still have the headache, but who the hell cares!
*************************************************************
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone
to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone,
for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with
your feet up anyway.
*************************************************************
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
the potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry
about the potatoes growing arms and legs.
*************************************************************
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a
bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess on
the bottom of the cake.
Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a
bitch for you.
*************************************************************
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to
yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
brushing egg whites, so don't do it.
*************************************************************
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish
washing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.
*************************************************************
And finally the most important tip... .
*************************************************************
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail....... but, a true
friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn... that was fun!!
Good question! LOL
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