What if? Three Steps to Take Now to Prepare! (avoiding the Terri mess)

Yahoo.com ^ | 2 April 2005 | Suze Orman

[Grampa Dave]

Excellent summary in your reply re what we should do. Will it be perfect, no. Will it work at all times, no. But it is better than leaving it a mystery.

"I think that the real point should be what you would wish, and who you trust to make sure that happens - regardless of bickering over technical definitions of various mental/neurological states."

"Choose the line you don't want to cross. Communicate that line. Get it in writing. Get the backup mentioned above. Avoid another pathetic circus. Period."

[Grampa Dave]

Thank you for the links. I remember the first thread, and I had not seen the second link.

[queenkathy]

When our kids were young we put in our will they'd go to my sister and her husband if we both died. My will needs to be updated because my youngest is 28 and they often tease me that they are going to my sister when we die. Thanks for reminding me to update.

[WhistlingPastTheGraveyard]

Especially if you're living anywhere near Clearwater, Florida.

It's absolutely amazing to me the number of people writing their own death warrants to be carried out they moment the fall to 2 on L. Ron Hubbard's Emotional Tone Scale.

[Grampa Dave]

"When our kids were young we put in our will they'd go to my sister and her husband if we both died. My will needs to be updated because my youngest is 28 and they often tease me that they are going to my sister when we die. Thanks for reminding me to update."

BOL!

We were worse than you. When we set up our trust going on 3 years ago this summer, our sons were in their mid 30's and still in our old will re who would be the guardians. Our lawyer, who knew both of them, said they probably didn't want to live with their uncle and aunt since they didn't live in California.

[Grampa Dave]

"yeah and since they dont want to face the mess, that is more the reason to get it done.

Think of the mess it will be should the most unfortunate of events happen...."

Which is why all them will get an email about this from mean ole Uncle Dave and their sweet Aunt.

[MikefromOhio]

LOL

[Grampa Dave]

We will be playing bridge this afternoon after lunch with my wife's oldest and longest friend.

About six years ago her pro death Neurologist pronounce her brain dead after a severe stroke caused by pass surgery. Fortunately her daughters and husband listened to us and others and fired that Neurologist and got another one.

She still has a speech problem and walking problems. However, she plays bridge as good as she did years ago, does the finances and keep their social schedules going including appointments and social functions like today.

[TruthShallSetYouFree]

Brain dead. There's a test that is accurate for that?

Absolutely! Voting the straight democrat ticket in a national election is prima facie evidence.

[CyberAnt]

Also .. every state has a Medical Association - in CA - the CMA provided the forms and information on how to fill it out. The cost was minimal $5 for each form - and they will mail them to you.

You can always update it every few years - in case your opinions change.

I don't think a POA is that required, unless there is a large family and they are at odds with each other - then designating one person to have authority to implement the AMD might be a good thing. My sisters and I have already agreed to abide by what our mom wants on her AMD - regardless of our own personal decision about ourselves. A copy will be given to her doctor.

[Quix]

Seems to me to be a reasonable but very structured form. Would have preferred an option to write out one's own specific preferences.

There may be other free sites which have that option but I don't know. Anyone else know such a site?

[queenkathy]

That was a good article. Lots to consider there.

It actually confirms we did the right thing with our mom. She had lung cancer and was in hospital waiting for some new procedure where they put something through her nose and it had meds on it to treat cancer. Very new at that time (1990). That night before surgery she had a seizure. Lasted 1 more week with use of anti-seizure meds and breathing machine. The Dr told us that he ordered a brain wave test but we needed to start thinking about what to do. He explained very clearly that what made mom, mom, was gone. We told him we'd wait until the tests came back but that night she passed away. Thanks to God, we didn't have to make that decision but we had decided that if her tests came back that she had no brain activity, we would turn the machine off.

[MrDem]

What if? Three Steps to Take Now to Prepare! (avoiding the Terri mess)

1) Move to a state/area where like-minded people, who respect life live, choose the judges and officials.

2) Do what Rush has done in his will, explicitly writing out any heirs who have any part in trying to kill you.

3) Stash lots of water in hidden caches.

[queenkathy]

Oh great! Maybe I should insist on more than one test, more than one Dr...Oh my

[Grampa Dave]

We would probably need a POA as one son could not make the tough decisions even if we told him and had it in writing.

One of the potential problems with a POA is the new patient confidentiality acts. My wife's older brother didn't want to be a POA with their mother. So my wife and the younger brother were the official POA's. One time when their mother was in a hospital, the younger brother was out of state and we lived 2000 miles away. The hospital staff refused to share any info with him as he was not named. My wife called 3-5 time per day to get info and to help coordinate care.

[Grampa Dave]

I will be off the board the rest of today and most of tomorrow.

We will be having lunch with a friend who was pronounced brain dead about 6 years ago. After lunch we will play several hours of bridge, and she will out bid and play the 3 of us, my wife, her husband and I.

Take care and God Bless.

[MeekOneGOP]

Good common sense advise ping! :)

What if? Three Steps to Take Now to Prepare!
(avoiding the Terri mess)

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Grampa Dave writes:

Regardless of what side of the Terri mess we are on. We need to make our wishes/wants clear and documented for our loved ones. Don't leave them in the dark and yourself at the mercy of the courts.

Take the time to discuss what you want, spell it out, have it witnessed and maybe notarized. We did this when we set up our trust two years ago, and we will revisit those orders we set out and make some changes.

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See the article post for details. :)

Please let me know if you want ON or OFF my General Interest ping list!. . .don't be shy.

[thoughtomator]

It only takes one step, really: don't marry a violent, pathological individual.

[Old Professer]

If I don't hear from you by next week, I'll be calling the local Meals on Wheels chapter to cancel your deliveries.

[MEG33]

Thank you, thank you!..I will have someone download these for me..several copies..I feel negligent for not having done this earlier ..though my wishes have been expressed in no uncertain terms to my children(I am a widow).