We would probably need a POA as one son could not make the tough decisions even if we told him and had it in writing.
One of the potential problems with a POA is the new patient confidentiality acts. My wife's older brother didn't want to be a POA with their mother. So my wife and the younger brother were the official POA's. One time when their mother was in a hospital, the younger brother was out of state and we lived 2000 miles away. The hospital staff refused to share any info with him as he was not named. My wife called 3-5 time per day to get info and to help coordinate care.
I will be off the board the rest of today and most of tomorrow.
We will be having lunch with a friend who was pronounced brain dead about 6 years ago. After lunch we will play several hours of bridge, and she will out bid and play the 3 of us, my wife, her husband and I.
Take care and God Bless.
I realize this is going to open a whole nuther can of worms. But .. we must try to stop this wholesale murder by judge.